<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Way We Move by outofmygourd</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170630">The Way We Move</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/outofmygourd/pseuds/outofmygourd'>outofmygourd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CrankGameplays - Fandom, Unus Annus - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mostly Fluff, SA and rape not part of a kink either bc i dont like that, anxiety and comfort, chapters will have separate content warnings, depictions of violence and blood, mention of sexual assault and rape, no actual rape or sexual assault, no super intense plot besides average conflicts, slow burn(ish?), some smut, will update tags as the story progresses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:33:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>52,075</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/outofmygourd/pseuds/outofmygourd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ethan starts his freshman year (first year) of college (university.) Mark is his roommate, who doesn't seem to like him too much-- at first. We follow Ethan through the ups and downs of new college life; finding friends, passing his classes... and trying to ignore the massive crush he's developing on his dorm mate, who may or may not hate him. TL;DR Mark is grumpy and takes awhile to warm up to Ethan, both boys being pretty clueless about their feelings for each other.<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Moving In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! this is all just for fun bc honestly i wish there were more long fanfics of the guys, plus it's been superrrr romance starved during quarantine, so this is mostly just me desperately yearning for romance but being too lazy to come up with my own characters lmfao. i hope they never find this, and am going to choose to believe they never ever will. not sure if i'll write smut bc it makes me feel weird writing smut about real people that aren't actually in a relationship, but chances are there might be some light smut (i will always CW in the notes before the chapter it's in!) i wanna be as respectful as i can, ya know? so this is allll works of fiction, yada yada yada. lastly, is something u think should be put as a TW but isn't, pls feel free to let me know! I know most of the basic things to TW, but u never know ppl's individual experiences!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you think you’re ready, Ethan?” I may be an anxious person in general, but today my anxiety is through the roof. I’ve been sitting in my mom’s car in the visitor’s parking lot for twenty minutes, legs bouncing and my nails being bitten. I feel bad making her wait, but she’s always been very patient with me. She knows as much as I do how much anxiety can kill your brain. I took a deep breath and removed my hand from my mouth, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.<br/>
</p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” It was time I just bite the bullet. I’m not even that far away from home, only a few hours of a drive, but moving into my dorm seems to be the most daunting task in the world. I open the door and grab my backpack, slinging it over my shoulders. I walk around to the trunk and grab my rolling suitcase, my mom taking a small box of trinkets and other odd things I might need. She closes the trunk and locks the car, following me towards what looks like the quad. God, how cliche, there’s a quad with a bunch of students sitting in their respective circles on the grass. Some were playing music, some already had textbooks out and were studying. Jesus, it’s move-in day, how far ahead could you possibly need to get? A pang of fear shoots through me once more, a voice in my head telling me I’m not dedicated, motivated, or focused enough to succeed here-- let alone be here.<br/>
</p><p>“This is a big campus,” My mom says, looking around as we walk to a large building that reads “EAST HOUSING ONE” on a large concrete sign out front. This was supposed to be where my dorm was.<br/>
</p><p>“I don’t know how I’m gonna avoid getting lost…” I mumbled, mostly to myself. My mom adjusted her grip on the box so she could reach out a hand to rest reassuringly on my shoulder.<br/>
</p><p>“You’ll figure it out, you’re a bright kid. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here in the first place,” She gives me a loving smile, and it does ease the knot in my stomach just a bit. It’s nice that someone thinks that about me, since I can’t believe it myself. I spent the first few weeks after receiving my acceptance letter insisting there had been a mistake, and they didn’t mean to let me in. Like maybe they had the wrong Ethan. But then my dad pointed out that the chances of there being other ‘Ethan Nestor-Darlings’ to confuse me with were pretty slim. I wish my dad could have been here too, but he’s super busy with work. He felt bad that he couldn’t get time off, but I told him not to worry and that I understood.<br/>
</p><p>“What if my roommate’s a dick?” I couldn’t stop my racing thoughts from spewing out now as we walked up the steps and crossed the threshold into the dorms building.<br/>
</p><p>“Then you try and request a room switch, and if that doesn’t work you ignore him and invest in some noise cancelling headphones,” My mom said with a humorous smile. This made me chuckle, and relieved some stress. I suppose there was nothing saying I had to interact with my roommate.<br/>
We walked through the main room, which looked like some sort of joint hangout room, with TVs, plenty of seating, vending machines, even a pool and foosball table. It reminded me of the common areas in Zoey 101, except less intensely colored and all the seating wasn’t arranged to make room for a camera. While the privatization of academia and the inaccessibility of higher education is something that deeply bothers me in America, I gotta say, this place is pretty cool.<br/>
Not only was this building large land-wise (and apparently not the only east housing unit), but it was also tall as shit. My dorm was only on the fourth floor, but it goes up nine stories, not including the ground floor. I wonder how many dorm buildings there were, and if all of them were this massive. I suppose it makes sense, this campus is fucking massive, and they’re nearly overcrowded.<br/>
</p><p>We finally reached my dorm, number 421 (so close to such a good joke) and when I unlocked the door with the keys that had been mailed to me (which I thought was a risky way of doing it) I was relieved to see my roommate was not here, and from the looks of the empty room, hasn’t been here yet. I get first dibs.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, I would offer to help you unpack, but you didn’t really bring much. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive some more things up at some point?” My mom asked, setting the box she was carrying on one of the two empty desks. They were pretty small length wise, and had a weird, cubby-like bookcase thing attached to them, but it would be useful since there wasn’t much storage space in here. One thing I’ll say, Zoey 101’s dorms were much bigger and more lavish. And they weren’t even in college!<br/>
</p><p>“No, it’s okay, there’s not too much space here. But thank you,” I said with a smile, dropping my backpack on the bed under the window. “Plus, if my roommate has more room for his stuff maybe he’ll be inclined to be a bit nicer,” I said with a chuckle. I didn’t mind him decorating the whole room if he wanted. I was honestly kind of banking on him being some rich kid who brings a TV and maybe some game consoles. I didn’t bring my whole PC setup, and instead opted for a more powerful laptop so I could play at least some games.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright sweetie, do you want me to stay for a bit?” My mom asked in that tone that I know means she wouldn’t be bothered to stay if it eases my mind, but she thinks I can handle it on my own. She always has the same voice when offering to help soothe my anxiety, and I can’t help but get teary eyed at it. Both of my parents mean the world to me, and it’s just now hitting me that I won’t be living with them, maybe ever again.<br/>
</p><p>“No, I-I’ll be okay,” I couldn’t stop the voice crack, and I felt my face flushing like it does before I start crying.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, sweetheart,” By the time she was wrapping me in a hug, tears were streaming down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop the quiet sniffles leaving my body. “You’re gonna be amazing here, I know it’s scary, but you’re a natural people pleaser. Even if you don’t believe it,” She spoke softly as she pet the back of my head soothingly, my body lurching every now and then from a hiccup. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay for a little? We can unpack and get lunch,” she offers as I finally pull away. I wipe my tears on the sleeve of my hoodie and think for a moment, deciding that actually sounds nice.<br/>
</p><p>So we unpack, which barely takes us twenty minutes, and head out for lunch at a cute cafe we spotted when we were nearing the school. There are more tears when I say goodbye to her in the parking lot, both from her and me, but I feel a bit better. She always knows how to calm me down.<br/>
I dig around in the pocket of my jeans for the keys, fumbling with them while trying to unlock the door. Don’t know what it is, but I’ve never been great with locks. It’s like there’s a learning curve I have to go through with each new lock I encounter. Finally I burst through into my dorm, but am instantly caught off guard by the presence of another person. He took the bed across from the desks, mine being perpendicular to his and next to the window. Guess we can’t do the whole sitcom ‘this half’s mine, this half’s yours, don’t cross the tape’ bit.<br/>
</p><p>“O-oh, hi!” I say with the nicest smile I can muster. I’m usually much more energetic than this, but today has been extremely draining. I wish I could meet my roommate on a day I feel more like myself. He’s not tall exactly, but a little taller than me, and pretty muscular. His hair is dark brown-- basically black-- and somewhat long, flipping out just a bit at the ends and curling slightly over his lightly tanned forehead. He’s bent over his bed, folding clothes, and turns only his head to look at me, not stopping what he’s doing. He barely nods in my direction before turning back to his clothes. Not the friendliest… great. Although, I don’t want to judge him too much. I just wished I could meet him when I felt more myself, so who knows how stressful today has been for him.<br/>
</p><p>I close the door and walk over to my bed, plopping myself down, springs squeaking as the mattress bounces a bit. “I’m Ethan,” I say, trying to be nice without being annoying. He moves some of his clothes into one of the thin, tall dressers next to the desks.<br/>
</p><p>“Mark,” is all he says as he hangs up his clothes, not bothering to look my way. I can’t help but widen my eyes and roll them when his back is turned. Okay, so not the talkative type, but at least he’s not outright mean.<br/>
</p><p>“Cool! Are you a freshman too?” I ask, deciding I’d try one last time before giving up.<br/>
</p><p>“No.” With that answer, I decided to surrender defeat. He’s probably just tired. Or maybe family issues, not everyone has a support system like I do, so I imagine if that’s the case today must feel even lonelier.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, if any of my stuff is in your way feel free to move it. You can also decorate the room however you want, I’m not really picky,” I say, grabbing my bag and deciding to explore the campus to avoid this awkward silence. Maybe this will force me to get out more. He doesn’t respond, so with that, I leave and start my exploration. </p><p>	There was only about a day to relax before classes started, and I spent it mostly outside by myself, scouting out what resources the campus had to offer. I’m a film major, so I also was scoping out some places that might be useful for future projects. There’s some pretty cool sculptures and architecture here, especially at night this place could be really cool to shoot.<br/>
</p><p>It’s a little after 10 PM now, and I haven’t seen Mark since I got back yesterday, and even then he was reading with his earbuds in. He was already gone when I woke up this morning. He, unfortunately, did not bring a TV, but unlike me he did bring his whole PC setup. Maybe we can use that to bond over. I’m still hopeful about him warming up to me.<br/>
</p><p>Finally, only five minutes until curfew (11:30 PM on school nights and 1:30 AM on weekends) I hear the door unlock. In walks Mark, hanging his keys on the little hook that sticks out from the dressers.<br/>
</p><p>“Well aren’t you a busy bee,” I say with a smile, looking up from my phone. He just looks at me before reaching behind his neck and ripping his shirt off over his head, to presumably change. My eyes instantly widen at the sight of his body, and I force myself to bury my nose in my phone, very aware of the no doubt vibrant blush spreading across my cheeks and to my ears. I could tell he was muscular with clothes on… but seeing him shirtless is like looking at one of the sculptures on campus. Chiseled chest, pretty chiseled stomach, and god those arms... I pulled my knees in and shrunk down in my bed, trying to hide the blush spreading to my neck, and very pointedly Not Looking At Mark. I feel it’s safe once I hear him collapse onto his bed after turning out the main room light, leaving only the lamp I brought for my desk to illuminate my bed. I reach over and turn it off, deciding I can scroll through Twitter without keeping him up with the light. Despite my best efforts to get to bed early, I didn’t fall asleep until well after 1 AM.</p><p>Mark was once again gone by the time I woke up in the morning. Maybe he has an earlier morning class, but I get the feeling he just wants to spend the least amount of time near me as possible. I don’t know why, since I barely know him, but that thought hurts a bit. Although I guess it’s normal to want people to like you. I ignore it, and get dressed for the day, pulling on a striped sweater, some grey skinny jeans, and my Vans.<br/>
</p><p>Even though I’m a film major, I still have to take math, science, english, and history courses. Luckily for my history I can take Film History, so it’s at least not the same shit we’ve been learning about since middle school (which isn’t even an accurate depiction of what actually happened, anyway.) Today, my first class is Statistics. Needless to say I was not happy about getting math as a morning class, but I’ll get through it. Mondays are my “boring” days as I’ve named it according to my schedule. Basically the only thing I have today that might be interesting is Film History-- but I’m not placing any money on that.<br/>
The communal showers are a bit daunting, but honestly nowhere near as bad as high school locker rooms, so I get in and out quickly, leaving me plenty of time to find the math building. It is, unfortunately, across campus according to the directory I keep in my back pocket (and a picture of in my phone. There’s no way I’m getting lost in this small town of a college.)<br/>
</p><p>I arrive mildly out of breath from the speed walk to the math building, but I’m actually early, so I pick a seat towards the back. There’s only one other person in the room when I arrive, but within the next five to ten minutes the room quickly fills up. I see someone walking towards me, a tall guy with thick glasses and curly hair. I shoot him a smile when we make eye contact, and he returns it.<br/>
</p><p>“Do you mind if I sit here?” He asks, gesturing to the seat next to me.<br/>
</p><p>“No! Go for it!” I smile up at him. He pulls his laptop out of his backpack and drops the bag on the floor, sliding into the seat next to me. “I’m Ethan,” I say cheerily, reaching out my hand. The guy chuckles before shaking it.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m Bob, nice to meet you, man,” He says, returning my smile. “Are you a freshman?”<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, easy to tell, huh?” I chuckle. “Are you?”<br/>
</p><p>“Nah, sophomore. My schedule got fucked up last year so I’m taking my first year of math this year,” he says, opening his laptop and pulling up a document to take notes in. I look around and see some people opted for notebooks and pens, so I choose that route, pulling a thick, blue, multi-class notebook out of my bag.<br/>
</p><p>“Damn, that sucks,” I say, Bob nodding in agreement. “What’s your major?”<br/>
</p><p>“Law,” he says with a laugh once he sees my surprised expression, “Don’t worry, I’m not ridiculously stuck up and boring.”<br/>
</p><p>“Well that’s good to know,” I laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“What’s yours?”<br/>
</p><p>“Film,” I chuckle at his expression as well. “Don’t worry, i'm not some pretentious, artsy blogger trying to get rich selling harmful weight loss teas.” We both laughed, and pretty soon the professor walked in and began his lecture. A grueling two and a half hours later, and the lecture was finally over. It wasn’t the worst though, with Bob and I whispering jokes about the professor’s awful comb over every time he turned too fast and it flapped up.<br/>
</p><p>“You’re pretty funny, kid. We should hang out sometime,” he said, then smiled, “if you’re in the market for a boring lawyer friend, that is.”<br/>
</p><p>“Honestly, I’m in the market for any kind of friend. Gotta have someone to bail me out when these teas eventually kill someone,” I said, both of us chuckling. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. My next two classes were English Comp and Film History, both of which went by pretty slow, but it wasn’t the worst. English Comp was only an hour and a half long, as well, so I wasn’t complaining too much. My last class of today is Physiology, which doubled as health and science credits. This class is where I met Wade, a brown haired, bearded guy about the height of Bob. We got to talking before class and it turned out he and Bob were pretty good friends, so after class we also exchanged numbers. He’s a junior, but our sense of humor is pretty similar, plus maybe he, Bob and I could form a little friend group.<br/>
</p><p>I was smiling to myself at how nice everyone, besides Mark, had been while I unlocked the door to my dorm, not realizing it was taking me rather a bit because I wasn’t focused.<br/>
</p><p>“Are you actually gonna open the door or…?” A deep voice came from behind me, making me jump and drop my keys. I spun around to see Mark, staring at me with one eyebrow raised. This is the first time I got to notice what a nice shade of brown his eyes are. I guess I must have been staring because he waved his hand in front of my face with a “Hello?”<br/>
</p><p>“Right-- fuck-- sorry--” I winced, scrunching my eyes shut as I bent down to grab my keys. “I’m, uh, not great with locks.” Mark furrowed his brows at that, stepping forward-- very much now in my personal space--  using his own key to unlock the door and open it, pushing passed me. I stood in the hallway, aware of the slight blush rising to my cheeks. Why does he make me feel so embarrassed? It’s like I have performance anxiety whenever I’m around him.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, I don’t ever think I’ve heard someone say they ‘aren’t good with locks’,” he said, dropping his bag on his bed, sitting at his desk chair and pulling out his phone.<br/>
</p><p>“Where I lack in unlocking, I make up for in climbing through windows,” I breathed a laugh, closing the door behind me before plopping myself and my bag on my bed. This is the most he’s said to me since we moved in, and even then it seems like everything he says to me is still boring him. Just then, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out to see Bob has texted me, asking if I want to meet him, Wade, and two other of his friends for snacks, drinks, and games at his dorm. Apparently, he does have a TV. His dorm is in the second east housing building, so I grab the basics of things I need and get ready to head out. I pause for a moment, realizing Mark is also getting up to leave.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m meeting up with some friends, I’ll see you around,” I said, knowing he probably doesn’t care in the slightest, but what can I say? I’m dead set on making him at least tolerate me.<br/>
</p><p>“So am I, actually,” He said, not looking at me as he opens the door.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey, do you know where the second east housing building is?” I ask as I follow him out the door. He stops and looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I’m headed there now actually. I guess I can show you the way,” His words seem unsure, like he doesn’t want to offer but he has to because it would be awkward otherwise. Nonetheless, it makes me happy.<br/>
</p><p>“Cool! Thank you,” I beam at him as we make our way out of our housing building.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Warming Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Turns out the campus isn't so big after all! Mark and Ethan end up having some friends in common, and maybe, just maybe, a drunken game night leads to Mark warming up to Ethan.<br/>CW: alcohol</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We walk in silence for awhile, and I’m a little surprised the second east housing building isn’t closer to the first. “So…” I say, trying to break the silence. “What year are you in if you’re not a freshman?”<br/>
</p><p>“Sophomore,” He says simply. Not sure why I expected more than a one word answer.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, nicel. What major?” I ask.<br/>
</p><p>“Engineering,” He says, not bothering to further the conversation by asking me what my major was. Not that I was particularly offended by his disinterest, I’ve gotten pretty used to it already.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, wow cool! We got big brain over here,” I say with a smile, which he acknowledges with a quiet nod.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m a film major, so not much book smarts,” I say with a chuckle, enjoying the crisp breeze of the early evening. I take in the surroundings, all the other students laughing and hanging out in various places. Someone is even playing guitar in the quad. I can’t help but chuckle at yet another college cliche.<br/>
</p><p>“What’s funny?” He asks, again like he’s not really that interested.<br/>
</p><p>“Nothin’, just ya know how in movies there’s always some guy on the quad strumming his guitar,” I say, nodding towards the guy as we pass. “People playing hacky sack,” I nod to a circle of people trying to keep the small bean bag in the air, all exclaiming when it falls and hits the ground. “Or stoners… stoning,” I chuckle, waving to the group of people passing around a joint as we walk by. They all smile and wave back. And for the first time, I hear the closest thing to joy come out of him as he breathes a short laugh out of his nose, the kind you do when something is only the slightest bit amusing.<br/>
</p><p>“Never noticed that, you’re right,” He says as we find ourselves in front of a building that says “EAST HOUSING TWO” on a concrete sign, similar to our building. They have similar architecture, except this building actually looks somehow bigger.<br/>
</p><p>“Jeez, I’m never not gonna stop being amazed by the size of these buildings,” I say as we enter the common room of east housing two. It’s pretty similar to ours, except much bigger, and they have a self serve coffee bar. Lucky. We stop in front of the elevators and I press the button to call it to us. “What floor are you going to?”<br/>
</p><p>“Sixth,” He says as we hear the faint rumbling of the elevator coming towards us. There’s a ding and the door opens up, both of us filing in.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, wow. Me too,” I say as he presses the button for the sixth floor. The elevator ride up is painfully silent, but I’m getting used to that with Mark. He must really not like me, because I can’t imagine someone being friends with someone who never tries to make conversation. But clearly, if he’s here, he has friends. We get off at the sixth floor and walk down the long hall. I keep waiting for him to stop at a door and for us to part ways, but he keeps walking with me. “Damn what are the odds our friends’ dorms are so close together, huh?” I chuckle, he doesn’t.<br/>
</p><p>“I could do the math for you on that, but I’m not going to,” he said simply, and I purse my lips together with a nod, looking straight ahead and scanning for room 636.<br/>
</p><p>“Right, I forgot. Mr. engineer, you’re probably great at math,” I said, still waiting for him to stop at any moment. Finally I see 636 ahead, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s me. I’ll see you later.” He furrows his brow again and looks at me.<br/>
</p><p>“Wait, what room are you going to?” He asks as we both stop at 636. I point at the door.<br/>
</p><p>“636,” I say, reaching out and knocking.<br/>
</p><p>“But this is where I’m--” Mark is cut off by the door opening, revealing Bob. He smiles at me, then looks at Mark, then back at me. He furrows his brows.<br/>
</p><p>“Wait, you two know each other?” Bob asks, pointing between us.<br/>
</p><p>“<em>You</em> two know each other?” Mark asks, pointing between Bob and me. I try not to feel hurt by the clear disappointment in his voice.<br/>
</p><p>“We’re roommates,” I said to Bob, my hands fidgeting with the hem of my sweater.<br/>
</p><p>“Ah, well what a fuckin’ small world,” Bob says, waving us both in and closing the door behind us. “I met Ethan in Stats.” Wade and a guy with curly hair were sitting on one of the beds, controllers in hand and staring at the TV on the opposite wall.<br/>
</p><p>“Ethan! Hey man what’s up?” Wade glances at me, then back again at Mark. “Oh hey Mark, you know Ethan?”<br/>
</p><p>“That appears to be the case,” Mark says, taking a seat on the unoccupied bed. Bob sits in a rolling desk chair, so that leaves me to sit next to Mark. I try and sit as far away from him on the bed as possible, knowing he isn’t exactly fond of me, or the situation.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, cool!” Wade said with a smile, still focusing on the game, which appeared to be Mortal Kombat. On the desk underneath the TV, there were three different game consoles, which was essentially my heaven. Under the desk, there was a mini fridge, which once Mark reached over and opened it, revealed a variety of canned and bottled alcoholic drinks, along with soda.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh yeah, Ethan this is Tyler. Tyler, Ethan,” Bob said, gesturing back and forth between us. Tyler glanced over with a smile.<br/>
</p><p>“‘Sup,” he nodded, before quickly returning his gaze to the game.<br/>
</p><p>“Ethan, help yourself to anything in the fridge. If you’re under 21, don’t say a damn word about it or the RA will be on my ass,” Bob said, taking a sip of his own beer.<br/>
</p><p>“Thanks,” I chuckled. I was about to lean over Mark, but stopped myself and got up instead, grabbing a White Claw. I sat back down, folding my legs underneath me and popping the can open, taking a generous sip. Luckily because of the other people, it wasn’t so awkward Mark being there. Plus I could keep my eyes on the screen the whole time, thankful I had a place to direct my gaze.<br/>
</p><p>“Aaaand…. BOOM! I win!” Wade exclaimed, holding up his arms in victory. He stuck his tongue out at Tyler, who rolled his eyes with a smile.<br/>
</p><p>“Nobody likes a sore winner,” Tyler chuckled.<br/>
</p><p>“Mmm, pretty sure that’s sore loser,” Bob said, taking a sip. I chuckled, taking another sip as well.<br/>
</p><p>“Oo, look at Mark going for the big boy drink,” Wade commented on the Mike’s Hard Lemonade Mark was holding. Mark flipped him off while taking a sip.<br/>
</p><p>“Let the man drink in peace,” Bob chuckled.<br/>
</p><p>“You don’t usually drink?” I asked, looking at Mark for the first time since we arrived at Bob’s. He shook his head as he took a large sip.<br/>
</p><p>“What’s goin’ on, you take a vow of silence or some shit?” Bob asked Mark with a smile.<br/>
</p><p>“Just tired,” Mark said with a shrug. I was pretty certain that wasn’t true, I think he was just unhappy I was there. I debated leaving for a moment, but honestly fuck that. He doesn’t have to like me, but I want him to get to a point where he can enjoy himself around his friends when I’m there. The only way that’s gonna happen is if he gets used to me.<br/>
</p><p>“He’s just shy because Ethan’s here,” Wade smiled, taking a sip of his beer.<br/>
</p><p>“Am not,” Mark grumbled, drinking more. I did the same.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, c’mon Mark. Quit bein’ a Tyler,” Bob joked. Tyler opened his mouth and looked at Bob with mock offense.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey! I can be… boisterous…” Even Tyler seemed unsure finishing that sentence, deciding to take a sip of his own drink.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, and Wade’s good at video games,” Mark teased, now making it Wade’s turn to be fake offended.<br/>
</p><p>“I just won!” Wade defended himself, making me laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, well, Tyler isn’t good either,” Mark shot back, making Tyler have the same reaction again.<br/>
</p><p>“I come here to have a good time…” Tyler muttered, choosing his character, but he was smiling. I liked the dynamic they all had, no one taking anything too seriously.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey,” Bob said to Tyler, “It’s Ethan’s turn.”<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, yeah, my bad,” Tyler reached over and passed his controller to me. I unfolded my legs to hold my drink in between them.<br/>
</p><p>“Thanks,” I said with a smile, taking the controller.<br/>
</p><p>“So, Ethan. Are you a freshman?” Tyler asked.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, heh,” I said, choosing Kitana. I don’t usually stick to one character, but if I want a chance of doing well I choose Kitana.<br/>
</p><p>“So what’s it like sharing a dorm with Mark? He wake you up doing push ups yet?” Bob asked with a chuckle, making Mark glare at him, again in a way that said it was mostly all fun and games.<br/>
</p><p>“Very funny,” Mark made a face at Bob, taking a sip of his drink.<br/>
</p><p>“Heh, not yet,” I said with a small laugh, mostly focusing on my fight against Wade. “I honestly don’t think I can picture Mark being loud.” This made everyone in the room burst into laughter, except for me and Mark.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, just you wait,” Tyler said with a grin, Wade still chuckling.<br/>
</p><p>“Damn, Mark. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde over here,” Bob laughed.<br/>
</p><p>“What are you talking about? I am typically a quiet person!” Mark defended, his voice going into a higher pitch than I thought it could. This made me snicker a bit.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, if you’re unconscious,” Bob said before finishing his beer and motioning for Mark to pass him another, which he does. Wade laughs at this.<br/>
</p><p>“Mark, the only time you’re quiet is when I’m annoying you in video games,” Wade says, focused on the screen. This fact doesn’t really amuse me, but I try to smile, just focusing on the game. I end up getting so caught up in the fact that this confirms Mark doesn’t like me, that Wade gets in some crucial combos, winning again.<br/>
</p><p>“YES! And I am victorious once again!” Wade cheers.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck, I’m ass at this game,” I said with a breathy laugh, holding out the controller for whoever wants it.<br/>
</p><p>“I vote Wade doesn’t get to go again,” Mark says.<br/>
</p><p>“All those in favor say ‘I’,” Bob says, raising his hand.<br/>
</p><p>“I,” Everyone except Wade and I chorus in. Wade looks around like he’s been betrayed.<br/>
</p><p>“Ethan, from now on you’re the only one I acknowledge here, uh, everyone else is a snake,” Wade says, passing a controller to Bob. We play games for a while, and it’s around then that we all realize we are reasonably tipsy, and decide to play a drinking game.<br/>
</p><p>“Which one should we play?” I ask, Mark passing all of us fresh drinks (all Mike’s Hards, so it’s fair) and I am grateful that we aren’t playing drinking games with pure shots.<br/>
</p><p>“Truth or dare?” Wade offers.<br/>
</p><p>“What are we, in middle school?” Bob says, everyone chuckling.<br/>
</p><p>“Fair,” Wade pauses before adding, “Fair is fair,” everyone but me chuckling, Mark shaking his head.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, yes, Ethan if you didn’t know, that is indeed Mark’s slogan. Soon you will hear it so many times it won’t even sound like words,” Bob said, making me laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“I do not say it that much,” Mark defended, twisting off the cap to his Mike’s without even using his sleeve. I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling to pop mine off.<br/>
</p><p>“Apparently we’ve slipped into an alternate universe where Mark is quiet and doesn’t say ‘fair is fair’ that much,” Wade says, making Bob and Tyler chuckle.<br/>
</p><p>“We could play Two Truths and a Lie?” Tyler offers.<br/>
</p><p>“Meh, kinda hard in a group. Plus that one’s not that fun in my opinion,” Bob says, and I nod my head in agreement.<br/>
</p><p>“There’s this one game I know, it’s a bit long winded to explain but it’s always really fun,” I offer, still struggling with my bottle cap. Mark doesn’t even ask, instead lightly takes the bottle out of my hand, twists off the top in one quick motion, and passes it back. I look at it in defeat before looking at Mark and saying “I loosened it up for you.” This, for the first time ever, makes him genuinely laugh. I can’t help but stare at him with a smile on my face before looking back at my hands, feeling successful.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, let’s hear it,” Bob says. I fold my legs under myself and think for a moment on how to explain it in the least confusing way.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, so the game is called Paranoia,” I say, Wade cutting me off.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh is this like Gay Chicken?” Wade asks genuinely. I burst out laughing.<br/>
</p><p>“No, but thank you for that,” I say after I composed myself.<br/>
</p><p>“So, we need a coin, any coin. We sit in a circle, or something similar to one, and whoever you’re next to asks you a question in your ear. Something like… I dunno, who do you think lasts the shortest amount of time in bed, and your answer has to be someone in the group. So you would say that name out loud--”<br/>
</p><p>“In this case, the answer would be Wade,” Mark says, making everyone but Wade laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck you,” Wade mouths to Mark.<br/>
</p><p>“And then, the person being asked the question calls heads or tails. If it lands on what they call, you don’t have to say the question out loud. So say I asked Mark that, he says Wade, then he calls tails. If we flip the coin and it lands on tails, he’s safe and the question isn’t said aloud. If it lands on heads, though, the group gets to hear the question,” I said, exhaling a short breath after.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, yeah this sounds fun,” Bob says, everyone else nodding. “What’s the drinking aspect?”<br/>
</p><p>“Oh right. If Mark is safe, we all drink. If he has to share the question, only he drinks,” I say.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m down, what way does the circle go?” Tyler asks.<br/>
</p><p>“We can switch the way it goes each round and move around, too. But usually it starts counter-clockwise. So I ask Mark, Mark asks Bob, Bob to Tyler, you get it,” I say, Bob using his feet to scootch his wheelie chair closer to Mark. “Ok whisper in their ear if you’re asking the question and the rest of us will make senseless noise. Who wants to start?”<br/>
</p><p>“Well, it’s your game. I think that means you gotta start,” Bob says, and I roll my eyes with a smile.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok fair--”<br/>
</p><p>“Is fair--” everyone but me and Mark chorus. Mark rolls his eyes, but I see the slightest of smiles on his face.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck that means I need a question, ok gimme a sec,” I say, looking at my lap and trying to think of a question. Well, I can think of a lot of questions I want to ask Mark, like ‘who do you hate in the group’ just so I can know for sure, but maybe let’s not start with the hard hitting questions.<br/>
</p><p>“Wait! Question!” Wade holds up his hand like he’s in class.<br/>
</p><p>“Yes, Wade,” I chuckle and point at him.<br/>
</p><p>“What if your answer is the person who’s asking you the question?” He asks.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, you can either say the truth and then only you and them will know the answer, but the rest of us will still have a chance to know… orrrr if you’re a pussy you can lie and say someone else’s name-- but that’s up to you!” I sit back and hold my hands up in defense.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright, alright, thank you,” Wade says with a little bow. I bow back, smiling.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, I’m gonna start easy, nothin’ too juicy,” I say leaning towards Mark. I hesitate for a moment though, making sure he’s okay with me advancing in on his space. Luckily, he leans in, tucking his hair behind his ear and turning his head to the side. I cup my hands so no one can see, and the rest of the guys start making random noises.<br/>
</p><p>“Who’s dick--” Mark chuckles, making me start to giggle a bit “-- based on appearance and personality, do you think is the biggest?” Mark leans back, looking around at the guys faces as they stop making noises.<br/>
</p><p>“Can I say myself?” He asks, making me burst into a small fit of laughter.<br/>
</p><p>“I barely know you and I assumed you would ask that,” I laugh, making Mark laugh a bit too.<br/>
</p><p>“Well I feel like I know what the question is,” Bob says, making everyone laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“No, for fun’s sake, you cannot say yourself,” I clarify.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Mark nods, smiling slightly. I don’t know what it is, maybe because it’s so hard to get him to laugh, but every time I do or even get the smallest smile out of him, my stomach does small flips.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh… Tyler,” He says, pointing in Tyler’s direction. Tyler raises his brows with a smile.<br/>
</p><p>“If I’m right on what I think the question is, thank you,” he says, making me laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok who’s got the coin?” I ask.<br/>
</p><p>“I have one,” Wade offers, digging around in his pocket until he pulls out a quarter.<br/>
</p><p>“Heads or tails, Mark?” I ask him.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh, heads,” He says.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, heads we don’t say the question, tails we do say the question,” I say, Wade flipping the coin. It falls on the ground, all of us instantly leaning forward to get a look at it.<br/>
</p><p>“Tails!” Bob calls out, holding up the quarter with a huge smile. There were choruses of ‘yes’s from Tyler and Wade. Mark rolled his eyes, but was smiling.<br/>
</p><p>“The question was: who do you think has the biggest dick, based on appearance and personality,” I say, everyone laughing.<br/>
</p><p>“You fucker! As soon as you asked ‘can I say myself’--” Bob mocks Mark in a childish voice “--I knew the question!” Mark was grinning and laughing this deep, bubbling laughter that was honestly infectious. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face if I tried.<br/>
</p><p>“This is fun, I like this game,” Tyler said, his grin also stretching from ear to ear.<br/>
</p><p>“Of course you do, you just got told you have a big dick!” Wade chuckled, making me laugh as well.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, so Mark drinks! Because he had to say the question,” I say.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright, fine,” Mark smiles slightly before bringing the bottle to his lips. “We’re doing big sips right?” He says before drinking, looking around at everyone. I feel a weird hitch in my breath when his eyes linger on mine, but I ignore it.<br/>
</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Bob says at the same time Wade and Tyler say “Yeah,” while I so graciously say “Big sips, babe-ee.” I hope he didn’t take that as me calling him baby. He throws his head back and takes a big swig.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, Mark, ask Bob something, we’ll make senseless noises,” I say, instantly going into mindless gibberish. Wade, Tyler and I were all making random sound effects over each other for a few seconds before they pulled away and we stopped to hear Bob’s answer.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright, uh, Wade,” Bob says with a chuckle, making Mark laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“I would have to agree,” Mark says through his chuckles.<br/>
</p><p>“I swear if this is the ‘who finishes quickest question’...” Wade says with a smile, shaking his head.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, tails,” Bob says, “I really hope we have to say the question out loud,” Bob giggles along with Mark. Bob flips the coin and smacks it on his hand. He removes his palm and him and Mark both shout out “Heads!” in triumph.<br/>
</p><p>“The question was who would get kidnapped, and annoy the kidnapper so much that they let him go,” Mark says through more laughter, making all of us laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“You know, sadly, I would have to agree,” Wade says, smiling.<br/>
</p><p>“Wait, fuck, that means I drink right?” Bob asks, and I nod. He takes a swig and now it’s Tyler’s turn to be asked by Bob. Mark, Wade and I make a bunch of noise while Bob scoots himself to whisper in Tyler’s ear.<br/>
</p><p>“Okay, uh…” Tyler looks around the room, eyes landing on me. “Ethan. Man I really hope this one doesn’t get read allowed.”<br/>
</p><p>“Oooo, saucy,” I say, eyebrows raised.<br/>
</p><p>“Heads,” Tyler says, Bob flipping the coin and catching it in his hand again. He uncovers his hand and calls out “Tails!” Tyler groans.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m sorry Ethan, please don’t be weirded out,” Tyler is blushing and laughing nervously, which makes me blush and laugh nervously.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh boy,” I smile, “I am not making that promise,” I start laughing, but decide to clarify just in case. “I’m just kiddin’” I wave my hand, “It takes a lot to weird me out.”<br/>
</p><p>“The question was, gun to your head, if you had to kiss somebody in the room, who would it be,” Bob says, a school-boyish smile creeping across his face as he giggles. Everyone laughs, me as well, but I cut through the laughter to assure Tyler.<br/>
</p><p>“Honestly, I’m flattered,” I say, putting a hand to my chest dramatically.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, Wade come here,” Tyler says, leaning over to Wade. We all start making noise, me plugging my ears as well since I was right next to them.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh, Bob, and I hope we say this question out loud,” Wade says, Tyler and him giggling.<br/>
</p><p>“Can we say it out loud even if he’s safe?” Tyler asks.<br/>
</p><p>“See, I wanna say yes,” I say, Mark and Bob shaking their heads, “But no, because then we might as well just ask each other these questions.”<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, god Tyler, do you want us to look like FOOLS?” Bob exclaimed, making us all laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Wade, heads or tails?” I ask, still chuckling a bit.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh… tails!” He calls, Bob flipping the coin once again.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck! Dammit! It’s tails!” Bob yells, all of us groaning, even Wade and Tyler.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh that would’ve been so good, we need to kill his ego,” Tyler says, sharing a smile with Wade.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey,” Mark says, obviously trying not to smile, “I have a sneaking suspicion that was aimed at me and I do not appreciate it.”<br/>
</p><p>“Hey, listen man, we didn’t mention your name,” Wade put his hands up in defense, chuckling. “If you’re assumin’ that, that’s all on you.” I can’t help but laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, Mark, why don’t you project a little more,” Bob says through a chuckle, once again making me laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, everyone except Wade drinks,” I say, all of us minus Wade taking a big sip.<br/>
</p><p>“Finally, some alcohol for the rest of us, goddamn,” Bob says after he finishes sipping.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, Wade-ee boy, ask me a question,” I say, holding the bottle between my folded legs and slapping my thighs. This makes everyone in the room laugh, which wasn’t my intention, but it brings a smile to my face. Especially when I glance to the side and see Mark laughing.Wade leans in and cups my ear, the rest of the guys starting their normal loudness to make sure they don’t hear.<br/>
</p><p>“Who do you think is most attractive in the group?” Wade whispers to me, and I instantly start blushing.<br/>
</p><p>“Well no matter who I pick I’ll feel bad!” I exclaim as I pull away, Wade and I laughing to each other.<br/>
</p><p>“Doesn’t matter!” Wade laughs.<br/>
</p><p>“Them's the rules, man,” Bob says, and I roll my eyes, smile not left my lips. I know my answer, but I’m not gonna say it immediately. Everyone goes quiet for my answer.<br/>
</p><p>“Hmmm…” I tap my finger to my chin, looking around the room and pretending to inspect each person. I land on Mark, but the way he raises his eyebrows at me, and that slight smile he has on, I don’t let myself look too long, for fear of blushing even more.<br/>
</p><p>“Mark,” I say, looking at Wade when I say it, so there’s less chance of Mark noticing what blush is already present. “Heads.” I can’t help but fiddle with my bottle and my jeans as we wait for the coin to flip. For some reason it felt like this one was in the air forever, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears the whole time.<br/>
</p><p>“Heads,” Wade says and I let out a huge sigh of relief, burying my face in my hand for a moment. “You’re safe, we drink.”<br/>
</p><p>“Dammit,” Mark hisses with a smile before joining us in taking a sip.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck, I haven’t been thinking of a question this entire time,” I say, realizing it’s my turn to ask Mark something.<br/>
</p><p>“Wait, wait, we should switch to clockwise, Ethan’s asked me a question,” Mark says, and all of us chorus our agreement. I tilt my head and lean in, ignoring the shiver down my spine when Mark cups his hand around my ear and I feel his breath fan over my skin. His low, rumbling, whispering voice so scarily intoxicating I almost can’t make out what he’s saying. My heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. I’m not sure why he makes me feel this way, but I assume it’s because he’s finally getting more comfortable with me, even if it’s just a little.<br/>
</p><p>“Who, life or death situation, would you fuck-- slash be fucked by-- in this room? All consensual of course,” He asks and I immediately feel myself go bright red. My eyes widen and my mouth hangs open a bit as we pull away and the guys stop making noise.<br/>
</p><p>“Y’all are giving me the most embarrassing questions I feel targeted,” I laugh, before looking down at my hands. “And I have to tell the truth?” I look up at Mark with sad eyes, and he just chuckles and nods.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey, you’re the one who said you’re a pussy if you lie,” Bob said, everyone laughing at this, including me.<br/>
</p><p>“I did say that, that’s fair,” I said, and before anyone could mock him for it, like a reflex, Mark says “Fair is fair,” before catching himself and widening his eyes. We all burst out into laughter.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, c’mon! That’s the first time I’ve said it all night!” He defends, a grin on his face as he laughs along.<br/>
</p><p>“Ughhhh, okay let me think,” I say with a roll of my eyes as I pretend to inspect people’s faces again, knowing what my answer is. I debate just saying Tyler, because that would be an honest second choice, but the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed in the last hour and a half has definitely caught up to me, and I can’t find it in myself to back down. “You know what? Fuck it, I choose Mark. And tails,” I say, looking at him with a challenging face. His mouth falls open, and this is the first time I’ve seen him caught off guard.<br/>
</p><p>“Er-- I-- well okay that’s your answer! No take backs and I won’t say anything else as to not give away the question flip the coin Bob!” He says that last part all in one quick run.<br/>
</p><p>“Did he ask you the same question I just asked you?” Wade asks me with a chuckle.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey! That’s cheating!” Bob says, pointing at Wade and making me laugh.<br/>
</p><p>“No, he didn’t, but yes that’s considered cheating,” I answer Wade.<br/>
Once again it feels like a lifetime before the coin is called, and ringing in my ears takes over as silence fills the room and we wait. I close my eyes, too scared to look.<br/>
</p><p>“Please be tails, please be tails, please be tails,” I chant to myself, crossing my fingers.<br/>
</p><p>“Fuck! It’s tails!” Bob calls out everyone but Mark and me groaning, me cheering in glee.<br/>
</p><p>“OH! God is good, baby,” I cry out. “And ya know what, I’m gonna drink with you,” I say, taking a celebratory chug with them. Honestly I needed more alcohol in my system to forget I just admitted to Mark I’d fuck him. Or he would fuck me? Who would top? My face goes bright red as I picture either scenario and quickly stop. “Do not tell, a soul,” I say, pointing my finger at Mark and taking another drink. He laughs as he watches me.<br/>
</p><p>“I won’t, I won’t,” He shakes his head as he takes an extra sip, smiling to himself. We finish that rotation and then decide to switch spots so we all aren’t sitting next to someone we were sitting next to before. We play one round counter clockwise in our new positions before switching to clockwise. The questions were getting pretty good, but I was beginning to lose interest. That was, until Tyler asks Mark a question, and he looks directly into my eyes and says<br/>
</p><p>“Ethan.” He says, and I know that instantly the blush spreads from my cheeks, to my ears, and down my neck.<br/>
</p><p>“Damn, Ethan, alcohol must really make you blush, man” Bob teases with a smile, I laugh but instantly cover my face.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, totally,” I laugh along so I feel less awkward.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, I hope we gotta say this one,” Tyler says, now the coin flipper.<br/>
</p><p>“You know, I really don’t agree,” Mark says with a chuckle, and I can’t tell if I agree with Tyler or Mark. It’s gonna drive me crazy if I don’t know, but if it’s anything sexual… I might actually burst into flames. “What do you call, Mark?”<br/>
</p><p>“Uh, Heads,” He says, taking a sip of his drink anyway. The coin flip goes in slow motion again, my heart beating faster and faster in my ears.<br/>
</p><p>“Damn, it’s heads,” Tyler says, throwing his head back in defeat.<br/>
</p><p>“Yes,” Mark whispers triumphantly.<br/>
</p><p>“I don’t know whether to be happy or disappointed,” I say, finishing off my drink with a final gulp.<br/>
</p><p>“With the way you’re already blushing I’d say happy,” Tyler chuckles, making me, surprise, blush even harder.<br/>
</p><p>“Hey! Shut up! Don’t give away the question,” Mark laughs, swatting at Tyler’s arm, who keeps cackling.<br/>
</p><p>“I think you saying that gives away the question more than what he said,” Wade chuckles.<br/>
</p><p>“ANYWAY,” Mark cuts in loudly, “I believe you all have to drink. And then Ethan and I should get back, it’s almost curfew and I got a morning class,” Mark says, Wade, Tyler, and Bob chorusing in with a loud “OOOOOO.” Do I even need to say that I was tomato red by now?<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, quiet,” Mark says as he stands up, staggering a little. I stand as well and do a scan of the room for anything I might have left, not bothering to take another drink because I finished my last one, and opening another would be a waste. Not that I need more alcohol anyway, I don’t drink that frequently, and we’ve been drinking for awhile now so I was successfully drunk.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright fellas, thanks for having me, it was fun,” I say heading towards the door. Bob, Wade, and Tyler all share their goodbyes.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, Tyler lives here, but Wade are you sleeping on the floor or heading back to your apartment?” Bob asks.<br/>
</p><p>“I’ll sleep on the floor, I’m too drunk to drive and I’m not walking all the way to the single living area,” Wade says, pulling out a blanket and pillow from one of the dressers. It was obvious this was somewhat routine for them.<br/>
</p><p>We said our goodnights and soon Mark and I were walking back in the brisk breeze, the streetlamps not doing much to light our way. Luckily I didn’t really feel cold because I was too drunk. It was silent for a moment, and all I could think about was the look Mark gave me when he said my name. What was the question? I know what I think it was, but I don’t want to assume wrong, and frankly I can’t see me being the answer to that.<br/>
</p><p>“So,” This was the first time Mark has ever broken a silence between us, and I tried not to jump for joy. “What was the question you answered me for? In the first round, when we couldn’t get to hear it?” He asks, and I chuckle.<br/>
</p><p>“Ah, I can’t say, can I?” I smile smugly at him. “That would be cheating.”<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, c’mon, it’s not cheating if the game is over,” He reasons.<br/>
</p><p>“True, but I don’t have to tell you,” I smirked at him.<br/>
</p><p>“What, are you gonna make me beg?” Mark asks, and I ignore the flip it makes my stomach do.<br/>
</p><p>“No,” I say matter of factly, “You can if you want, though, but it won’t make me tell you.”<br/>
</p><p>“What if I tell you the question Tyler asked me?” He offers after a moment of silence. I think about it for a moment.<br/>
</p><p>“Mmmm, only if you go first,” I decide.<br/>
</p><p>“Ah, no, no, no. Then you just won’t tell me,” Mark laughs. I let out a noise of offense, putting my hand to my heart.<br/>
</p><p>“I am a man of my word, Mark,” I say with a chuckle.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, so am I,” he adds back.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, fine. But if I tell you first, and you don’t tell me, you have to show me the games you have on your PC, ANDDD buy me lunch,” I wager, and he just chuckles.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, deal,” He says, extending his hand for me to shake as we walk. I look at his hand, then to his face, then at his hand while I shake it.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, Wade asked me,” I hesitate before continuing, “who I thought was most attractive in the group, and I said you.” I looked at my feet, smiling in an attempt to seem nonchalant, but really I felt like my mind was on fire.<br/>
</p><p>“That’s it? I mean I could’ve assumed that from the question I asked you!” He laughs, and I groan, shoving my face into my hands.<br/>
</p><p>“God I forgot about that. That was definitely when I was at my peak level of drunkenness,” I say, glad that it was too dark to see my god forsaken blush. I swear my blushing might as well make me Pinocchio, I can’t get away with shit. “Regardless! You have to tell me what Tyler asked you.”<br/>
</p><p>“Oh but his question was so much worse!” He laughs, me joining in.<br/>
</p><p>“Doesn’t matter! It can’t be worse then what you asked me!” I said, then defended myself now that I could. “Which by the way, I was just giving an objective answer, Tyler was a close second.”<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, but he wasn’t good enough to be first, was he?” Mark asks smugly, and I roll my eyes.<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, what did Tyler ask you?” I prodded, not dropping it.<br/>
</p><p>“Mmmm…” Mark thought long and hard, the silence deafening.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, c’mon you’re killing me!” I pleaded. “I won’t make it weird I promise! It’s just a game,” I whined, a smile firmly plastered to my face that I couldn’t remove if I tried.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, but Tyler’s weird,” Mark said through a chuckle, making me laugh hard. “He asks weird questions.”<br/>
</p><p>“Ok, so I’ll keep in mind that Tyler is the weird one here, not you,” I said, looking at him. He was looking down at his feet, an almost embarrassed smile on his face. It was a weird emotion to see on Mark, having been such a confident, stone-faced person pre booze.<br/>
</p><p>“Fine, fine,” He said with a roll of his eyes, meeting my gaze for a brief moment before looking back at his feet as we walked. “Tyler asked me... “<br/>
</p><p>“Stop stalling!” I laughed after multiple seconds had passed, bumping his shoulder lightly with mine.<br/>
</p><p>“Alright, alright!” He said, laughing but still not looking at me, whereas my eyes were glued to his face, searching for expressions. “He asked me, who I would have--” He begins using air quotes after each word “‘rough, hot, passionate, kinky sex’ with-- THOSE WERE HIS EXACT WORDS AND NOT MINE!” Mark defended when I started giggling like a maniac.<br/>
</p><p>“You’re right,” I said after I finally calmed down, ignoring the raging machine inside my stomach that was simultaneously causing my heart to race. Even if I weren’t drunk, the heat from my blush would keep me warmer than a campfire right now.”That is worse than either of my questions.”<br/>
</p><p>“See!” Mark exclaimed as we neared our housing. “I feel like you should buy me lunch!” I laughed at that, both of us quieting down into whispers as we entered our building.<br/>
</p><p>“While that was not the deal,” I said, looking at him, “I agree to these new terms. And I guess, thank you?” I chuckled after that, not sure if I should be thanking him.<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, man, don’t tell another soul or whatever you said,” Mark said, and now that we were in the light of the common room, I could see that he was blushing furiously as well.<br/>
</p><p>“Damn, Mark,” I said in a deep, goofy voice, mocking Bob, “Alcohol really makes you blush, man.” We snickered as we got into the elevator, him playfully pushing me a bit.<br/>
</p><p>“Shut up,” He laughed, no venom or coldness behind his words. Then, he added with a pout-like expression. “It actually does, so don’t flatter yourself.”<br/>
</p><p>“Uh-huh, whatever makes you sleep tonight, bud,” I say, grinning to myself. We stood in the elevator in silence, both of us grinning--him at the floor and me at the ceiling, but this silence isn't awkward. Maybe it’s just the alcohol, but it’s really pleasant. “So, are you gonna go back to not talking to me tomorrow?” I whisper as we get off the elevator.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, definitely,” He says, and at first I think he’s serious, but then I look at his face to see he’s already smiling at me. We both look away. I would say I blushed, but I think that’s just my permanent state now. We get to our door and I fumble with my keys, cursing under my breath when I drop them from the lock, and cursing a bit more when I can’t get the door unlocked.<br/>
</p><p>“Man, you really are bad with locks,” He whispers with a faint chuckle, and then does something that sends an electric current through my whole body. He puts his hand over mine, the one gripping the key, and turns the lock for me. I’ve never done cocaine, but I’d imagine this is what doing a line would feel like. We stumble into our dorm as quietly as we can, closing the door softly behind us, only my bedside lamp lighting up the room. I plop down on my bed with a grunt.<br/>
</p><p>“God, I’m not looking forward to going to class with a hangover,” I groan. I look over at Mark, and if I had miraculously stopped blushing, it was definitely back full force. He was already shirtless, undoing his belt and pants buttons. Staring down at me.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, here. I brought this,” he said, turning away to grab something from inside his dresser. He pulls out one of the biggest Brita filters I have ever seen, filled with water. He pulls out two refillable water bottles, and fills both of them up, walking over and handing me one. “Drink up.”<br/>
</p><p>“Wow, he’s hot and environmentally friendly,” I chuckle, embarrassment instantly flooding me after I said it. “Forget I said that, you don’t need the ego boost,” I wave with one hand as I take the bottle with the other. I unscrew the cap and chug as much water as I can without getting sick, saving the rest for the morning.<br/>
</p><p>“What can I say, I’m the whole package,” He smirks and gestures to his body. I roll my eyes.<br/>
</p><p>“Definitely didn’t need the ego boost,” I mutter as I set the water bottle on the desk next to my bed.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, c’mon, can’t a guy have some self love anymore?” He pouts at me before finally pushing off his jeans, leaving him in just his boxers. Maybe I was tired, or drunk, or maybe both, but my reaction time wasn’t as quick as I’d hoped. I ended up practically ogling him, his stomach, the way his boxers rested just below his hips, exposing his angular hip bones. His muscular thighs, his.... Okay definitely staring too long. I snap my head away and shut my jaw, which had fallen slightly open without me realizing. I decide it’s probably time I get changed as well, so as he relaxes onto his bed, not bothering to put on more clothes, I stand up and hike my shirt up over my head. I didn’t even realize he was staring at me at first.<br/>
</p><p>“No offense, but I never would have guessed you had abs,” He says, just staring at my stomach. I feel my whole body heat up.<br/>
</p><p>“Uh… thanks? A bit backhanded but I’ll take it,” I laugh, unbuckling my belt and pushing off my pants. I still feel his eyes on me as I pull out a shirt to sleep in and sweat shorts. I turned around and he was staring right at my ass. I heat up even more. I raise an eyebrow at him and he looks up at me, and shakes his head a little.<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, what? You can stare me down but I can’t return the favor? Noted,” He laughs. If it were possible, I turned even more red. After I put my sleep clothes on, I jumped into my bed with a sigh.<br/>
</p><p>“Fair is fair,” I muttered sleepily.<br/>
</p><p>“Don’t you start with that, too,” He says from his bed, a yawn following his words.<br/>
</p><p>“Can’t help it. ‘S funny,” I grumble, yawning as well. I turn off my bedside lamp and lie back. Even though I can barely keep my eyes open, all I can think about is what Tyler asked him, and how he said me. Just then, I have to stop myself from cursing and turn so my back is facing Mark. I must be severely touch deprived, because my face was no longer the only part of my body heating up at the thought. What bad timing. I’m not going to pretend I think I’m straight, I know I’m not. Not completely at least. But I can’t go having these thoughts about not only my roommate, but someone I just met a matter of days ago. And someone who has only really started talking to me within the past few hours. And someone who is most likely straight. Plenty of men admire other men’s bodies and are straight, him staring at me doesn’t mean anything. Him answering me for a question in some silly game doesn’t mean anything. I mean, I’m the person he knows the least, so it would probably be less weird to do that with me than his buddies he’s known for who knows how long.<br/>
</p><p>That’s a question I wanted to ask him, how did he know Bob, Wade, and Tyler so well? Did he meet them his first year in college? Or did he know them before he started? I thought about asking now, but I didn’t want to wake him if he was already asleep or about to fall asleep. I guess it will have to wait until I take him out to lunch.<br/>
</p><p>That thought alone left me falling asleep with a smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading! as u can probably tell, im a fan of long chapters. hope u enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sunflowers and Coffee</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ethan keeps his promise and takes Mark out to lunch. A bit shorter of a chapter :p<br/>TW: so this trigger warning is kind of hard to describe. it doesn't involve Mark and Ethan directly, but they are commenting on a movie they're watching, which depicts a husband trying to engage in kinky sex with his wife, who is not really that into it. She asks to stop, but he keeps playing the role (not for long though, thank god.) I tried to keep the details minimal! Nothing too graphic. Also quick mention of blood (also for the movie.) Mild spoilers for Gerald's Game (on Netflix) but nothing major as I tried to keep those spoilers to a minimum as well! read at your own comfort :)<br/>also TW for food and descriptions of eating. im not sure if it's enough to trigger someone, so i thought i would be safe rather than sorry!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to my alarm going off, making me jolt and scramble to stop the horrid sound. Once I silence my phone, I lay back down, rub my eyes and groan.</p><p>“Not a morning person I take it?” I jump at the words, but settle when I realize it’s just Mark. I smile sleepily at him.</p><p>“Not really,” I cover my mouth when I yawn.</p><p>“Do you have nightmares, or something?” Mark asked me, grabbing a shower towel.</p><p>“No, not usually,” I furrow my brow at him, “Why?”</p><p>“You were moaning and groaning, tossing and turning all night,” He said, and instantly I busy myself with standing up and making my bed, to hide the heat rising to my face. My dreams last night definitely weren’t bad.</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” I say. “Did I keep you up?”</p><p>“Not really,” He says with a shrug when I spare a glance over my shoulder. I look away when I see the small smile on his lips, like he’s in on a secret I don’t know about. I instantly repress the idea that he might have known the nature of my dreams, because if I allowed my head to go there I might die of embarrassment. I look down and let out a sigh of relief. At least I didn’t wake up hard. I head to my dresser and grab a change of clothes, a towel, and my shower caddy. Mark stops before leaving.</p><p>“What is that?” He asks, pointing to my shower caddy. I look down at it, then back at him.</p><p>“It’s my shower caddy,” I say simply, grabbing my keys. He chuckles slightly before opening the door, both of us exiting.</p><p>“Of course you have a shower caddy,” he says, humor light on his lips.</p><p>“What? They’re very useful,” I say, walking beside him as we head for the showers. “I have my shampoo, my conditioner, body wash, face wash, moisturizer, and my loofah-- everything I need in one little holder,” I point at each bottle and the scrubby pouf as I explain.</p><p>“No, yeah, very useful,” He says, a small smile still not having left his lips.</p><p>“Better than a Ziploc bag,” I say, nodding at the big Ziploc bag of soaps he was carrying in his hand.</p><p>“It gets the job done,” He defends. We get to the showers, and luckily they’re fully concealed. I don’t think I could handle showering next to Mark if they were only those weird little half walls and a shower head. At that point why even put up the walls? Someone can just look over it. I step into the shower and draw the curtain, finishing in only a few minutes. I dry off and pull on my underwear before stepping out, resting my things on the counter where the sinks are to get dressed. I see in the mirror Mark step out a few moments later, and I can’t help but stare at the towel hanging loosely around his hips, his body still a little shimmery from water. I look at his face, and we make eye contact through the mirror, making my heart race. Then, my breath hitches, and I can’t stop the small squeak that escapes my body when he drops his towel and finishes drying off. My face is on fucking fire so I look down at the counter, focusing on getting my shirt on. I throw my sleep clothes on top of my shower caddy once I finish getting dressed, slinging my towel over my shoulder. I make a move to leave, but Mark speaks up.</p><p>“Wow, you’re not gonna wait for your buddy?” Mark says with a chuckle, making me stop and back against the counter.</p><p>“Oh, s-sorry,” I stammer out, staring directly at the ground.</p><p>“I’m joking, but seriously I didn’t bring my keys. I’m locked out if you leave,” He says, and I can’t make myself choke out a response. So I just wait, leaning against the counter. I’m not looking at him, but I can feel him looking at me, which makes my face heat up even more. He didn’t bring a change of clothes, so he just wraps his towel around his waist again, grabbing the shirt and shorts he wore to the shower and his Ziploc bag. He walks oddly close to me, which makes me finally meet his eyes. “You ready?” He asks in a low, quiet voice that makes me swallow hard.</p><p>“Yeah,” I say as casually as I can, heading for the door. We walk back to the room and he begins to get dressed. I grab my stuff for the day, throwing my bag over my shoulder. “See ya later,” I say, not looking at him as I leave, for the fear that he was once again naked.</p><p>The whole walk and a solid part of my Video Production class I was thinking about Mark. How is he so comfortable being naked around me? Not like I saw anything, really. I looked away too quickly. But it was almost like he was challenging me. To what though? Not blush? I have no idea. I’ve come to the conclusion that I think I’m more confused by Mark now that he is talking to me. Before at least I was pretty positive he just didn’t like me, but now I couldn’t pin down how he feels about me at all. I don’t think he has feelings for me, I’m still pretty sure he’s straight, but his actions towards me only make sense if I look at them in the light that he is into me. But that just can’t be the case, I don’t think I could wrap my head around that. Not the whole gay thing, like I said I’m not straight, but him specifically being interested in me… or even him being gay. Obviously I wouldn’t care if he was, but it’s hard for me to picture it.</p><p>Although a lot of his actions would point to that being the case… I let out a groan and ran my hands through my hair. I’m sitting under a tree in the quad, having finished all my classes today. Today was my ‘fun day,’ too, and I couldn’t even pay attention because of stupid Mark. Though what I did manage to pay attention to seemed pretty interesting, but they were all classes actually pertaining to my major, so I kind of expected that. Then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.</p><p>
  <strong>Mark: I believe you owe me a lunch</strong>
</p><p>I chuckle before replying:</p><p>
  <strong>It’s nearly 4 PM… but we can make it an early dinner :) have any place in mind?</strong>
</p><p>I put my phone down on the grass, crossing my legs underneath me and pressing my hands to my lips, trying not to grin like an idiot. Almost instantly he responds.</p><p>
  <strong>Mark: Yeah, but I know you’ll get lost if I don’t walk you there</strong>
</p><p>I laugh a bit at that, knowing he’s probably right.</p><p>
  <strong>Fair is fair. Where do you want to meet?</strong>
</p><p>He responds even quicker this time, with an answer that puzzles me.</p><p>
  <strong>Mark: Look up</strong>
</p><p>I do as he says, and I spot him just a few paces away, headed toward me. He gives me a small wave, and I smile as I stand up, grabbing my bag. I do a jumpy walk to cross the rest of the space between us, greeting him with a smile.</p><p>“Stalking me now?” I ask, making him chuckle.</p><p>“It’s hard not to spot you when you’re the only one who sits so goofy,” He says, making it my turn to chuckle.</p><p>“I’m gonna ignore that,” I say, following beside him as he begins to walk, “So where are we going?”</p><p>“Just a cafe nearby,” He said, leading me off campus.</p><p>“Is it that one with all the sunflowers?” I ask.</p><p>“Yeah, actually, how’d you know?” He asks me.</p><p>“I went there with my mom on move-in day and it’s in this direction,” I shrugged. “Do you like it there?”</p><p>“Wouldn’t know, haven’t been in,” Mark said, making me look at him quizzically.</p><p>“Why’d you choose there, then?” I ask. He shrugs.</p><p>“It reminded me of you,” He says simply, causing me to look down at my feet to hide my smile. God, if only he weren’t straight. And my roommate. I suppose that could get messy. No, I need to stop thinking down that path, I barely even fucking know him.</p><p>We walk in silence until we reach the cafe, but it’s no longer awkward, just a pleasant silence as we enjoy the outdoors. We walk in and take a seat at an empty table near a window, as far from other people as possible. Luckily, it wasn’t too busy. Not many people coming to a cafe at 4 PM. I open my menu, Mark doing the same.</p><p>“What’s good here?” Mark asked me.</p><p>“Well, I’ve only been once, but the club sandwich is pretty good,” I said, scanning the menu for maybe a new item to try. We both order when a waiter comes by, him getting the club sandwich, me getting the breaded mac and cheese, and both of us getting lattes.</p><p>“So, how do you know Wade, Bob, and Tyler so well?” I ask, sipping my latte, which arrived pretty quickly.</p><p>“Well, Tyler and I have known each other since we were little, and stayed friends throughout high school. That’s where I met Bob and Wade, and miraculously we all ended up going to the same college,” He says, also taking a sip of his coffee.</p><p>“Oh, wow that’s really cool,” I said, then chuckled when he pulled his lips away from his latte, revealing only half of a foam mustache. “You got somethin’,” I said, pointing at my own face. He, of course, wiped the wrong side of his face, making me roll my eyes with a smile. “Nope, still there,” I said. He wiped the other side, but the bottom of his mouth.</p><p>“Am I good?” He asks.</p><p>“No,” I chuckle, shaking my head.</p><p>“Wanna help me out?” He raises his eyebrows at me, gesturing to his face. Ironically, he gestured to where the mustache was, so he could’ve just wiped it off. I rolled my eyes but obliged anyway, looking around for a napkin.</p><p>“Hang on I don’t have a napkin,” I said, but he stopped me before I got up with a wave.</p><p>“It’s fine, just use your hands. I’m clean,” he said with a smirk.</p><p>“Funny thing about that, is currently you’re not,” I laughed, but reached my thumb forward anyway, him leaning slightly forward. I brushed my thumb across his upper lip, cupping his chin slightly with my pointer finger to steady his head. It might have been my imagination-- probably was my imagination-- but I swear he leaned into my touch. I pulled away slower than I would’ve liked, but I got caught up staring in his eyes. He just stared back at me, not pulling a face or even raising his eyebrow as if to ask what I was looking at.</p><p>“Am I good?” He said in a quiet, deep voice, still holding my gaze. I gulped.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” was all I said. The waiter approached us with our food and I instantly leaned back, Mark leaning back slightly slower. We thanked the waiter and began to dig in. “Mmmm,” I moaned in delight, “The mac and cheese is amazing,” I said, shoveling more in my mouth.</p><p>“This sandwich is pretty good, too, you were right,” He said, taking big bites of the sandwich. His mouth doesn’t look like it should be able to open that big. I blush at my own thought.</p><p>“Want some?” I asked, gesturing to the mac and cheese.</p><p>“Sure,” He says, leaning forward and opening his mouth. I chuckle, expecting that he was going to feed himself, but oblige anyway. I place the spoon in his mouth, and he wraps his lips around it slowly, looking up at me slightly so he’s making eye contact. I blush even harder as he slowly pulls his lips off the spoon, leaving it empty. He has to be doing that on purpose, I mean, c’mon! Must be some weird joke. I roll my eyes and go back to eating my food.</p><p>“What’s that?” He asks, pointing at the metal bracelet around my wrist.</p><p>“Oh, my medical alert bracelet,” I say, glancing at it. “One five hundredth of a peanut could kill me--” My eyes widen, “Wait, you haven’t had anything with peanuts recently have you?”</p><p>“No, don’t really like peanuts,” He says, furrowing his brows at me. “Why?”</p><p>“We shared a spoon, and if you had it could have killed me,” I say casually, but I feel fine, so he must be right. “I can’t even kiss people without asking if they’ve had peanuts before. If you think your first kiss was bad, at least you didn’t have to stop and ask the girl if she’s had peanuts before,” I chuckle, him as well.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind before our next make-out session,” He jokes (I think, I laugh like it’s a joke anyway, hoping he didn’t notice how red I went.)</p><p>“Wouldn’t ‘next’ imply that we have before?” I chuckled.</p><p>“If we’re going by third grade rules, sharing a spoon is indirect kissing,” He said matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Ah, yes, sorry I forgot this is one giant elementary school,” I smiled, which he returned. We finish eating and head out of the cafe, walking back to our dorms.</p><p>“Do you have any more classes today?” Mark asks, walking close enough to me that our shoulders bump when our arms swing with our steps.</p><p>“No, thank god,” I shake my head, “You?”</p><p>“Nope. Do you wanna watch a movie or something when we get back?” Mark’s words take me so off guard I literally stop walking, mouth hanging open like a fish. “I’m sorry, I meant to ask you if you wanted to watch a movie, but by your reaction I’m guessing I accidentally asked if you want to come with me to a bukkake party,” Mark says, which would have made me laugh harder if I wasn’t so caught off guard.</p><p>“Sorry, no-- I mean yes!” I recover when he actually looks mildly hurt for a second. “Yes, we should watch a movie,” I start walking again. “It’s just weird, I thought you hated me the first few days, but now we’re actually friends.”</p><p>“I didn’t hate you,” Mark says. “I thought you were annoying, sure,” I nodded to the side in agreement. That’s understandable. “I honestly just don’t like putting much effort into making new friends.”</p><p>“So, I wore you down?” I asked with a smile. Mark chuckled.</p><p>“Yes, you wore me down.”</p><p>“What movie do you wanna watch? We can use my laptop so we can sit on a bed, probably more comfortable than trying to squeeze into your one desk chair,” I offered.</p><p>“Not if you sit on my lap, but you’re probably right,” I shoved down the feelings that bubbled inside my stomach when he said that. “Probably for the best you didn’t bring your own desk chair, by the way, our room is cramped enough as it is.”</p><p>“Yeah, also, they make it seem like dorms are much bigger in TV shows,” I say, getting side tracked. “I feel like we should get some compensation for general… false… knowledge,” I couldn’t really find the right words, but I guess what I said was funny, because Mark began to laugh.</p><p>“Ya know, I don’t think we can sue for ‘general false knowledge’,” He air quoted me, “But I’ll ask Bob.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure we can,” I joked. “Anyway, what movie?”</p><p>“Uh… how about something scary? Do you like horror?” He asks.</p><p>“Yeah, of course. We’ll see whatever seems best and is cheapest slash free,” I said as we entered our building. Once we entered our room, I set my bag down and pulled out my laptop. “Your bed or mine?” I asked.</p><p>“Mine, the glare from the window on your bed will be annoying,” He says, sitting on his bed so his legs were stretched out, his back against the wall.</p><p>“Smart thinking, Mr. Engineer,” I said, plopping down next to him, sure to give him plenty of room.</p><p>“Wait, let me close the curtains. Do you want a blanket? It’s kind of cold in here,” Mark asks when he gets up.</p><p>“Yeah I’m actually kind of freezing,” I say, shivering a bit and pulling the sleeves of my hoodie down.</p><p>“I run hot and I’m cold, so I can imagine,” He says, drawing the drapes and pulling out a fluffy, folded blanket from his dresser.</p><p>“You run hot?” I asked with disbelieving raised eyebrows.</p><p>“Yes. I have good circulation,” He says, and I can’t hold back the laughter that erupts out of me. He looked at me quizzically, which made me laugh more.</p><p>“Oh, you’re serious,” I say through chuckles.</p><p>“Yes,” He says, a smile tugging on his lips.</p><p>“I’m not sure that's a thing,” I say with another chuckle, moving my laptop to his pillow so we could stretch out the blanket. This is when he sits down, plopping himself so close to me our legs are touching a bit, but not pressed up against each other. Luckily, I think I manage to fight off the blush this time. Honestly, I wish I had gotten a less attractive roommate. I know if Mark didn’t look the way he did, I probably wouldn’t get flustered at all. I’ve decided to chalk up all the weird things Mark makes me feel to one thing: hot people just make me nervous. No weird, schoolboy crush on a practical stranger, even if we were seeming to become friends.</p><p>“Sure it is,” He makes a face that says ‘how could you not know such a common thing?’ I let it go, just smiling to myself as I pull the laptop onto my lap and log in.</p><p>“Well, you definitely run hot, whatever the reason. You’re like a personal heater,” I chuckle, feeling his warmth radiating onto me under the blanket.
</p><p>“Whatever the reason…” He grumbles to himself with a slight shake of my head. “Anyway, what movie are we watching?”</p><p>“I dunno. We can watch whatever. Wade recommended me this scary movie that’s apparently pretty decent,” I said, pulling up Netflix. “More of a psychological horror movie rather than your typical jump scare stuff, according to him.”</p><p>“Sounds, good. What’s the synopsis?” He asks as I type in the name of the movie.</p><p>“Uh,” I lean in to read the small text. “‘A woman accidentally kills her husband during a kinky game--” I instantly burst into a fit of giggles, Mark laughing harder than I’ve seen him laugh. He threw his head back slightly, his eyes squeezing shut as laughter poured out of him.</p><p>“I don’t even need to hear the rest, just play it,” he says as his laughter dies down. “Of course Wade recommended this to you,” We both chuckle at his after thought, the opening credits rolling in.</p><p>“Between Tyler’s question and Wade’s movie recommendations, I gotta say, sounds like your friends know how to have a good time,” I say with a laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, ya know, they really do,” Mark says with a smile, a chuckle still faint in his voice. I shift the laptop over so it’s resting on one of each of our legs, so Mark could see better.</p><p>“Damn, I’m surprised how dark those curtains get the room,” I say, already getting a little jittery from the darkness. “Must be blackout curtains.” The beginning of the movie played out, and honestly the old man was giving me the heebie jeebies anyway. “This movie is creepy enough if it were just this old white man trying to get her to do kinky sex stuff for two hours,” I commented in an attempt to tone down my uneasiness, making Mark laugh. I still feel successful whenever I manage to do that.</p><p>“You’re right, what is with this guy?” Mark asks, gesturing at the screen, where the man grabs some more water after taking a viagra, his wife handcuffed to the bedposts.</p><p>“I dunno but I fuckin' hate his vibes,” I mutter, making Mark laugh even harder.</p><p>“Well, luckily, I’m pretty sure he dies, considering the one sentence we read about this movie,” He says, and I hum in agreement. The man, Gerald, starts getting aggressive with his wife, who seems to have been somewhat pressured into fulfilling some weird.... Abducted scenario sex scene. Gerald does some weird, foreplay move where he grabs her hips and thrusts himself so he’s leaning over her.</p><p>“Ew, I do not like Gerald,” I say with a shiver, at the same time Mark says “Oh, Gerald’s a weird one.” I kick off my shoes and draw my knees to my chest, letting my feet rest on Mark’s bed. “Okay why is this actually the most uncomfortable thing ever?” I say a few minutes later, holding my hands over my face, spreading my fingers so I could see, almost peeling my eyes open and forcing myself to look. Gerald asks her to call for help, but 'like she really means it,' and both Mark and I let out a groan of disgust.
</p><p>“Yeah, I hate Gerald,” Mark says, his face scrunched up in a wince.</p><p>“Ma’am, you can do so much better than Gerald,” I say immediately after, mostly talking to calm myself down. “I’m convinced this is literally going to be the scariest part of this movie.” I say when Gerald calls himself daddy.</p><p>“Yeah I’m not looking forward to it getting worse,” Mark says, wincing again as Gerald bites her, actually hurting her, and not listening when she says to stop, because he's acting like it’s part of the roleplay. “Dude, I wanna kick Gerald’s ass,” Mark adds, and I just nod ferociously in agreement, still looking through my fingers, which were now dragging my bottom eyelids down slightly, thankfully, distorting my vision. Finally, his wife gets upset enough and he stops, Mark and I both relaxing and letting out a sigh of relief. “This movie is like putting toothpicks under your toenails and kicking a wall,” Mark says, when Gerald starts getting upset that she won’t try his fantasy anymore, saying he won’t un-cuff her.
</p><p>“MMMM GOD I hate you Gerald!” I exclaim, finally pulling my hands away from my face, Mark looking like he just sucked on a lemon.</p><p>“Oh wait--” Mark says, both of us pausing when it looks like Gerald is having chest pains. “I think Gerald is dying,” Mark says softly, making me laugh.</p><p>“Fuckin', good,” I say, my eyes widening while I fiddle with the blanket.</p><p>“Well, not really, now she is indeed locked in those handcuffs,” Mark points out.</p><p>“Oh, fuck you’re right,” I say, scrunching back down into my cowering position slightly. “This is literally the worst case scenario.”“Oh, his head is bleeding out--” Mark says.fucking door open,” I say, pulling my legs even tighter to my chest.
</p><p>“Yeah, wow, fuckin’ actually worst case scenario,” Mark mutters. The movie continues, and finally there is a moment without an insane amount of stress. I relax just a little, and I didn’t realize until now, but Mark had placed his hand on the mattress just behind me, using it as support. I guess at some point I ended up drifting closer to him out of fear, because now I was essentially just leaning against his shoulder. I hadn’t even realized that our legs were directly pressed up against each other now. I was beyond grateful that we were in the dark, and he probably couldn’t see the heat rising to my cheeks and neck. I knew he was probably just close to me because it’s a scary movie, but it was getting harder to ignore the butterflies in my stomach from our proximity. Hot people make me really fuckin’ nervous. All of a sudden, the hand of her supposedly dead husband reaches up and grasps the foot of the bed, making Mark jolt a bit, and me let out a very unmanly yelp. I instinctively turned my head, practically burying my head in Mark’s chest, hugging my legs tight to my body again. Mark chuckled. Once I realized what I did, I pulled my head away, certain that even in the dark he could still see my much more pigmented blush.

</p><p>“Okay, so she’s just going insane,” I say, half as a question, half as a statement.</p><p>“Yeah, no, me neither,” I agreed quickly, biting my nails, my eyes glued to the screen. “Gotta say, so far, this movie is pretty good.”</p><p>“I’m surprised, Wade’s taste is questionable,” Mark said, making me chuckle. The rest of the movie was pretty good. I had to say it was one of my favorites I’ve seen in awhile. It’s really uncomfortable, but it’s supposed to be. And none of the scares felt cheap, they were, in my opinion, genuine scares built out of growing fear and suspense. Plus there were some twists in there, and a lot of it could be left up to interpretation, which when done right in a movie can make it really amazing.</p><p>“God, I feel emotionally drained after that,” I say, closing the laptop and just sitting in silence with Mark. I was full leaning against his chest at this point, my head angled back.</p><p>“Yeah, but it was good. Probably one of the best horror movies I've seen in awhile,” He said, his head leaning against the wall.</p><p>“I was certainly stressed the whole time,” I said, Mark chuckling.</p><p>“I think ‘frightened like a baby’ is a more appropriate term,” he said, his voice low and quiet.</p><p>“I wasn’t that scared,” I tried to defend, a smile creeping on my face because I knew he was right. 
</p><p>“Yeah, right,” Mark scoffed quietly. It was as if neither of us wanted to breach a certain sound level, both enjoying and needing the calmness after such an intense movie. "You were gripping onto my arm for dear life!"</p><p>“This is rich coming from someone who jumped basically every time I did,” I said with a roll of my eyes.</p><p>“You jumped when the camera panned to her face,” Mark laughs, making my head move up and down with his chest.</p><p>“That angle made her look like some weird lizard person and you know it,” I said, pointing my finger at no one in particular.</p><p>“Whatever you say, man,” Mark teases, then does something that makes my body run rigid. He drops his head lazily, resting it on the top of my head, both of us just sitting in the darkness, staring off tiredly. Our legs were no longer the only part of us pressed against each other; I could feel the warmth of his (surprisingly hairless) arms against my own, the rise and falls of his chest moving my head, my side pressed against his. If I were honest, I felt like I could fall asleep like this. 
“I’m sleepy,” I say with a small yawn, trying to blink the sleep away.</p><p>“We should probably go to bed. We were out late last night and both had to be up this morning,” He said, and I used the smallest amount of energy required to nod my head in agreement.</p><p>“Do you have a morning class?” I ask, thankful that Wednesdays I was only scheduled for two midday classes.</p><p>“No, thankfully. But the earlier I get to bed the more sleep I get to make up for from last night,” He said, and I simply twitched my eyebrows upwards in response, my eyelids already falling closed.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m gonna fall asleep if I don’t get up,” I say, getting up and placing my laptop on my desk. I rip off my shirt and quickly change into sweat shorts, crawling into bed and hitting my pillow hard. I vaguely see the silhouette of Mark taking off his shirt and pants, climbing into his own bed. I let my eyes close.</p><p>“Ethan?” Mark asks.</p><p>“Ya?” I reply sleepily, my words slightly muffled by my pillow.</p><p>“Goodnight,” is all he says, which makes me smile.</p><p>“Goodnight,” I mumble back, my eyes still closed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Don't Get It Twisted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ethan struggles with the academic side of college, but all is better when he goes with the boys to spend the night at Wade's for drinks and games. <br/>CW: descriptions of severe anxiety/anxiety attack/panic attack. Don't worry, though, I can never leave Ethan unhappy for too long or I feel bad :(</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days were pretty busy, classes finally getting into the thick of their material. If I were to be honest, I was already starting to get overwhelmed. I can’t even begin to imagine what the workload of an engineer major would be. Mark is still friendly with me, but I’ve definitely noticed him being stressed out. When he responds to me, it’s quick answers, his mind sidetracked as he stares for hours at his computer or a textbook.</p><p>I was alone in the dorm-- a rarity since Mark has been so busy studying-- trying desperately to get my eyes to focus on the same paragraph I had been reading over and over for half an hour-- at minimum. Tears were brimming in my eyes out of sheer frustration. It wasn’t even the end of my first week and we already had a history quiz tomorrow, and I’m shit at history. I was reading the words on the textbook but nothing was sinking in, my hands in my hair, gripping harder than I realized until I finally released my grip, feeling an ache on my scalp. I sniffled, my jaw clenched in an attempt to keep myself from fully crying. Finally, I shoved the textbook off my lap and planted my shaky legs on the ground, resting my head in my hands with my elbows on my knees. Under their own command, my legs began bouncing up and down rapidly, sending shakes through my whole body.</p><p>“Fuck,” I breathed out, my head spinning with thoughts. If I focused on any one of them for too long, I knew I would begin spiraling.</p><p>
  <em>You’re gonna have to drop out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You aren’t smart enough to be here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re a waste of space, someone else should have gotten your spot.</em>
</p><p>I leaned back, pressing my palms into my eyes, hoping the pressure would stop me crying, but it was too late. Tears were spilling over my cheeks and I had to breathe through my mouth, my nose too stuffed to get any air through. All while my legs continued to bounce faster than I’ve seen them go in awhile. But one thought in particular sent me over the edge.</p><p>
  <em>You’ll have to leave. Mark, and all of your other friends will forget all about you. If you’re lucky, they’ll ask each other “What happened to that one twitchy kid?” and never spare you another thought after.</em>
</p><p>I clenched my teeth and let out a sound that was closest to one of being in pain, my chest heaving and my hands going clammy. I hit my forehead with my palms a few times, trying to just <em>make it stop</em>. I was gasping and making gargled noises, unable to control seemingly any part of my body. I didn’t want to leave them. Hanging out with them has been the most fun I’ve had maybe in my whole life. I wasn’t ready to let that go. I <em>couldn’t</em> let that go. It was too cruel to give me a taste of what seemed like such true friendship, and rip it all away so quickly.</p><p>I was sobbing now, my shoulders shaking, air and noises being squeezed right out of my body, completely beyond my control. I grabbed my pillow and shoved my face in it, taking part of it into my mouth and biting down hard. I kept sobbing for what felt like an eternity, and when I removed my face it revealed a giant wet spot, soaking through even the pillowcase. I looked around at the empty room, still panting, as if I just ran a mile. I looked at my desk and grabbed the tissues there, cleaning up as much of my face as I could before discarding the tissues in the wastebasket between my desk and Mark’s. I sucked in as hard as I could through my nose, it vibrating my whole head from the congestion enough to make a shiver run down my spine.</p><p>I placed my pillow back where it belonged and leaned myself against the wall, resting my head back on the window sill for a moment. Then, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to let me being too dumb be the reason I never get to see my friends again. I was going to make this work. I <em>had</em> to make this work. I pulled out the front facing camera on my phone, and even in the shitty selfie camera I could tell I looked a mess; my whole face pale except for giant, red splotches all over my face, neck, and even the tips of my ears. I ignored it, I don’t need to look good to study.</p><p>I grabbed the textbook, which was still open to the page I needed to read, and started the paragraph over again, this time forcing my mind as much as I could to pay attention. I actually ended up getting through the next two pages pretty easily, only needing to reread some sentences a few times. Then, I heard the lock in the door turn, and fear and embarrassment flooded my body. I pulled up my hood, drawing the drawstrings as tight as they would go so only my nose and my top lip were visible. I looked all the way down at my book, I could even kind of see the words if I held my head at the right angle. There was no way I was letting Mark know I was just sobbing, and definitely not what it was over.</p><p>“Hey ma--” He stops his sentence, but I don’t look up.</p><p>“Hey Mark what’s up bud?” I say as nonchalantly as I can, not looking up from my book. There’s a silence, and I clear the lump in my throat. I hear the door close.</p><p>“Are you okay?” The tone in his voice is one I haven’t heard from him before. It was soft, and he sounded concerned.</p><p>“Yeah,” My voice was too high pitched, but I couldn’t control it. “Fit as a fiddle, just hittin’ the ol’ books,” I did a quick, throw away wave with one hand, still not looking up.</p><p>“Uh-huh,” He says, and I’m pretty sure he’s caught on a bit. “Why is your pillow wet?” He asks, catching me off guard. Fuck, I forgot to hide the pillow.</p><p>“Oh, uh, I, pee--” I drew out the word, not really wanting to go down this route but it was too late. This is why you don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind, “Eed. On it. I peed on it.” Mark was letting out small fits of laughter, and I could tell without looking at him that he was trying not to laugh too hard at that.</p><p>“You--” He stops, a breath leaving him as he tries to stifle laughter. “You… peed on it?”</p><p>“When you gotta go you gotta go,” I said simply, still not having looked up once. This sent him over the edge apparently, because he was laughing that big, boisterous laugh he does when he finds something really funny. I could picture exactly what his face looked like while doing it, too. His laughter dies down, and I hear soft footsteps approaching me, before I feel the bed dip beside me.</p><p>“Ethan.” Is all he says, but I keep my eyes glued to the textbook.</p><p>“Mhm?” I respond, as innocently as possible.</p><p>“Etha-an,” He draws out my name, almost like the tone you would use on a dog when you come home and they look guilty, knowing they’ve done something they’re not supposed to.</p><p>“Ma-ark,” I mimic how he said my name, still not looking up.</p><p>“Ethan, look at me,” Mark says softly, and I feel my stomach flutter. I look at him, my hoodie still hiding essentially my whole face. He chuckles slightly. I feel his hand grab the back of my hood, slowly pulling it off my head. I instantly drop my eyes to the floor, ashamed that he was seeing me like this. I haven’t felt this pathetic in awhile. “Look at me,” He sings his words slightly, all the while speaking in a calm and quiet tone. I take a deep breath before flicking my eyes to his, which instantly fills me with warmness. He’s looking at me with such a gentle gaze, such a caring stare. I’m not sure I’ve been looked at by anyone like that, besides maybe my mom. But even then, this look felt different. It sent electricity through my body. “Why were you crying?” He asks, still just as softly.</p><p>“It’s nothing. ‘S stupid,” I muttered, looking down again.</p><p>“Look at me,” He coos again. I look back up at him. “Why were you crying? I promise, it’s not stupid.” I shrug.</p><p>“I just… don’t think I’m supposed to be here,” I looked away again, tears starting to brim in my eyes just from speaking the sentence out loud.</p><p>“How did you come to that conclusion?” Mark asks, voice just as soft as ever. The tears spill over once again when he puts his hand on my shoulder, a light pressure that radiates small waves of comfort through me.</p><p>“I’m not smart enough. I can’t focus long enough to even read a paragraph unless I’m using a hundred percent of my energy. I’m not sure if that’s sustainable throughout a whole year, let alone four,” I said, my voice shaking.</p><p>“Just because you have problems focusing it doesn’t mean you’re not smart, Ethan. I don’t want to hear you say that about yourself,” His tone never shifts, his hand beginning to rub small, slow circles over my shoulder blade.</p><p>“How am I going to do it, though?” I ask, the desperateness for an answer prevalent in my voice as I look at him with teary eyes, searching for anything that was going to help me get a clue.</p><p>“Well, if you have problems focusing, I’ll just study with you,” He said simply, a small, comforting smile spreading across his face.</p><p>“I can’t make you do that,” I said, wiping my tears on my sleeves and looking down. “It would be torture having to keep me on track for every essay, every bit of work.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t be <em>making</em> me do anything,” He says with a small chuckle. “And it’s really not torture. I have to do schoolwork, too. We’ll just do it together, that way if you start getting distracted I can help you focus.” I looked up at him, not able to hold back a small smile spreading across my face.</p><p>“Are you sure? You really don’t have to,” I say, not wanting him to agree to something just because he feels bad I’m a mess.“Of course I don’t have to, but I want to,” Mark says, his hand still on my shoulder, only his thumb swiping back and forth slowly.</p><p>“Thank you,” I say, then chuckle, wiping my face with both of my sleeves over my hands. “God, I’ve known you not even a week and you’ve already seen me cry like a baby.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, people are meant to cry,” Mark said simply, which did make me feel better. “Alright, what you need is a nice break, and then we’ll come back and we can get some work done.” Mark stands up, and catches me off guard by running his hand down my arm until it catches my wrist, pulling me up with him.</p><p>“I dunno, I look like a mess,” I say sheepishly.</p><p>“You don’t, and even if you did, so what? It’s no one’s business. Who says you have to look good to go out and get some fresh air,” Mark says with a smile, his voice back to it’s usual volume.</p><p>“I guess you’re right,” I say, surprised that he’s still holding onto my wrist. “I’m gonna change into a different hoodie, though. This one’s all… wet.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, from the pee?” Mark laughs, letting go of my wrist so I can go to my dresser and pull a new hoodie. I can’t help but burst out laughing, my hands going to cover my mouth.</p><p>“I don’t know why that was the only excuse I could come up with,” I said, shaking my head before pulling off the soiled hoodie. Mark was still chuckling.</p><p>“Why didn’t you just say you spilled water?” He asks through stifled laughter. I look at him with wide eyes, as if he just told me about some magnificent scientific breakthrough.</p><p>“I could’ve said I <em>spilled water</em>!” I exclaim followed by a groan, my hands gesturing wildly. “Why didn’t I think of that?” I ask more to myself, turning away from a laughing Mark and pulling on a yellow hoodie. Then, Mark’s laughs fade, and I am once again caught off guard as I feel a warm pressure against my back, followed by arms wrapping around my stomach. I feel my face heat instantly, and I’m glad we’re turned away from each other because I know I look like I’ve just seen a ghost, eyes wide and wild with confusion. He rests his chin on my shoulder.</p><p>“I hope you’re feeling better. School can be shitty when you don’t learn the same way as everyone else,” He says in that soft, low voice again, his breath tickling my neck and ears, sending a shiver down my spine.</p><p>“I am,” I somehow manage to choke out after a moment of trying to gather myself. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it,” He says easily, unwinding himself from around me and moving towards the door, much to my dismay. I make sure I have my phone, keys, and wallet before following him out of our dorm, and soon out of the building. We go to a small restaurant on campus known for their giant milkshakes, and share a vanilla one. Once we get back to the dorm, we spend a few hours doing work. Mark’s finished all of his coursework for tonight, so he just focuses on helping me… well… focus. Mark reads the paragraph first, then asks me a question I can find the answer to in that paragraph, usually somewhere in the middle. Then, I read the paragraph, paying attention more because I’m looking for the answer to a question, and then I tell him the answer when I’m done. While in theory this does take longer than just reading all the paragraphs at once, it actually ends up going by way quicker than before, because I’m not having to reread things over and over.</p><p>I must say, though, as much as he’s helping me focus, I can’t help getting distracted by him. Whether it’s looking at him, or thinking about the little things he does-- like how he nudges my thigh with his knee when he sees me getting distracted, or how he furrows his brows slightly when he’s thinking of a question for me to answer-- I can’t help but find my thoughts drifting to him.</p><p>I’ve never had friends like this before; ones that care about me enough to help me through the times that are probably most annoying. I feel my gratitude for Mark growing bigger and bigger by the minute, and I think I’m getting intoxicated… off of friendship? That may sound ridiculous, but when you go a lot of your life without strong connections to people outside of your parents, once you finally get that in your life it’s like it’s own drug. By the end of the night, I feel like I’ve taken too many hits of Mark, and now my thoughts are only centered on him. Even when he moves off my bed to sleep on his own, I find myself staring in the darkness up at the popcorn ceiling, replaying every interaction I’ve had with him. It all brings an embarrassed smile to my face. I spare one last look at him, his chest rising and falling slowly with sleep, before I force myself to turn over and push my thoughts of Mark to the side so I, too, can sleep.</p><p>The next day I finish my classes, and luckily it’s now Friday, which means I can finally relax. I took the history quiz, so it’s over and done with. Whatever grade I got is what I got, so no use stressing about it anymore. I’m on my phone, scrolling through Twitter when Mark walks in.</p><p>“Hey,” He says with a nod.</p><p>“Hey,” I smile back, taking a sip of the Sprite I got from the vending machine downstairs.</p><p>“How’d the quiz go?” Mark asks, and I shrug.</p><p>“I think fine,” I say, putting down my phone.</p><p>“Well, you deserve some relaxation time,” Mark says, making me raise an eyebrow. “Basically we’re all staying at Wade’s place since he doesn’t have a curfew,” Mark confirmed, and I nodded in understanding.</p><p>“Cool, I’m in,” I say, getting up and emptying my backpack so I can fill it with things I’ll need for the night.</p><p>“Yeah, plus it’s bigger than a dorm,” Mark says, doing the same as me with his own bag. “Oh, we also have one more friend that’s coming that you haven’t met.”</p><p>“Oh, sick, what’s their name?” I ask, shoving a sleep shirt, sleep shorts, and a change of boxer briefs in my backpack.</p><p>“Sean, but sometimes we call him Jack,” Mark said. I look at him quizzically, not seeing how you get Jack from Sean.</p><p>“Is that his middle name?” I ask. Mark ponders for a moment.</p><p>“You know what, it’s not,” Mark says, as if he’s just come to this realization. “I don’t know, probably some childhood nickname.” Mark shrugs, zipping up his own bag. I put my toiletries in my bag, along with my wallet, phone charger, and keys. If there’s one thing I am, it’s prepared for a sleepover.</p><p>“How are we getting there?” I asked as we left our dorm, heading out for the night. 
“Bob said he’d give us a ride since he’s the only one with a car besides Wade,” Mark said. “Sean lives with Wade, so he’ll just meet us there.”</p><p>“What an angel, that Bob,” I say, making Mark chuckle.</p><p>“Definitely not what I’d call him, but sure,” Mark says with a smile.</p><p>The ride to Wade’s was nice and short, Mark and I in the back, Tyler in the passenger seat next to Bob. We arrived at a tall apartment building that was made specifically for juniors and seniors who wanted to chip in and live in their own apartment so they don’t have to worry about the rules of dorm life. We walked up the stairs to the third floor and Bob knocked on Wade’s door. We were greeted with a smiling Wade.</p><p>“Hey guys! Come on in,” He said, opening the door wider and stepping to the side. The apartment seemed pretty sizeable, the living room pretty big and connected to a nicely decorated kitchenette.</p><p>“Wow, this place is cool, Wade!” I beamed, taking off my shoes at the door out of habit. </p><p>“Thanks! Not the most expensive either,” Wade said. “Plus we have a guest room. Oh yeah, there’s a king in the guest room, this couch folds out into a bed,” Wade gestured to the large, black couch next to me, “And that couch is one of the most comfortable things ever. Sean sleeps there sometimes just because it’s nice,” He pointed to a shorter couch that looked like it had big, soft cushions.</p><p>“I call not sharing a bed,” Bob said, plopping down on the fold out couch.</p><p>“I also call not sharing a bed,” Tyler raised up a hand, jogging over to the shorter couch and throwing his whole body across it.</p><p>“Wow, making Ethan share a bed with Mark on his first night here,” Wade said, tutting. </p><p>“Hey, Ethan has to live with Mark. He’s most prepared to deal with his Markness,” Bob said, making me laugh.</p><p>“It’s all good, I don’t take up much room. It’ll be like I’m sleeping alone,” I said, plopping myself down on the couch next to Bob.</p><p>“I take great offense to this whole conversation, for the record,” Mark says, safety vaulting himself over the back of the couch, sitting down next to me. The couches were angled around a pretty big TV, two comfy looking chairs also in the mix, and a sleek coffee table in the middle to tie it together.</p><p>“Ya know, Mark said you have questionable taste, Wade, but this place is decorated pretty nicely,” I said, rubbing my hands on the fake suede couch.</p><p>“Hey!” Wade shouted at Mark, taking a seat in one of the chairs.</p><p>“That’s because Sean did most of the decorating,” Mark said, making a face. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus, by the way.”</p><p>“Anytime,” I replied.</p><p>“Where is our little Irishman, anyway?” Bob asked, making me quirk an eyebrow.</p><p>“He’s Irish?” I ask.</p><p>“Did I hear Irish?” An Irish accent calls as a smiling guy emerges from the hallway to the left of the living room. He has clean cut brown hair, and a beard that was a bit fuller than Mark’s stubble, also roughly Mark’s height.</p><p>“There he is,” Bob says, Tyler, Mark, and Wade cheering.</p><p>“Sean this is Ethan, Ethan this is Sean,” Wade says, gesturing between us.</p><p>“Hey, nice to meet you,” I smile as I get up, offering out my hand.</p><p>“So formal, I love it,” Sean says with a smile as he shakes my hand before taking a seat in the other chair next to Wade. I sit back down as well.</p><p>“Yes, Ethan is our new, perky little friend,” Bob says, making me chuckle. It warms my heart to hear them call me their friend.</p><p>“Yeah whose presence, for some reason, turns Mark into me,” Tyler says with a chuckle, making us laugh.</p><p>“I thought you were being scarily quiet,” Sean said, looking at Mark. Mark rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Can’t a guy ever sit in silence anymore?” Mark asks.</p><p>“Sure, a guy can,” Bob says, “<em>You</em> can’t.”</p><p>“He’s gotten better with the whole talking thing,” I say, jabbing my thumb in Mark’s direction.</p><p>“See?” Mark raises his eyebrows at the group. “Thank you, Ethan.” I just smiled back.</p><p>“Good. It was like watching signs of a sick dog, I wondered when we were gonna have to take him to the vet,” Bob said, making everyone laugh, including Mark.</p><p>“Glad to know you all enjoy my talkativeness so much,” Mark said in a flattered tone.</p><p>“‘Enjoy’ is a strong word,” Bob said, making me chuckle and Mark look offended, but all in good fun, as usual.</p><p>“Yeah, ‘bite down on a rag and bear it’ is more accurate, I would say,” Sean says, making us laugh. Mark just pulls a face in response.</p><p>“Wow, you really put him in his place with that one,” I say to Mark, making him laugh.</p><p>“I simply do not waste time on the peanut gallery,” Mark says.</p><p>“Alright, when do we get to the drunkenness?” Bob asks, queuing Wade to stand up.</p><p>“Right now, what do you guys want?” Wade asks. “We have White Claw, some different beer brands, Smirnoff Ice. Shots, if we so please.”</p><p>“Beer for me, please,” Bob says.</p><p>“Second that,” Tyler adds.</p><p>“Ooo I’ll have a White Claw, please,” I say, doing a baby voice. Mark does a double take at me, the others chuckling and giving me a quizzical look.</p><p>“I have never heard that sound come out of you,” Mark says to me, laughing hard enough that his eyes close up, full face grinning.</p><p>“Oh yeah, I can’t really control when that happens anymore. Started as a joke and now it’s just kinda,” I gesture into the air flippantly, “There.”</p><p>“Well, anyway, Smirnoff. Please and thank you,” Mark calls to Wade.</p><p>“I’ll just help you,” Sean says as he heaves himself up. They bring back the drinks and pass them to their respective owners, Sean and Wade also opting for a beer.</p><p>“I see we see who the real men be,” Bob teases, gesturing to only Mark and I not having beers.</p><p>“Don’t these have higher alcohol percentages than beer?” I say, checking my can, which confirms my statement.</p><p>“Shh, that’s neither here nor there-- in fact, don’t speak of it,” Bob says, making a giggle erupt out of me. We start the night out by playing video games again, the first being Mario Kart, then Smash Bros Ultimate, then Mortal Kombat again. We decide to switch from video games to a drinking game, now that we were all one to two softer drinks in. Only this time, we would be playing with shots.</p><p>“Oo!” Wade exclaims. “Ethan! We should teach Sean how to play paranoia.”</p><p>“Oh is that the one with the coin?” Sean asks. I nod to confirm. “Yeah, that’s a good one, I already know how to play.”</p><p>“It’s basically a game of who can get Ethan to blush the hardest,” Bob says, making me laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, and Mark’s usually the winner,” Tyler chuckles, of course, making me blush.</p><p>“C’mon, it’s not <em>that</em> bad,” I say.</p><p>“Hate to break it to you, Ethan, but your own face is betraying you right now,” Sean says, making me roll my eyes and giggle.</p><p>“Alright, just for that, I nominate Sean asks the first question,” I say with a smile.</p><p>“Here, here,” Bob agrees, raising his beer and finishing it off before resting it on the table.</p><p>“Fine, I’m asking Bob right?” Sean asks, all of us chorusing our confirmation. Sean gets up to whisper in Bob’s ear, the rest of us making senseless noise as usual. I plug my ears and lean a bit more towards Mark, since I’m the one mostly likely to hear what they’re saying. I expected Mark to lean away, but he doesn’t, resulting in me awkwardly hovering over his chest until Sean’s done. A bottle of clear tequila was on the coffee table, shot glasses for all of us as well.</p><p>“Alright, uh… Tyler, and tails,” Bob says, flipping the coin he had ready in his hand, smacking it down on the back of his hand. “Heads!” Bob and Sean call out.</p><p>“The question was ‘who here is mostly likely to be a serial killer’,” Sean says, making all of us laugh, including Tyler.</p><p>“I’m surprised you didn’t say Mark,” Wade says through chuckles. Mark makes a face of disbelief.</p><p>“W-What? Why?” He asks, his voice pitched higher than usual.</p><p>“Nah, Mark would only kill like, one or two people,” Bob says, both of them ignoring Mark.</p><p>“What?!” Mark’s voice goes even higher, making laughter spill out of me. “Why?!” He repeats.</p><p>“So that’s a drink for me,” Bob says, pouring a shot and bracing himself before throwing it back. He grabs one of the limes from the bowl Sean put out, sucking on it with a scrunched up face. Mark rolls his eyes at being ignored.</p><p>“Ya know, you’re gonna be the one to drive me to murder,” Mark grumbles in Bob’s general direction.</p><p>“C’mere Ethan, gimme your ears,” Bob says, making me giggle. The rest of the boys start making noise. “Who would you let cuddle your penis?” Instantly I break down into a shrieking fit of laughter, doubling over and grabbing at my stomach. Still laughing, I cup my hands over my face and let out a muffled scream.</p><p>“I don’t even know what that means!” I squeak, struggling to get words out through my continued laughter. Bob’s giggle was also pretty infectious, so that didn’t help.</p><p>“You know damn well what it means,” Bob says through bubbling laughter.</p><p>“Ok, uh… I guess Mark-- still don’t really know what that entails though,” I said, finally recovering from my laughter.</p><p>“Well you answered that one quickly,” Bob says, making both him and I laugh harder.</p><p>“Listen man, I’ve got, like, essentially the same question so many times,” I said, letting out a breath. “But, gotta say, your phrasing is the best.” I might have imagined it, but I think what I said made Mark blush.</p><p>“Hey, thanks man,” Bob says through more laughter, “Appreciate it.”</p><p>“Anyway, heads, because I feel that’s appropriate,” My words make Bob chuckle and fuck up the first coin flip, so he does a redo.</p><p>“Tails! Yes!” Bob cheers.</p><p>“Bob just leans into my ear and says ‘who would you let cuddle your penis?’” As soon as the sentence leaves my mouth, everyone is laughing. Mark’s loud, boisterous laughter seemed to ring out much louder than the rest.</p><p>“Gee, thanks man,” Mark says, still laughing. I nod in acknowledgement. I pour my shot and throw it back, seeing Mark watching me from the corner of my eye. I stick out my tongue a few times in disgust, before grabbing a lime and shoving it in my mouth.</p><p>“Ok, c’mere,” I say after chills run through my body from the shot, leaning into Mark as he dips his ear towards me. Everyone else starts making noise. “This one’s gonna be a little bit different,” I whisper. “Which <em>two people</em> would you have a threesome with?” Mark leans back, a smile not necessarily of laughter on his face, but one of almost… smugness? No, that wasn’t right, but I couldn’t place it. He looks around the room.</p><p>“Uh… I guess Sean,” Sean raises his eyebrows at Mark, who turns back to look at me before taking a breath in, holding eye contact. Before his next words even leave his mouth, I already feel myself blushing. “And you… tails.”</p><p>“Ooooo,” Bob coos like a gossipping schoolgirl, “We can do twofers, I didn’t even think about that.”</p><p>“Yeah, you can also be like ‘between this person and this person’ and then ask a question,” I said, Bob flipping the coin.</p><p>“Damn we’re about to step up the questions, then,” Bob said, smacking the coin down on the back of his hand. “Fuck! I really wanted to know this one, it’s tails.”</p><p>“Ha, all of you drink,” Mark says triumphantly. We all pour our shots, except Mark, and throw them back. We play some more rounds, but have to stop earlier than last time because we were all pretty ridiculously drunk.</p><p>“Ok, I have an idea,” Sean says, then disappears into the hall, leaving us in silence.</p><p>“Oh, is that just it? Did he just leave?” I ask when he doesn’t return for a while. But then he emerges, and my eyes widen in glee at the box he’s carrying.</p><p>“Twister!” Sean cheers, a wide smile on his face.</p><p>“Yes! I fuckin <em>love</em> Twister,” I say, getting amped up. Definitely drunk.</p><p>“I’ll spin the thingy, if I turn upside down right now all signs point to me vomiting,” Bob says, making us chuckle.</p><p>“Isn’t there only room for four players?” Wade asks.</p><p>“I’ll sit out this round, maybe I’ll go next one,” Tyler says, and Sean lays the mat behind the couch Bob, Mark and I are sitting on. We all get in our starting positions.</p><p>“Ok, how are we playing it? Everyone does the same thing or we go in a circle and one person does each individual spin?” Bob asks.</p><p>“One thing!” all of us respond.</p><p>“Ok,” We hear the sound of the spinner spinning. “Right foot green.” We all move our right foot to a green dot. We hear the spinning again.</p>

<p>“Left foot red,” Bob calls out, all of us move so we are now standing legs spread.</p><p>“Right hand blue,” Tyler must have moved over to see, because he was the one to speak. Mark and I were facing away, so we couldn’t see them. I bend down, and hear Mark laugh from behind me.</p><p>“Not enjoying this view,” He chuckles. I laugh and sway my hips from side to side.</p><p>“C’mon, no use lying Mark!” I say in a funny voice.</p><p>“Left hand blue,” Tyler calls. “And remember, only one limb per dot.” I try to move my left hand to the only other blue that’s in easy range of me, but Mark gets there first.</p><p>“Mark, you have just made both our lives a whole lot harder,” I said, lowering my body down so I was almost in a crab walking position.</p><p>“Why would you go under!” Mark criticizes as I start maneuvering myself under him until I can put my left hand on a dot.</p><p>“Wow, my view has gotten immensely worse,” I say, grateful no one could see that I was blushing profusely as I was now face-to-crotch with Mark.</p><p>“Yeah, exactly why I asked why you would go under,” Mark said, basically speaking into my dick.</p><p>“Left foot yellow,” Bob calls out. “Gee, Ethan and Mark are really getting twisted into a pretzel over there,” Bob chuckles with Tyler.</p><p>“Yet somehow, Wade and I have managed to stay pretty far away from each other,” Sean says.</p><p>“Maybe if Mark didn’t steal my blue,” I called from under Mark.</p><p>“Hey, that is a valid Twister strategy,” Mark defends.</p><p>“Of course you use strategy in Twister,” Sean laughs.</p><p>“Well the point is to win, isn’t it?” Mark asks rhetorically.</p><p>“I thought the point was to basically have clothed sex with your friends,” Bob says, and we hear the spinning of the spinner once more. “Right hand red.” I move my hand to a red dot, thankful I wasn’t having to hold myself up with no wide stance.</p><p>“I mean, if so, Mark and Ethan clearly have Sean and I beat,” Wade says from above me, and looking up I realize I can actually see him.</p><p>“Wade!” I call, him looking down through the space between him and Mark’s ass to see me peering up at him. He laughs hard enough to make his eyes close, making me giggle.</p><p>“Yes Ethan?” He asks after his laughs die down.</p><p>“I see you hi,” I say, making him laugh again.</p><p>“Yes, hello, I see you, too,” He says, then adds, “Although it’s a little hard to see past Mark’s ass.”</p><p>“I will not apologize for having the most cake,” Mark says from above me, making most of us laugh. A few more spins and before we know it Wade is out, trying to make an evasive maneuver to get his right hand on blue before Sean got there, but getting off balance and falling on his ass (no doubt from the amount of alcohol in his system. He got very unlucky in Paranoia.)</p><p>“And Wade is out!” Bob calls, Wade leaving the mat with a sigh.</p><p>“And I am one step closer to victory,” Mark grunts from his new position above me. We had gotten into a bit of a precarious situation; I was in full crabwalk stance, Mark having to hold himself above me, but with crossed legs in order to have his feet on the right dots. However, this meant there wasn’t much room between us, and each time one of us breathed in, our chests were touching, his head essentially shoved into my neck at any given moment. It’s also worth mentioning that my legs were spread open, Mark having to position himself between them, so I was essentially air straddling him. Sean had also ended up getting interlaced, but nowhere near as much, only one hand being underneath me.</p><p>“How things are set up, my money is definitely on Sean winning,” Bob says, me letting out a grunt from holding myself up so long.</p><p>“Please do not make that noise when I am in between your legs, it is very disturbing,” Mark says into my neck, tickling it with his breath which makes me squirm. “WHY ARE YOU MOVING?” Mark questions, losing balance slightly.</p><p>“Because you’re TICKLING MY NECK!” I yell back, shaking my head as a shiver runs down my spine.</p><p>“I don’t like being a part of this,” Sean comments from my side, making me chuckle.</p><p>“It was your genius idea to play twister,” Mark grunts as he shifts his weight to have a stronger stance.</p><p>“And boy am I regretting it,” Sean says, making Bob laugh.</p><p>“Unfortunately it’s gotten a whole lot worse for ya, bud, because left hand red,” Bob says, all of us groaning.</p><p>“Ok, this can work if we all work together--” I start, but Sean cuts me off.</p><p>“I”M GOIN’ FOR IT!” He announces before trying to shove his other hand underneath me, which in turn means his whole upper body. He, fortunately for me, fails, and I hear his stomach smack the ground. He lets out a groan. “I shouldn’t have gone for it.” All of us laugh at his misfortune. He worms himself out from underneath us and joins the rest to watch from the couch. I take this opportunity to flip myself over quickly, so now I’m facing the ground, Mark’s chest pressing against my back, my legs also now crossed. Mark grunts as he throws his left hand on the red dot just above my left hand. Because my legs were crossed, this now meant my ass was essentially pressed into his dick. Luckily I could blame my face being red on being upside down.</p><p>“Hey Maaark,” I say, my voice high pitched to come off innocent. He chuckles from behind me.</p><p>“Yeeees?” He sings back, mocking my tone.</p><p>“Thinkin’ of givin’ up soon?” I responded in my same voice. All of them laugh, Mark’s chest rumbling my back as he does.</p><p>“No,” Is all he says through left over laughter. There’s a pause before I respond.</p><p>“‘Kay just checkin’,” I say simply, earning another rumble from Mark’s chest. If I thought about it too long, I knew Mark being so close against me would get me… more than the acceptable levels of excitement, shall we say. So I’m very pointedly thinking of anything But Mark. Playing Twister with hot people is not the best idea for me.</p><p>“Are your right feet already on green?” Bob asks, both of us groaning.</p><p>“No, yellow,” Mark groans, the first to try and stretch his crossed leg to green.</p><p>“Mark, you’re pullin’ me down--” I say, panic rising in my voice.</p><p>“Not my problem,” He grunts, continuing to try and move his foot.</p><p>“Mark--”</p><p>“Not my problem,” he sings at me, though his voice was strained from trying to move. I feel him wobble, and fear fills my body.</p><p>“<em>Mark</em>--” I say more urgently, but then his body collapses on top of me, forcing me to hit the mat, him lying limp on my body. “DAMMIT!” I exclaim. “Ma-aark!” I whine.</p><p>“I’m not sure who wins that,” Tyler says, and I make a gargled noise of disagreement, earning laughs from the group.</p><p>“What do you mean?!” My voice is high with disbelief, “He gave in first!”</p><p>“Yeah, but you touched the ground first,” Sean says, and I roll my eyes.</p><p>“Because I can’t support him! I’m a twig in comparison!” I defend myself.</p><p>“Yeah, these bulging, rippling muscles are too much for your frail body to handle,” Mark says, sitting up and kissing his bicep. I furrow my brows at him and shake my head.</p><p>“Don’t- don’t do that,” I say simply, making him laugh.</p><p>“Just for that, Ethan wins,” Bob says, and I sit up, sticking my arms in the air in victory.</p><p>“That seems illegal, but I’m too drunk or tired to care,” Mark says, pushing himself up off me. He extends a hand my way, looking down at me. I take it and hoist myself up.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m goin’ to bed,” Bob says, everyone moving off the big couch so he can pull it out.</p><p>“Me too,” Sean says. Wade and Tyler nodding in agreement.</p><p>“Alright, Mark, Ethan; let me show you to the room,” He says, all of us chorusing our goodnights to each other.</p><p>“I’ve been in your house before, ya know,” Mark says with a chuckle as we follow Wade and Sean, Sean going into a room at the end of the hall, closing the door.</p><p>“I know but Ethan’s new! I gotta be a good host,” Wade says, and I smile. He opens the door across from what seems to be his bedroom, revealing a room big enough for a dresser and a king sized bed. Mark and I both set our backpacks on the dresser. “Ok, extra blankets and pillows are in there,” He points to a small, built in closet with a sliding mirror for a door. “If you need anything, I’m right across the hall, but Mark can probably get you anything you need.”</p><p>“Thanks, man!” I say, clapping Wade on the shoulder. “I’ll see ya in the morning, goodnight!” Mark and Wade say their goodnights and Wade exits, closing the door behind him. I open my backpack and pull out my sleep shorts and shirt, ripping off the shirt I had on and pushing down my pants. After I change I grab my toiletry bag and disappear into the connected half-bath, brushing my teeth before coming out and flopping on the bed. Mark enters the bathroom after me and does the same, but when he comes out my face is forced into a bonfire.
</p>
<p>“What?” He asks when he catches me staring at his near naked form, only in boxer briefs. He looks down at himself when I don’t respond quick enough, which only worsens my blush. “You know I only sleep in underwear.” I snap out of my stupor.</p><p>“Uh-- R-right, yeah, I did,” I say, shaking my head and averting my eyes. I see Mark smirk in the corner of my eye, but I ignore it, grabbing my phone from the nightstand and pretending to be lost in it. Mark didn’t bother walking around the bed, instead climbing over me to get to his side after he had turned off the lights. I put my phone on the nightstand after making sure I didn’t have any alarms set, planning on sleeping in at least a little since we were getting to bed so late. It was already nearly 3 AM somehow. I lie on my back, staring up into darkness as my eyes haven't adjusted yet. Then, I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I look over at Mark, who is already looking at me.</p><p>“Did you have fun tonight?” He asks softly, making me smile sleepily.</p><p>“Yeah. One of the most fun nights in my life,” I answer, too groggy to try and minimize the truth. My eyes are already falling shut.</p><p>“Good, I’m glad,” Mark says, his soft voice both energizing me and lulling me to sleep. He was so different when it was just him and I. Not like he was mean in front of our friends, not at all, but this was a much gentler side that I wondered if the rest of them ever got to see. Surely they have, they’ve been friends for years. Plus, a lot of people’s dynamics change once they enter a group setting. It doesn’t mean they’re not being themselves, in either situation.</p><p>“I hope I wasn’t annoying,” I grumble, eyelids too heavy to open. I feel Mark’s weight shift slightly, and the next thing he does jolts me wide awake, but I force my eyes to stay closed. He runs his fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my eyes.</p><p>“Hey,” He coos, and I can tell he’s closer to me now from the shift in the bed “Look at me,” He says in a calm yet demanding voice that reminds me of a few days ago. It sends shivers down my spine. My eyes flutter open to meet those that were already looking at me. “You weren’t annoying at all. Everyone enjoyed you being there, you made the night a lot more fun.” His words brought a smile to my face, and I’m not sure if it’s the booze or if I’m just emotional, but it makes my eyes prickle, threatening me with tears.</p><p>“Thank you,” I whisper, for if I tried to speak any louder I knew he would hear my voice shake. I close my eyes once again, and he hasn’t stopped combing his fingers through my hair. It sends relaxing shivers throughout my body, and I can’t help but lean into his touch. I roll on my right side so I’m facing him, his hand moving from the front tuft of my hair gingerly to the side, then tracing patterns on the back as he softly cups my head. I open my eyes as much as I can muster, desperate to get one last look at him. He’s looking at me as if he were observing a small, fragile animal. I would expect it to make me feel small, but instead I feel it gives me the courage of ten thousand lions. I smile softly, not even meaning to, before my eyes fall shut once more. I fall asleep to him tracing absent minded patterns in my hair.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Struck by Lightening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ethan and Mark awake from the sleepover, Bob's curiosity about the nature of their relationship gets the better of him, which leaves Ethan with a lot to think about.<br/>CW: yes, the time has come much quicker than I thought it would, and there is some smut. in MY opinion it's pretty light smut, but everyone has a different gauge for that, so read at your own risk! (also sorry if the smut is shitty I haven't written smut in a veryyy long time so I am rusty)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Careful you never know… you’re opening up… with them,” I hear a muffled voice, not quite catching the whole sentence, my eyes still closed. I squeeze them tight and let out a soft groan. I am not waking up yet. I feel warm and this bed smells insanely nice, like pine and something huskier that I can’t quite place.</p><p>“Are they… thing?” I hear a different muffled voice in the distance, but I ignore it.</p><p>“I don’t think so,” I hear a third voice. I wrap my arms around whatever is radiating warmth, curling further into it. “Well, if they… a ride… to wake them now,” the same voice says again. I hear a soft knock and the unlatching of a door. I tuck my head into what I think is a pillow, holding it even tighter to me. I do not want to leave this bed.</p><p>“Well isn’t this just adorable,” I can clearly hear Bob’s voice now, making my eyes shoot open, but I’m still staring into blackness. This is when I realize the warm, nice smelling pillow is oddly flesh textured.</p><p>“Really? To me it looks like I’m gonna have to burn these sheets,” Sean’s voice. I lift my head up, eyes squinting at the brightness of the room. I groan, hearing someone else also groan. What I now realize are arms tighten around my waist, pulling me closer.</p><p>“Hey, lovebirds,” Bob says, which is the only thing keeping me from falling back asleep. “If you want a ride back get dressed.” I hear chuckles before people exit the room, closing the door. My eyes weren’t well adjusted enough to see anything, but now my vision was coming to. I looked down, and felt my whole body go hot, specifically my face. Mark and I had been facing each other, our arms wrapped around each other, and our legs tangled. There’s a small red spot on Mark’s chest, which must have been where my face was buried. How was I breathing?</p><p>“Mark,” I say quietly, my voice raspy with sleep. He grunts, pulling me close again. I almost melt into a puddle right then and there. “Mark, Bob says if we want a ride back we have to get up,” I say, putting my hand on Mark’s shoulder and shaking lightly. I wished more than anything to just stay here, I assume mostly because I was tired and mildly hungover, but also last night was the best sleep I’ve had in… well, since I can remember. Granted I was drunk. That probably played into it. However, I knew we would regret it if we didn’t catch a ride with Bob now. Plus it might look a little weird if we decline a ride just to stay… like this.</p><p>“Mm… don’t wanna,” Is all Mark manages to mumble out, his voice gruff and deep; how it usually is in the mornings. I can’t help but stare down at him, the way his eyelashes cascade over his cheeks. The way his hair curls and flips just ever so slightly over his forehead, his angular yet soft bone structure catching in the light that flits through the curtains just right. His pink lips that are parted just enough that if his eyes were open, you would think he’s lost in thought. The needy way he wraps his arms tighter around me once I start getting the smallest distance between us, the way he shoves his leg further in between mine so I’m basically straddling his thigh while we lie down. All of it was making my heart race and warmth begin to pool in my stomach. I lean down, my lips hovering just over his ear.</p><p>“Mark,” I whisper as softly as I can. He only responds with a “hm,” not bothering to open his eyes. I don’t even know if he’s fully awake yet. “We gotta go, Bob’s gonna give us a ride.” I see his face scrunch up slightly, clearly not liking that suggestion. Then, I feel my heart stop all at once when he shoves his face into the crook of my neck and shoulder, his breath tickling the skin there. A shiver runs through my body and I think it is only by the grace of god that I’m even still <em>breathing</em>.</p><p>“Don’t wanna,” he says again, his words muffled as they vibrate through my body. I can’t help but go weak, collapsing into him. I can’t stop from indulging myself, and brush back the hair that was now falling over the sid of his face to behind his ear. I let my hand rest there, cupping his jaw lightly, my thumb lightly brushing over his cheekbone.</p><p>“C’mon, you can sleep when we get back,” I say softly, before forcing myself to pull away, untangling our bodies and getting out of bed. I don’t know how I managed it, frankly. It’s like a kid being offered the toy they want most, getting to play with it, and then putting it back when given the option to keep it. I, honestly, don’t think I’ve ever had this much self control, and I may never again. I hear Mark let out a long groan, finally rolling onto his back and stretching.</p><p>“It’s not that far of a walk,” Mark mumbles, making a grin break across my face as I grab my change of clothes and head to the bathroom.</p><p>“That walk tired and hungover would’ve been hell and you know it,” I say before disappearing into the bathroom, changing into different sweat shorts and a shirt, and brushing my teeth. I leave the bathroom for Mark to use and text Bob that we’re almost ready, and thank him for waiting.</p><p>
  <strong>Bob: hate to disturb, since y’all looked so precious</strong>
</p><p>My face flushes red at that, but a smile spreads across my face nonetheless. I send back a quick response.</p><p>
  <strong>Oh shut it, or i’ll charge u for watching ;p</strong>
</p><p>Mark exits the bathroom and stretches, throwing his stuff haphazardly into his backpack. He walks over to me and ruffles my hair, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My face is red as I try to shoot him a quizzical look.</p><p>“Ready to go?” Is all he says, and I nod, grabbing my own backpack and following him to the living room. It’s only now that I feel embarrassment, realizing that at least three of our friends saw us like that. I hide behind Mark a bit when we enter the room, biting my nails and hiding my hands in my sleeve, praying they don’t see how red I am.</p><p>“Ah, awake at last,” Bob says, getting up and slipping on his shoes.</p><p>“And, surprisingly, not glued together,” Sean teases, but a smile is firmly in place on his face. I still can’t help but go even more red.</p><p>“You’re just jealous you didn’t have your own personal teddy bear,” Mark says to Sean, and I feel my heart soar. Oh boy. The guys chorus an “Awwwwwww,” Mark just making a face at them, me trying to play it off like nothing and smile along. We thank Wade and Sean for having us, and I get Sean’s number before we head out.“Just park in the parking near your guys’ dorm, Ethan and I are gonna steal some coffee from your coffee bar and walk back to our place,” Mark says. I didn’t agree to this plan, but I’m not complaining. I’d never turn down free coffee.</p><p>“Sure thing, butter bean,” Bob says, making Mark chuckle slightly. Bob parks in a student parking lot near their dorm, and we head into the common room of east housing two. “Mark, be a dear and get me a coffee, please,” Bob says in an oddly polite tone, then sits down with me at a seating area across the room from the coffee bar.</p><p>“I’m gonna go up and go back to sleep,” Tyler says groggily, bidding us all a goodbye before stepping into the elevator, which was just about to head up.</p><p>“Ok, Ethan,” Bob turns to me, a look of seriousness I’ve never seen on his face before. I get nervous for a second. “You don’t have to answer this, you don’t even have to tell me the truth…” There’s a pause, and I gulp as he checks over his shoulder to see that Mark is still making coffee, which he was. “Do our jokes bother you? Are you two actually a thing? Because I don’t want to offend you, we aren’t being malicious. We would tease both of you regardless of the gender of your partner,” He chuckles after that last bit, and I feel both embarrassed and touched by Bob’s words, a nervous chuckle leaving me.</p><p>“No, they don’t bother me, we’re not a thing,” I say with a small shake of my head. A look of something like surprise washes over his face, but he doesn’t say anything. “Thank you, though, for telling me that and checking in.</p><p>“Of course, man. I want you to feel welcomed and, like, safe in our friend group,” Bob says, and I give him a large smile.“But ya know, people can cuddle without being… <em>’together’</em>” I say with air quotes and a lackadaisical roll of my eyes. I’m not sure if I’m telling him that, or myself.</p><p>“Oh yeah I know, I wasn’t really just going off that, but clearly I was wrong,” He says, making me furrow my brows a bit in confusion. Did it really seem like we were a couple?</p><p>“Why did you think so?” I say, then add for good measure, “Just out of curiosity.”</p><p>“I dunno… he’s different around you. Not in a bad way, just, more relaxed? I’m not sure how to put it…” Bob says, seeming to try and think for the right words. “At the same time, though, it’s like he’s more worried about, I dunno, fucking up around you. I dunno, I think I was just reading into it too much, Mark is always a little different around new people for awhile, I guess,” he says, like he’s not really sure of that answer.</p><p>“Mmm, he’s probably just not comfortable with me yet,” I say with a shrug. Bob lets out a short laugh.</p><p>“Uh, personally, I’ve never seen someone cuddle with someone like that when they weren’t comfortable with them,” Bob says, making me think back over last night, heat rising to my face just at the thought. “But what do I know, right?”</p><p>“Here you go, Bob,” Mark says as he approaches us, holding out a coffee in one hand, and I sit up straight, moving away from Bob so it didn’t look like we were talking about anything serious. He grabs the coffee in the crook of his elbow with his newly free hand, passing it to me.</p><p>“Thanks,” I say, taking it and standing up with Bob, slipping my backpack back onto my back.</p><p>“Alright, see you guys later,” Bob says, taking a sip of his coffee and waving as he walks to the elevator. Mark and I say goodbye and head out the door, starting our walk to our dorm. On the walk back I can’t help but think about what Bob said. Maybe we really do act like a couple. I mean, I’ve definitely felt like he was doing flirtatious things before, but I’ve written it off as that’s just who Mark is. He always makes mildly flirtatious and sexual jokes with his friends, right? I thought a little harder, though, and I realized he really doesn’t, not in the same way he does with me. He may make sex jokes, but it’s rarely involving him and Bob, or him and Wade, and so on. I scrunched up my face, taking a big sip of my coffee. I was definitely just reading too far into this. I said it myself, people can cuddle without being ‘a thing.’</p><p>But, regardless how he feels about me, after last night and this morning, there really is no denying my feelings for him anymore. I’m infatuated with him. Even when he’s not around I find myself thinking of Mark. Any little detail I can, if it’s possible to relate what I’m doing to Mark, my brain will find a way. There’s no denying I have a crush on him, and a pretty big one too. But it will pass, like all crushes do when they’re unrequited. I just have to survive until then.</p><p>“Dude?” I blink when I realize Mark is snapping his fingers in front of my face. I shake my head a bit.</p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p>“Damn, where were you just now?” He asks, a faint chuckle. “I’ve been calling your name for, like, half a minute. And that was the <em>second</em> time I tried to get your attention.”</p><p>“I, uh, don’t know. I must just be really tired,” I say with a weak laugh after. I chug more of my coffee as we approach east housing one. We throw our empty coffee cups in the trash outside. Had I really zoned out this whole walk?</p><p>“Well, I was gonna suggest we watch a movie or something, but it looks like you need your sleep,” Mark says as we push through the doors and call the elevator.</p><p>“No, we should watch a movie,” I say, stepping in the elevator when it arrives. “Worst comes to worst I just fall asleep in the middle.”</p><p>“Ok, nothing scary this time, though,” Mark says, “I’m too worn out for that.” I nod in agreement, and when we get into our dorm I draw the curtains and lay on Mark’s bed, this time the proper way, setting up my laptop. Mark grabs the Brita (that I have yet to see him refill once, yet it’s always full) and fills up both of our water bottles, grabbing the blanket we used before and lying down next to me. He props the pillows up behind us so we’re half sitting up, our legs outstretched comfortably, and I lift up my laptop so he can lay the blanket over us. I try to ignore the raging rollercoaster in my stomach when he lets his arm wrap behind my shoulders, his hand falling carelessly on my collarbone. The room wasn’t quite dark enough to hide the redness in my face, even with the curtains drawn.</p><p>“It’s so easy to make you blush,” He comments, and even though I’m gluing my eyes to the screen searching for movies, I can tell he’s looking right at me, inspecting my face.</p><p>“Is not,” I mumble, knowing that it was a boldface lie.</p><p>“Oh really?” He says, almost as if I challenged him. I press my lips into a line and raise my eyebrows, staring at the screen and not reading any of the titles that pass by my eyes. “So I guess you won’t mind if I…” He leans in so close I can just barely feel his lips graze my ear, his voice going deadly quiet and low. The sound alone might have been enough to kill me. “get real close, like this?” Of course, he got his desired reaction, my face, neck and even my ears were burning up as if I had a fever.</p><p>“N-no,” I choke out, cursing myself for stuttering.</p><p>“Really?” He purrs in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Not even when I… do this?” The hand that was resting on my collarbone lightly traces up my throat, his fingers dancing across the curve of my Adam’s apple before finding their home where my neck meets my jawbone. His thumb brushes over my earlobe and onto my jaw, rubbing in slow circles there. I can’t hep but let my head fall back slightly, my eyes fluttering shut. God, what was he <em>doing</em>? Was he straight? Or was Bob right, and he might actually be into me? Either way, my head was spinning from his touch, which was now traveling down my throat, not squeezing, but ever so slightly tightening around the middle. I was glad the laptop was covering my lap, because my face was certainly not the only thing being affected by his actions. This made me blush more, getting embarrassed by how easy it is for him to turn me on.</p><p>I knew he asked me a question, but I felt like it wasn’t supposed to be answered. Plus, if I tried to speak right now I’m genuinely afraid a moan would escape. God, I wanted him to run his hands all over me. I swallow hard. I have a moment of bravery, and tear my gaze away from the screen, turning to look him in the eyes. Immediately, I regret the decision, because the way he’s looking at me is… hungry. I bite my lip, not able to stop myself from glancing at his, then flicking up quickly to meet his eyes again. He smirks, all while maintaining eye contact, his hand still holding around my throat, gingerly. Finally, he moves his hand from my throat and reaches up to ruffle my hair, his fingers lacing through it and pulling ever so slightly, just enough to make a small whimper escape my mouth. He smiles, one of smugness and… something else, before turning to look at my laptop screen.</p><p>“What movie are we watching?” Is all he asks, as if nothing happened, his hand still running through my hair and playing with it. I clear my throat and look at the screen as well, convinced I’ve never been redder than in this moment. Oh, and definitely hard. But it was still at a manageable level, as long as he didn’t pull anything like that again. I gulped hard before scrolling back to the top of the movies list, actually attempting to read the titles this time. We end up choosing a cheesy romantic comedy, one that we think won’t require a lot of brain power to watch. About fifteen minutes in, I move down a bit, not really wanting to sit up as much, Mark’s arm draped around my shoulder. Then, I decide if he’s going to be bold, then I can too. Straight guy likes getting his friend riled up? Well, he can tolerate me using him as a pillow. I rest my head on his chest, turning slightly so I can curl into him a bit. A smile spreads across my face when I hear his heart start racing. He moves his hand from my shoulder and starts playing with my hair again, and I feel tingles run through my body. I pull my arm out from where it had been tucked between us, stretching it out and resting it on his stomach. Another triumphant smile on my face when his heart picks up again.</p><p>“You don’t mind, do you?” I ask, knowing he probably doesn’t, but wanting to give him the option to stop all of this right now if he wants.</p><p>“Hm?” He seems caught off guard, like he was lost in thought. “Oh, no.”</p><p>“Cool,” I say with a relaxed sigh, not focusing on the movie even one little bit. I start tracing patterns over his shirt with my thumb, once again his heart beginning to barrel in his chest. I liked this position, it gave me a vantage point on how he was feeling, because otherwise he was fucking unreadable. Mark trails his hand from my hair down the back of my neck, to my back, and under the blanket, stopping on my lower side, almost on my hip. My shirt was hitching up just a bit, leaving a small sliver of skin exposed. Mark slides his thumb slowly under my shirt, rubbing circles at the exposed skin. It sends a shiver through my body, most likely caused by the firecrackers going off in my head and chest. Soon, his whole hand has moved under my shirt and is rubbing back and forth in slow, wide motions over my side and ribs. My breathing is erratic and quick, my own heart thundering in my chest while Mark’s own pounds against my ear. I stretch my arm over his whole stomach, up his chest, my fingers dancing over his exposed collar bones, then coming back down to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. I couldn’t dare bring myself to do what he had done and move my hands underneath it; it felt too bold. Like this would suddenly cross into territory that would give him reason to be weirded out.</p><p>I shift a bit to bend one of my legs, it getting stiff from being straightened, which means I have to put some space between Mark and I. However, he seems to not agree with that, because he takes his free hand (the one not running all over my bare chest currently) and hooks it behind my bent knee, pulling my leg onto him. I let out a quiet, surprised yelp. I am now, essentially, koala hugging him, equal parts of my body on him as are on the mattress. And now the hand that pulled my leg over is running slowly up and down my bare thigh, the other hand holding me tightly around the middle, still under my shirt.</p><p>You see, this is a very precarious situation, because my body is absolutely intoxicated from how much physical contact I have with him. One wrong (or right) move from him, and he will <em>very</em> quickly feel just how much he affects me, as it will be sticking into his side.</p><p>“You don’t mind, do you?” He all but purs, his hand continuing to travel up and down my thigh in a slow, sensual motion.</p><p>“N-no” I stutter, my face heating. His hand drifts up further than it had been going, practically cupping my ass, but going back down just as soon as it reaches dangerous territory. I can’t help but let out a whimper, and feel my lower stomach stirring with that familiar pulling I feel before I get hard. Something tells me if I let it get to that point, I won’t be able to get rid of it so easily this time. I will it away, trying desperately not to focus on Mark’s hand moving up and down my thigh, now pressing harder, almost as if he’s gripping at it. When his thumb under my shirt swipes dangerously close to my nipple, I literally have to bury my face in his stomach and physically bite my tongue to keep from making a noise. I hear and feel a soft chuckle come from him, one that isn’t just of amusement, at least not in a comedic way.</p><p>If it weren’t for me hearing confirmation from his heart beats, I’d swear he’s doing this with no effect on himself, all as some cruel game to tease me. He must be attracted to me in some way, right? How could you be doing all of this with someone you only view as a friend? Or am I just being hopeful, imagining things that aren’t really there? Is this what close friends are like? I suppose I wouldn’t really know. Then, he moves his hand from the front of my torso to my lower back, fingers running dangerously close to the waistband of my underwear. I even think his pinky dips under it for a split second. My breath hitches as his hand goes up my bare back, wrapping around my neck from behind. He doesn’t apply a lot of pressure, just enough to be holding me firmly, but it’s enough to make me go wild, and it’s getting harder and harder to not… well, get hard. I was cursing myself for wearing sweat shorts and not jeans, because at least then I would have more fabric between us. He runs the hand on my neck back down to the small of my back, his thumb tracing over my hip bone which is, thankfully, covered.However, my stamina is inevitably broken into pieces when he runs his hand up my thigh and instead of going over my sweat shorts, allows his hand to run under them, gripping my upper thigh harder when he arrives there, before running back down. I whimper again at his touch, face heating as I can feel my dick stir. I couldn’t help but squirm under his touch, rocking ever so slightly on his hip when he grabbed my thigh. His heart beat was going just as fast and loud as mine, now, and I can’t control myself. I run my hand down his shirt until I reach the hem, dipping under and exploring his bare chest with my hand. His own hand under my shirt runs up until his thumb just <em>barely</em> grazes my nipple, making me let out a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan. I bury my face in his shirt out of embarrassment. He swipes his thumb over it again, this time with more intention. I can’t help but rock against him again as he does that. I have to put an end to this now, or I’m going to end up getting us into a situation that’s really embarrassing.</p><p>“I-If you k-keep d-doing that--” I flush at how much my voice shakes, his thumb brushing passed my nipple over and over as he grips my upper thigh under my shorts.</p><p>“Hm?” He asks, more like a challenge as he starts fully rubbing circles around my nipple with his thumb. I let out what I can only, shamefully, describe as a moan, rocking back and forth slightly on his leg when he grips my thigh harder. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” His voice is filled with a dark amusement, it somehow smoothe and gruff at the same time. I can’t even answer his question, because in one swift motion his hand goes down my thigh, then back over my shorts where he grips my ass hard, pushing my hips down into him. I cry out, a choked noise of surprise leaving me. I was almost fully hard now, which was making things all the more embarrassing and enjoyable for me.</p><p>“Are you okay with that?” He asks suddenly, stopping all of his hand movements.</p><p>“Y-yes,” I barely get out, nodding furiously just in case I wasn’t audible, my body aching for him to keep going.</p><p>Mark’s hand goes down my thigh again, his other thumb still mercilessly rubbing circles around my nipple, and when his thigh goes back up, he goes under my shorts and grips my ass like before-- but this time slightly harder. I rock against him, needing friction-- just <em>something</em> or I was going to explode. I moan as he pushes my hips down into him again. This whole time I’ve stopped moving my hand on his chest because I couldn’t get my mind to do anything else, but now, I want to mess with him just as much as he messed with me. I run my hands up his bare chest, running my own thumb over his nipple. I hear a faint breath escaping his mouth, his heart racing like a horse. I lower myself just slightly so I can wedge the leg he’s been rubbing in between his thighs. The laptop was forgotten, fallen to the side as I was now basically lying on top of him. Both of his hands went to grip either sides of my ass, forcing me to move my hips up and down slowly against his thigh. He moved his grip up slowly, kneading my ass and pulling my shorts and boxer briefs up so he was gripping my bare ass. I let out a moan as I pressed my leg into his dick, slowly. Both of my hands were now rubbing his nipples, my face buried in his neck. I was pleased that through his own athletic shorts, I could tell he was also pretty hard. I tilted my head and buried my mouth in the crook of his neck, moaning into it as he rocked my hips up and down, back and forth. His hands were massaging my ass still, spreading and pushing and pulling them at his own will, and it was driving me insane.</p><p>At this point, I was rock hard, and couldn’t contain the whines escaping my mouth with every rock of my hips. He was letting out intermittent grunts every time I paid extra attention to his dick, rubbing my thigh against it over and over. Even though he initiated this, I couldn’t help but be embarrassed when my shorts started getting wet from precum, and my whines were becoming more and more frequent and needy.</p><p>“MMM…” I groan loudly as Mark moves my hips faster and faster, “MMMark--” I moan out in what is halfway between a whine and a gasp. He moans slightly after I say his name, the noise rumbling through his chest and into my body. I tilt my head up, something coming over me, as I take his earlobe lightly in between my teeth, tugging only the slightest amount. This is the first proper moan he lets out, and it’s delectable. I decide I must hear it again, doing the same thing but just a little bit harder. He let’s out another softer moan, which might as well go straight to my dick. I whine, rocking harder and harder into him, knowing that if things keep going like this I was going to cum all over my shorts and probably him, but not having the strength to stop myself. God, where was that self control from this morning? I can’t help myself, and reach one of my hands down, palming Mark through his shorts. He lets out a choked moan, which sends shocks throughout my whole body. I bite lightly at the skin just below his jaw, rubbing my hand against his dick, which was just as hard as mine. He lets out a gasp, pushing my hips harder and faster, ramming my dick against his thigh. I rub harder and faster as well, making his hips buck against me, his own shorts becoming wet with precum. Soon, I feel that familiar feeling pooling in my abdomen, and I know that soon the inevitable was going to happen.</p><p>“M-Mark--” I moan out, making him push my hips even faster, gripping my ass so hard I know I’ll be sore-- but I don’t care, “I-I’m gonna c-cum,” I breath, and he moans before suddenly pushing me back so I was sitting up on him, no longer able to palm him. For the first time, he looks me in the eyes, and my face heats up more than it ever has. He takes his hand and starts palming me through my shorts, fast and hard. The moans are coming out of me at double time, and much louder too. I reach my hands up to cover my face in embarrassment, melting under his stare. He takes his free hand and pulls my hand away, easily holding both my wrists in front of me in one hand.</p><p>“Cum for me,” Is all he says, his voice low and demanding, and that’s all it takes to send me over the edge. Before I know it, I’m letting out a series of loud moans-- no, <em>cries</em> of pleasure-- my dick twitching and pumping cum all over my shorts, soaking through to Mark’s hand, my body shaking in waves of pleasure. I can’t help but collapse forward onto Mark’s chest, his hands going back to give my ass one last strong grip. I’m panting, and he’s panting, and I can feel on my leg that he’s still as hard as a rock. Before I give myself the chance to be embarrassed, I sit up and look at him through halflidded eyes. He’s staring at me like he’s ravenous. Keeping eye contact, I reach down and grab his dick through his shorts. He gasps, and I get excited just from how wet he is with precum. I lean forward, tilting my head down and licking along his jaw, around his earlobe, and then biting lightly as I pump his cock. I sit back so I can look at him again, driven crazy by how he looks receiving pleasure. His head was tilted back slightly, mouth parted and ragged breaths spilling from it. I tighten my grip just a bit, speeding up my strokes, his knees bending slightly, and small noises escaping from his mouth. I’m still staring at his face, but now his eyes are closed and his head thrown back more.</p><p>“Are you going to cum?” I pur into his ear, biting at the lobe again. He lets out a moan. I move to the other ear, my voice lower this time, “Or should I put you in my mouth and let you come down my throat?” With that, his knees pull up and I feel his dick throb repeatedly, cum seeping through the thin material of his shorts and soaking my hand. The face he made while spilling into my hand was almost enough to get me hard again. I pull away, sitting back, suddenly all the embarrassment I didn’t feel in those last few minutes catching up to me. He’s panting, and looking up at me, but I can’t meet his gaze.</p><p>“Oh, so now you’re shy?” He asks with a chuckle. My face heats up and I feel like I need to scream when I think about how he saw me cum. How <em>easily</em> he made me cum. “Gotta say, didn’t think you’d have that side to you, Nestor,” He’s never called me by my last name, and something about it makes my stomach flip.</p><p>“I… I don’t really,” I say, looking anywhere but at his face.</p><p>“Uh-huh, you just made me cum without taking off my pants,” He says matter of factly, his hands going up to rest on my hips. He’s staring at me, but I’m just looking down, trying to fight off the heatwave my body is experiencing. “And you, so needy,” He says, sitting up and pulling me fully onto his lap. When I look to the side, he moves one hand from my hip to cup my jaw, making me look at him. I know my face is a red, sweaty mess. “Hey, were you okay with that?” Suddenly his voice was soft, and I felt my heart soar again. All I could do was stare back at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw.</p><p>“Yeah, I definitely was, it’s just... “ I trail off, looking down at both of our laps, which were thoroughly soaked with cum. “Embarrassing. That you… saw me like that.” Mark chuckles. Although, the fact that it was embarrassing was also part of what made it so… intense.</p><p>“Oh, you whining and whimpering? Rubbing your cock back and forth against my leg, so desperately?” He asks, and I feel my face heat even more, something I didn’t know was possible. I bury my face in my hands. Reliving it was also getting me hot and bothered again, and I’m not sure my heart could take another round. “Or was it how needy you were, cumming into my hand and soaking through your shorts?” He continues when I don’t answer.</p><p>“Uh… all of the above?” I say meekly, finally looking up at him.</p><p>“Well, if it makes you feel better…” He leans in, his lips next to my ear and whispers, “I thought you looked fucking fantastic.” I gulp, eyes wide and stomach fluttering.</p><p>“Whatever, you came through your shorts, too,” I grumbled, leaning back and looking away, blush still firmly in place.</p><p>“Yeah, who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” He said with a wide smile, still not looking away from me, his hands holding where my thighs meet my hips. “Ethan?” He purrs in that sickeningly intoxicating tone of his, making me look at him. He’s leaning so close that the tip of his nose is almost touching mine. Then, he kisses me. Just like that. It’s firm, and longer than a peck, but still much too quick for me. I feel tingles shoot throughout my whole body, my heart skipping a beat and my breath catching in my throat. It felt like I had been struck by lightening, in the best fucking way possible. I find myself chasing after his lips when he pulls away, stopping myself before I fall into him. He looks down at both of our laps. “Well, we should probably shower,” He says, and I can’t even get myself to nod back, so thrown off by that kiss. It’s then that I hear the laptop for the first time since we essentially started the movie, the end credits music rolling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you all for such nice comments!!! yall have been so sweet, it warms my heart :D i hope this chapter was good, again, its been awhile since ive written smut so im sorry if its cringey or sucks lmao. also lmk if u consider this light, moderate, or heavy smut! personally i think its pretty light, but id like ur opinions, and if i should --go deeper-- or keep it about the same levels of smut (it wont be every chapter, but we can get more intense if yall so please!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Cowboy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys group up at Wade and Sean's place again, homoeroticism ensues.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I haven’t gotten that day out of my mind. Granted, it was only a few days ago, and besides the typical joke flirting, Mark and I haven’t really done anything else, so I don’t have anything else to think of. More than anything, I’ve been thinking about what I am to Mark. I obviously can’t keep believing he’s straight-- no straight guy just does that, no matter how much they say it’s just bros helpin’ bros. But just because he’s not straight doesn’t mean he doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend and something to hook up with. I’m not sure how much experience Mark has, but that was only my third time being with a guy-- my first time being with a guy that I actually like. Hell, that’s the <em>least</em> I’ve ever done with a guy, but I can say it was by far the best hookup with one. Maybe with anyone, regardless of gender. And while I know my feelings are growing for Mark, the thought of getting into a relationship with him is… scary. I finally have this amazing group of friends, who really seem to care about me as much as I care about them. I mean, Mark might as well be considered my best friend, for fuck’s sake, and I’ve gone against the one thing I’ve always been told: never sleep with your friends.</p><p>It never ends well. Whether I’ve seen it in shows or in the friend groups that I was never really a part of, it always goes wrong. Both people (or all people, if that’s the way your boat floats) think they can handle it, but inevitably someone can’t. Someone gets too invested. Then someone gets hurt. Then the person who is hurt usually gets cut out of the group, especially if they’re the newest member. And between the two of us? I’d say I’m definitely going to be the one who gets overly attached, and not Mark. Plus, Bob already thinks we’re a thing-- and maybe the others too. So do we have to tell them now? If we tell them, then it’s for sure going to be awkward when shit inevitably hits the fan. Me probably being the fan. What if telling them throws off our dynamic before things get bad, anyway? See, the endless possibilities of wrong are just swarming my head.</p><p>And, you see, perhaps I would talk to Mark about this, but by the time I realized it was a conversation I needed to have, it was a bit too late. Tomorrow’s one of those random school holidays that no one really knows why we get off, but no one complains because hey, no classes. So now, here I am, in the backseat of Bob’s car next to Mark, Tyler in the passenger seat again, all of us headed to Wade and Sean’s for another game night. I was of course looking forward to hanging out with everyone again, and getting to know Sean better, but now I felt hyper aware of my actions around Mark. And oh boy, if I thought the blushing was a problem before, I know it’s gonna be a nightmare now. I want to keep anything that Mark and I have secret, at least for now, but I unfortunately have that stupid built in lie detector, also known as my skin. Once again, I can’t help but feel like Pinochio. Ugh, wish someone would just throw me in the wood chipper already.</p><p>“Did Ethan take a Xanax, or something?” Bob teases. “I haven’t heard you this quiet since, like, ever.”</p><p>“Probably my fault, I kept him up last night,” Mark said casually, not hearing how it came off. Tyler and Bob laughed, me turning bright red and shooting Mark a look. He catches on. “Not like <em>that</em>, you pervs. We watched some movie about these two college students.”</p><p>“How meta of you,” Tyler comments, making me chuckle. Even when my head is a dumpster fire, they all still know how to cheer me up. Soon we reach their apartment building, and are welcomed in by Sean, Wade in the kitchen.</p><p>“Welcome, boys, for a night of drinks and probably some homoerotic tension,” Sean says, opening the door with an over the top gesture to welcome us in. I can’t help but snort.</p><p>“What’s game night without some gay tendencies, amiright?” I say, flopping down on the comfy small couch.</p><p>“Here, here!” Sean cheers in a dramatic, saucy voice, closing the door once we all file in. Mark takes his seat next to me, and while he’s close, I’m glad he’s taken it upon himself to not sit right up on me (something he has gotten in the habit of doing, not that I mind, usually.)</p><p>“Look who made pizza bagels!” Wade calls from the kitchen, quickly ushering in a plate of steaming pizza bagels and placing them on the counter. I let out an inhuman groan of excitement, unable to contain myself as I reach for one.</p><p>“I fuckin’ love pizza bagels--” I grab one and shove it in my mouth, Wade yelling in protest, but it was too late. Instantly my eyes begin to water. I start making incoherent grunting noises, trying to say ‘it’s hot,’ nothing but squawks coming out, my arms flapping ridiculously. I run to the kitchen sink and spit it out, instantly sticking my head under the faucet and letting cold water run into my mouth. I let out a sigh of relief when the pain subsides.</p><p>“I tried to warn you, they’re like fresh out of the oven,” Wade said from the living room.</p><p>“Ya know, usually, when you see steam rising off of food, you don’t shove it into your mouth whole hog,” Mark says in this tone like he’s dropping valuable knowledge. I flip him off, my head still under the faucet. I try and speak, only gurgling noises coming out. I hear laughter from the living room.</p><p> “What was that? I’m sorry, I don’t speak fool,” Bob adds, making me laugh and spit water back up into the air. I choke and pull out from the faucet, turning it off. The laughter has only grown.</p><p>“Jesus, we gotta be careful or Ethan’s gonna end up dead by the end of the night,” Sean laughs as I walk back into the living room. I push all the air out of my lungs, letting out a high pitched “HOOOO” as I plop myself down beside Mark, who is looking at me with stifled laughter. Everyone was looking at me, and I felt in a daze from the amount of chaos that just happened back to back.</p><p>“You should wait for those to cool down,” I say with a wave at the plate, a smile tugging on my lips. This causes everyone to erupt into laughter, Mark doing my favorite laugh of his; when he leans back slightly, his head thrown back, his eyes squinted shut, and laughs bubbling out of him as if his diaphragm is trying to expel them into the air like a fountain.</p><p>“Okay, I know we usually start with video games, but why don’t we start with a good ol’ fashion game of Never Have I Ever?” Wade says, looking around the room for agreement.</p><p>“Alright, drinking game rules, right? No fingers, just shots?” Bob asks.</p><p>“That’s what I was thinkin’,” Wade nods, all of us voicing our agreement as well. And so once again tequila was on the table, limes were out, and shot glasses were lined up.</p><p>“Ok, wait I always get it turned around. Someone says something they haven’t done, and if you’ve done that you take a drink?” I ask for confirmation.</p><p>“Yes, otherwise it would just be called ‘I Have’,” Sean says, making me chuckle.</p><p>“Fair,” I say, instantly chorusing along with everyone else in saying “is fair!” Mark just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Let’s play a separate drinking game for the whole night, take a shot every time Mark says ‘fair is fair’,” Tyler says, all of us chuckling.</p><p>“I’m down, but I hope y’all are ready for alcohol poisoning,” Bob says, preemptively pouring his first shot.</p><p>“I do not say it that much,” Mark mutters, going to pour his shot as well.</p><p>“Uh-huh, sure,” Sean says, Mark just making a face back at him.</p><p>“Yeah, and Ethan <em>never</em> blushes,” Wade says, and I put my hand over my heart in mock offense.</p><p>“How <em>dare</em> you, Wade!” I exclaim, voice pitched high and squeaky. “I thought we had an alliance!”</p><p>“Well, tonight it’s every man for himself,” Wade said defiantly.</p><p>I lean forward, my jaw going slack and squinting my eyes as I point a wavering finger at Wade. “I’ll remember this,” I say in a stage whisper. “Wade starts,” I say in the tone of a tattling toddler, sitting up straight again. This causes Wade to laugh.</p><p>“Ok, never have I ever… I dunno, uh… sucked a dick in a backbend,” He says, shaking his head.</p><p>“C’mon!” Sean exclaims.</p><p>“What a throw away turn!” Bob criticizes, but the room goes silent, all except for the sound of me pouring a shot. I look up to realize everyone was looking at me, Mark in a way of both confusion and wonderment. I look around and sheepishly place the tequila back on the table. Everyone bursts into laughter.</p><p>“What?” I ask, a smile on my face. “I thought we were supposed to be honest, god, my bad.” I wave my hands in mock defense, pulling a face.</p><p>“...In a backbend?” Is all Tyler says when the laughter fades away, causing me to laugh again.</p><p>“How did I get that right?” Wade asks, followed by a chuckle.”I literally said the first thing that came to my mind.”</p><p>“I only just recently stopped being a gymnast,” I say with a quirk of my eyebrow, throwing the shot back and wincing, it taking just a bit too long to get the lime into my mouth.</p><p>“That’s… impressive,” Bob says, seeming surprisingly genuine. I look over to see Sean trying to arch backwards, opening his mouth wide, as if trying to figure it out in real time. He stops when he sees us looking at him.</p><p>“What? I’m a visual learner,” he says simply, causing an eruption of high pitched laughter to leave my body. Just then, I feel a vibration from my phone in my back pocket. It’s from Mark. I look over with a raised eyebrow to see him putting his phone away, but he doesn’t even look at me. I wanted to ask why we’re whispering, but decided just to open the text instead.</p><p>
  <strong>Mark: I better see that in action sometime soon, or I’m gonna assume ur bullshitting</strong>
</p><p>This brings a smile to my face, as well as a blush. I shoot back a quick reply before putting my phone back in my pocket.</p><p>
  <strong>Hmmm… maybe u will, if ur lucky</strong>
</p><p>Mark pulls out his phone, checks his screen, then smirks, putting his phone back in his pocket. It was Sean’s turn after Wade’s, us moving counterclockwise.</p><p>“Never have I ever… been so drunk I tried to flirt with a coat rack,” Sean says, Wade spinning to look at him.</p><p>“That was <em>one</em> time and it had a hat on top,” Wade defended, making all of us laugh.</p><p>“Well, unfortunately for you the game is ‘Never Have I Ever’ instead of ‘Not More Than Once Have I’,” Tyler chimes in, making me laugh even more.</p><p>“Yeah, drink up, buttercup,” Sean says, pushing the tequila bottle toward Wade, who pours his drink and quickly takes the shot, shoving the lime all the way in his mouth after. It was now Bob’s turn.</p><p>“Never have I ever… done drugs, weed and nicotine count, caffeine doesn’t,” Bob clarifies. Tyler, Sean, and I pour ourselves shots.</p><p>“What drugs have you done?” Mark asks me, speaking up for the first time in awhile.</p><p>“Crack cocaine, obviously,” I say completely serious before throwing the shot back, scrunching up my face and sticking out my tongue after. This elicits a laugh out of Mark. “Nah, but actually just weed.” It was now onto Tyler’s turn.</p><p>“Ok… never have I ever… felt the sensual embrace of a man,” he says, and I can’t help but laugh at the phrasing as I pour myself a shot.</p><p>“What counts as sensual? Because, ya know, the doctors get real up close and personal,” Sean comments, thrusting his hand in an upward motion, making all of us laugh.</p><p>“Non-medical,” Tyler clarifies. I do a double take when I realize Mark is pouring a shot. I wondered if I was his only… encounter… with a man. I figured he would keep anything involving us quiet. Mark taking a shot for this question elicits some raised eyebrows from the group, and I swear that Sean and Bob share a look, but no one presses the matter. I quickly take my shot, sucking down on a lime after. And now, it was Mark’s turn.</p><p>“Never have I ever been to a strip club,” Mark says, and everyone except he and I pour a drink. He pulls out his phone and types something, and before he even puts it back in his pocket I feel mine vibrate. I pull it out and read the screen.</p><p>
  <strong>Mark: gay strip clubs count</strong>
</p><p>I slip my phone back in my pocket and mutter “Still haven’t been to one,” with a smug smile. Everyone that needs to take their shots and finally, it is my turn.</p><p>“Never have I ever… uh… bought a vibrator and tried to claim it’s a back massager,” I say, staring down at Mark. He whips his head to me, shock, betrayal, and a bit of embarrassment on his face.</p><p>“Wh-What? It <em>is</em> a back massager,” His voice is high pitched and his hands are gesturing in front of him as he blinks rapidly. Everyone else laughs, Sean and Bob chorusing an “Oooooo.”</p><p>“We share. A room. Mark,” I lean forward, not able to stop the smile spreading across my face. And god, what a torturous night that was. All I remember is the faint buzzing, his breaths getting quicker and more ragged, and the moan he let out when he finished. He thought I was asleep, but how could I sleep through someone not trying to be quiet at all. It also left me painfully uncomfortable for the rest of the night. After all, I wasn’t about to risk him hearing me jack off after hearing him.</p><p>“Damn, he got you good, Mark!” Bob was giggling like a schoolgirl, it bubbling and becoming more of a loud wheeze.</p><p>“He didn’t get me at all!” Mark turns to the rest of the room, trying to defend, then back to me, narrowing his eyes. “I’m gonna get you for this,” He says, pointing at me like a super villain. I give him a challenging smile, before pouring him a shot and pushing it towards him. He takes it and shoves a lime in his mouth. Now it was back to Wade, and because I had managed to down most of the shots, the group agreed that I could go a while without drinking. The catch is, I have to loudly proclaim “I have done this!” anytime I should be taking a drink. Thank god though, I could tell I was already pretty close to being one-eyed-drunk; when you’re so drunk you can see better after closing one eye. I don’t drink much and I’m small, at least I can recognize that liquor knocks me on my ass.</p><p>“Never have I ever…” Half way through waiting for Wade to think of a question, my body decided it no longer wanted to hold itself up, so I slumped into the couch all at once, hitting it with a thud and making Mark jump at how quickly I moved. I swung my legs absentmindedly over the edge of the couch. “Had a threesome.” There’s silence as we wait for someone to pour a drink (or for me to exclaim,) but then Bob breaks it.</p><p>“I think if any of us had had a threesome, the rest of us would never hear the end of it,” Bob says, making Sean and I laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, especially if that threesome involved Mark,” Tyler says, making Bob laugh.</p><p>“Exactly. It would be ‘fair is fair’ on steroids,” Bob says, eliciting more laughs from the group.</p><p>“You would only be so lucky as to hear about the magnificence that is my sexcapades,” Mark says with a gloating face, making me snort. He turns to me, holding this eye contact that makes my stomach stir. “Oh, something to say, Chuckles?” I laugh at the nickname.</p><p>“Hey man, I’m just sitting,” is all I say, trying not to let myself stare at his eyes for too long.</p><p>“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought,” Mark says in this defiant-child-tone he gets when someone is questioning his greatness in any area. To be fair, I definitely wasn’t questioning his skills in <em>that</em> area.</p><p>“Alright enough flirting, it’s my turn,” Sean says, and I go beet red. I spare a glance at Mark and see him over dramatically roll his eyes. I can’t tell if it’s the alcohol, but I see that his cheeks are tinted pink, as well. “Never have I ever… hooked up in public.”</p><p>“What counts as ‘hooking up’?” I ask immediately, feeling just conscious enough to sit up again.</p><p>“Anything passed making out,” Sean clarifies, and I let out a sigh.</p><p>“I have done this!” I raise my hand and call out triumphantly, before leaning back against the couch and spreading my arms across the back.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, here I am thinking Ethan’s the most innocent,” Bob says, making me blush ever so slightly.</p><p>“Is that really that out of the ordinary?” I ask.</p><p>“Not really but it just doesn’t… fit you,” Tyler says, pouring himself a shot. I nod, thinking I understand what he means. I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but I swear Mark has inched closer to me at some point. Now, when he spreads his legs just a bit more, our knees touch. Considering what we’ve done, this shouldn’t send energy all throughout my body, but it feels like I’m a raw nerve anytime Mark touches me in the slightest way.</p><p>“I am also surprised by Tyler taking a shot,” Wade says, and Sean scoffs.</p><p>“I’m not. The quiet ones are always the freakiest,” Sean says with a chuckle.</p><p>“Ok, never have I ever…” Bob trails, thinking of something to say, “experimented with BDSM.” There’s a chorus of “oooo’s,” Tyler whistling.</p><p>“What counts as BDSM?” Sean asks. “Like, are handcuffs and stuff like that considered BDSM still?”</p><p>“Choking, any form of restraints, anything involving pain more than, like, I dunno hair pulling,” Bob clarifies.</p><p>“I have done this!” I exclaim with a half raised arm, feeling myself go red as I let my arm fall back onto the back of the couch. Mark and Sean both take shots, wincing afterwards. I quirk my eyebrow at Mark, but decided I don’t want to go there with what would no doubt be considered eye-fucking. When Mark leans back against the couch he lets his head fall back, and I feel his hair tickle my arm as he rests his head against it. I silently curse the butterflies in my stomach, trying to act as non-phased as possible. This shouldn’t even have an effect on me, but for some reason, it still does. What’s worse, is now he doesn’t even have to be full man-spread for our knees to be touching. I wondered how he had managed to move over so smoothly, me not even noticing. I hoped it was the same for the others.</p><p>“I’m gonna have to switch to the ‘I have done this’ method, by the way,” Mark says, all of us nodding in acknowledgement.</p><p>“I’m surprised you last this many rounds, considering how rarely you drink,” Tyler says, and I nod in agreement.</p><p>“Must be because of my bulging muscles,” Mark says simply, making me erupt in laughter.</p><p>“You’re truly insufferable,” Sean says, a smile on his face as he shakes his head. Mark chuckles that closed-mouth laugh he does, and I have to force myself to look away when I realize I’m staring at his face.</p><p>“Ok, my turn,” Tyler says, sitting forward. “Never have I ever stolen a dog,” He says, raising his eyebrows at Sean. Sean makes a choked noise of offense and disbelief.</p><p>“You <em>stole</em> a <em>dog</em>?” I ask, wide eyed as I stare at Sean.</p><p>“Hey! He’s making it seem <em>way</em> worse than it was!” Sean says, leaning forward in his chair as he defends himself.</p><p>“Wow, can’t believe Sean’s a dog stealer,” Bob says, a chuckle rising when he sees the reaction it gets out of Sean.</p><p>“I am not a <em>dog stealer</em>! It didn’t have a collar! I thought it was up for grabs!” He continues to defend, gesturing wildly.</p><p>“Well, ya still grabbed it so drink up,” Wade says, all of us thoroughly entertained by what was unfolding in front of us.</p><p>“Fine, but I did not <em>purposefully</em> steal a dog,” he says, pouring a shot and throwing it back, before letting out a loud “WOO!” Then he adds, “And the little girl got it back the same day,” making us all burst into laughter.</p><p>“You stole a dog from a little girl?” Mark chokes out after his laughs die down.</p><p>“HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA SAY I DIDN’T STEAL SHIT?” Sean yells in defense, laughing through his own words. This makes Bob go into one of his infectious laughter fits. I bury my face in the hand Mark isn’t leaning on, trying to stop laughter from shaking my whole body, not realizing I was also leaning somewhat into Mark to hide the redness in my face that the lack of air had caused. I feel my head come in contact with his strong chest, which is still moving up and down from his own laughter. Finally, it all dies down, and I sit back up with a loud sigh, thankful to finally breathe again.</p><p>“Jesus, that almost killed me,” Wade said, some left over chuckles still leaving him.</p><p>“Hoo, okay,” Bob breathes, finally gaining control of his own laughter. “Mark, go before I black out.”</p><p>“Ok, ok,” Mark says, still smiling. “Never have I ever...” then, he composes himself, turning and meeting my eyes, which were already firmly fixed on him. I feel that familiar, faint spark of electricity shoot through me at the eye contact. <em>Oh no,</em> I think  “been a submissive little bitch.” His mouth is smiling like it’s a joke, which I assume was for the others, but his eyes were saying something much darker. Something that made my face and neck burst into flames, and my thighs tingle. My mouth just hangs open, and I know I have to bring this back, because that alone is giving way too much away.</p><p>“I… told you that in confidence!” I say, pressing my lips together and giving him a look that I hope says ‘you’re so dead,’ while also saying ‘for the love of god go along with it.’ I’ve never thought that quick on my feet before, and I’m surprised it didn’t turn into a ‘I peed on my pillow’ fiasco. Personally I’m not even certain I was being that submissive... He quirks an eyebrow so slightly that I’m not sure if I just imagined it.</p><p>“Well, now I’m airing it out in confidence,” Mark says, earning a small laugh from Bob. “Told you I was gonna get you for that last one.” Mark gives a sickly sweet smile, which makes my stomach do flips in a whole different way.</p><p>“As much as I love you embarrassing Ethan, for the rest of us, what does being ‘a submissive little bitch’ entail?” Bob asks, air quotes and all.</p><p>“This can be a bit of personal opinion so you can each determine, but enjoying being dominated, even if you aren’t necessarily the one… bottoming,” Mark says with a meek sort of laugh, finally breaking the eye contact between us to address Bob.</p><p>“Well, I think it’s a bit self explanatory, but so no one gets on my ass,” I raise my free hand half heartedly and roll my eyes, much less enthusiastic, “I have done this.” Mark is so lucky I was able to save that. Or at least, I hope I was. To my surprise, I wasn’t the only one, though. Sean was pouring himself a shot. I quirked my eyebrow at him.</p><p>“What? Can’t a guy like a woman in charge?” He asks, throwing the shot back and barely flinching this time.</p><p>“Hey, fair is fair,” I say smoothly, earning the lightest thump on the back of the head from Mark. It didn’t hurt at all, making me laugh and look at him. He lets his arm fall behind my head, now stretching it over my arms, which were still draped across the back of the couch. “Alright, my turn. Never have I ever...“ I tried to think of something that would embarrass Mark without also giving me away, but it was rather challenging. Especially since a lot of the things I couldn’t say I’ve never done. Mark was sitting up more now, so I let my hand grab the back of the couch, allowing my elbow to get some bend after being straightened for so long. “Oh, jacked off while someone else was in the room,” I say once it comes to me, looking at Mark with a challenging face. He rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, c’mon, it <em>technically</em> wasn’t jacking off, since it was with a back massager,” He defends, voice going high pitched and making me laugh.</p><p>“Judges?” I ask, looking at the other with raised eyebrows. All their words lap over each other, all agreeing with me.</p><p>“That totally fuckin’ counts,” Bob says with a disgusted face.</p><p>“You’re foul,” Sean says, shaking his head with a chuckle.</p><p>“Even I wouldn’t do that,” Wade teases, Tyler just nodding in agreement. I look back at him with a triumphant smile.</p><p>“Ok, fine, whatever,” Mark says with a roll of his eyes, his face definitely tinted pink.</p><p>“Say it…” I coo, looking at him expectantly.</p><p>“Oh, c’mon it’s implied,” Mark defends.</p><p>“Hey, you gotta own your shame, man,” Bob chuckles. I nod enthusiastically.</p><p>“Fine,” he all but pouts, raising the hand that I’m not leaning against. “I have done this,” He says with yet another roll of his eyes. It circles back to Wade, and I realize that now with my elbow bent, they all can't see the hand I have placed behind Mark. I can’t help but take my thumb and brush it slowly back and forth over his shoulder blades. I don’t look at him as I do this, acting thoroughly invested in what Wade is saying, but I see him glance at me and his body stiffen for a moment, before he looks straight ahead and relaxes into my touch. My thumb keeps tracing random patterns, and I’m positive I haven’t heard a word Wade has said. Apparently, I’m not the only one.</p><p>“Mark?” Bob asks, and I see Mark sort of jolt back to the moment, blinking a few times.</p><p>“Hm?” he asks simply, looking at Bob. I don’t stop what I’m doing behind the scenes, not able to contain a small smile creeping across my face from my simple success.</p><p>“Sean just totally called you out and you didn’t notice,” Bob says with an amused look, everyone else grinning as well.</p><p>“Oh, sorry I zoned out. What’d you say?” Mark chuckles, and I silently curse him for being able to play things off so casually.</p><p>“I said ‘never have I ever been so obsessed with myself that I flex and kiss my muscles any chance I get’,” Sean says with his own chuckle, making me laugh.</p><p>“You’ve done that like three times in the past <em>day</em>,” I say, laughing at Mark, who starts laughing as well.</p><p>“Alright, you got me there,” He says, raising his free arm as again, “I have done this! And will continue to do so because how could you not with a body this phenomenal,” He flexes his free arm, earning a groan from all of us.</p><p>“Insufferable,” Sean says again, pointing his hand at Mark. Mark just laughs.</p><p>“Alright, I dunno about y’all but I’m pretty drunk,” Bob says. “Wanna do something that requires less brain power?”</p><p>“Yes please,” Tyler speaks up, having been in his own zone-out session.</p><p>“Yeah coming up with something new is becoming harder and harder,” Wade says, and I nod in agreement. Then, I reach my thumb up from where it had been tracing along Mark’s shoulders, and run it over the back of his neck. I feel a shiver go down his spine. I smirk and raise an eyebrow at him, running my thumb over the back of his neck again. I see his face heat up, and finally I feel victorious. I have finally made Mark blush as much as he has made me. I remembered back to one of the first few days after Mark and I had actually become friends, where he had said he didn’t like people touching his neck. And now I know why.</p><p>“Ok, I got one that’s a little easier because you don’t have to exclude things you’ve done,” I say, already knowing this game could get me into dangerous territory. But what can I say? I’m fuck-ass drunk and the idea of getting into some trouble is exciting.</p><p>“Innocent Ethan, to the rescue!” Sean says, holding his fist out like he’s Superman. This makes me laugh.</p><p>“It’s called What Are The Odds,” I say, Tyler chiming in.</p><p>“I’ve actually played this one, it’s good,” he says with a growing smile.</p><p>“So basically, think along the lines of Truth or Dare. I choose someone in the circle. Let’s say Bob,” I gesture to Bob with my free hand, ceasing my little game with Mark so I could focus on explaining the game. “I say Bob, what are the odds you strip naked and run down the street?”</p><p>“Not very fuckin’ high, I’ll tell you that,” Bob says, making us laugh.</p><p>“Well that’s the thing, after I say that, I would say either 1 to 15, 1 to 10, 1 to 5, or if you’re really ballsy, 1 to 3,” I say, making sure that so far people were on the same page. “Then, on the count of 3, Bob and I would say a number between whatever we agreed on-- you can bargain the ratio by the way-- and if we say the same number, Bob would have to do whatever it was I said.”</p><p>“Oo, this sounds like it’s gonna be good,” Sean said, an amused grin spreading on his face.</p><p>“Can it involve other people too?” Wade asks, and I nod.</p><p>“Yeah, so let’s use Bob again. Say I turn to Bob and ask ‘what are the odds you kiss Wade?’ then Bob and I would do the same thing. Obviously if someone feels really uncomfortable doing anything, like, sexual with someone else we won’t make them do it, but typically then Bob and Wade would have to kiss.” I explain, Bob laughing.</p><p>“You’re making a lot of assumptions about the nature this game is gonna take on,” Bob says, and I giggle myself.</p><p>“I mean, to be fair, look at the nature of literally every game we’ve played,” Mark says, chuckling.</p><p>“See? I’m just realistic,” I say, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back against Mark’s arm. We were now, somehow sitting so close, that our legs were almost fully resting against each other, my foot accidentally kicking his shin as I crossed it. I was essentially crossing my leg over part of his, as well.“Oh, sorry,” I say, rubbing my thumb across the back of his shoulder in apology. If I scooted just a bit more over, we’d be sitting with our sides pressed against each other, and our arms around each other’s shoulders. I was too drunk to care, really, and I assumed the other guys were too drunk to notice. If they did notice, they definitely weren’t bringing it up, thank god. “Ok, who starts?” I ask, looking at the others. Wade and Tyler looked around as well, Bob and Sean both on their phones.They quickly slide them away once they realize they missed what I said.</p><p>“I think it’s gotta be you, again. You did come up with the game, after all,” Tyler says, an answer I could’ve predicted.</p><p>“Ok, uh, Wade,” I say, locking eyes with Wade, who pulls a goofy, scared face. “What are the odds, 1 through 10, that you twerk on Tyler?” He laughs with a shake of his head.</p><p>“Alright, who’s countin’ us down?” Wade asks.</p><p>“I got it,” Bob volunteers, “3… 2… 1--”</p><p>“4,” I say, as Wade says “7.” “Dammit,” I sigh in defeat. “Who’s next?”</p><p>“Let’s just go clockwise,” Mark says, essentially volunteering to go next. “Sean, what are the odds-- 1 through 10-- that you do a striptease for us?”</p><p>“And you thought this wouldn’t turn sexual,” I said, looking at Bob as I chuckle.</p><p>“I don’t know what I was thinking,” He says with an amused shake of his head. Sean's smiling as well, sitting forward and holding eye contact with Mark as they set up for the face off. “Ok… 3… 2… 1--”</p><p>“8,” Mark says at the same time Sean says “9.” We all let out a disappointed noise, except Sean.</p><p>“Didn’t know you all were so eager to see this delectable body,” He wiggles his eyebrows, feeling up and down his chest, and I can’t help but laugh.</p><p>“Oh honey, if I did a striptease everyone here would turn redder than Ethan,” Sean says with a tone that said something along the lines of ‘don’t get ahead of yourself.’ This makes everyone laugh again, including me.</p><p>“Ok, my turn right?” Tyler asks, and I nod. “Alright, Bob. What are the odds you ballroom dance with Wade? 1 to 10.” The rest of us let out a chorus of ‘ooos,’ appreciating the slight changeup.</p><p>“Alright, who’s counting down?” Bob asks, me volunteering this time. Bob and Tyler lock eyes, preparing themselves.</p><p>“3… 2… 1--”</p><p>“4,” Bob and Tyler both say, eliciting a cheer from the rest of us.</p><p>“Dammit!” Bob giggles, standing up, as does Wade. “I don’t even know how to ballroom dance.”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter! Make it up!” I call, letting the free hand that Mark wasn’t resting on fall to my lap. I uncross my legs, our legs now pressed against each other from the knee down. I give his neck another brush of my thumb, and he knocks his knee further against mine ever so slightly, making my lips tug up in a smile. Bob and Wade go to the space by the front door, standing in front of each other and trying not to burst into laughter as they stare at each other. All of us watch on eagerly.</p><p>“Who’s leading?” Bob asks us over Wade’s shoulder, as his back was facing us.</p><p>“You decide,” Mark says, Tyler nodding in agreement.</p><p>“Alright, Wade, lead me,” Bob says, holding one hand up and the other out to wrap onto Wade’s shoulder. Wade grabs the hand that’s up, putting his other hand around Bob’s waist. I can’t see Wade’s face, but Bob is trying desperately not to laugh, and I can hear stifled laughter bubbling out of Wade. They stand there, staring at each other and trying not to laugh, not moving.</p><p>“I’ll count you in!” I say, “Ok, 5, 6, 7, 8--” And instantly they start moving, Wade pushing Bob back clunkily with one step, Bob stepping back a bit late once he realizes what Wade’s doing. All of us are laughing as they rigidly move back and forth, eventually settling into the rhythm ever so slightly.</p><p>“And spin!” Wade shouts as he jerks Bob into a spin that honestly looked like it would end with Bob on the floor, but somehow he bounces back up, all of us laughing so hard we can barely breathe.</p><p>“Jesus! Don’t bother warning me <em>as</em> you’re spinning me!” Bob cackles, making Wade laugh more as they step back and forth.</p><p>“How long do we gotta do this?” Wade calls, still dancing with Bob.</p><p>“What? You aren’t enjoying this?” Sean asks rhetorically, laughter coating his words.</p><p>“I definitely am,” Mark says, and I can feel the rumble of his laughter from how close we are.</p><p>“You can stop, I’m satisfied,” Tyler says, catching his breath from the show we just witnessed. They pull away, Bob and Wade delving into even harder fits of laughter as they sit back down.</p><p>“Can’t believe I was about to suggest we only go 1 through 5 or lower,” Bob says, still chuckling. This gains another rumbling laugh from Mark. “Ok, my turn. Tyler, your lucky I already had one in mind or you would be a dead man.” Tyler laughs at this, nodding his head as if to say ‘fair.’ “Alright, Sean, what are the odds Ethan gives Mark a lap dance--” Immediately I protest.</p><p>“Whoa whoa whoa-- you’re not even asking Mark or me!” I challenge.</p><p>“Hey, you said yourself it can involve other people,” Bob says with a smug smile, “I don’t ever remember a rule about needing to involve the person I’m asking.”</p><p>“That’s fair--” Mark says, and before we can say anything he goes, “And fair is fair,” he points at all of us individually with raised eyebrows, landing last on me, and letting his gaze linger for a moment. I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling anyway.</p><p>“Yeah, fair. Is fair. Ethan,” Bob says, more intense, making me laugh.</p><p>“Ok, what through?” I ask, ready to count them in.</p><p>“1 to 10, I’ll make it the usual,” Bob says, as if he’s doing us a courtesy.</p><p>“Ok, Sean you ready?” I ask, looking at him.</p><p>“Count us in, baby,” Sean says, leaning forward and making eye contact with Bob. I never said that was a part of the rules, but so far everyone has just taken it upon themselves to do that. A smile was growing on both their faces as I began to count.</p><p>“3… 2… 1--”</p><p>“6,” they both say, both turning to look at me smugly as Wade and Tyler hoot and holler. I roll my eyes, finally un-snaking my arm from where it had been fiddling with Mark’s shirt collar.</p><p>“And I don’t want a cop out. I better see some full contact or I’m telling our RA your dorm smells like weed,” Bob says, making both Mark and I laugh as I stand up. Jokes on him, I haven’t smoked since I got to college.</p><p>“Ok, how long do I have to do this for?” I ask, standing above Mark and looking back at Bob over my shoulder. Mark was looking up at me, and I had to try very hard not to think about the look he was giving me.</p><p>“Uh, let’s say like a minute and a half,” Bob said, pulling out his phone and getting a timer ready. I roll my eyes, but place my legs on either side of Mark’s knees regardless. He leans back all the way, still looking at me with this smug smile as he places his arms behind his head, leaning against them. Or maybe he wasn’t, it seemed like another excuse to flex his muscles. I shook my head slightly at him.</p><p>“Wait-- we need music,” Sean interrupts before pulling out his own phone. I don’t protest, because it would be rather awkward if it was just silent. Wade leans over and turns on a speaker on the TV stand. There’s a short, musical series of beeps as Sean connects over bluetooth. Then, pounding, intoxicating bass vibrates throughout the room, the familiar beat making everyone either laugh or cheer. “Not a true lap dance without some Pony by Ginuwine!” Sean yells over the speaker. I turn to flip him off before my attention focuses back on Mark. Mark let’s his arms stretch out over the back of the couch again, that stupid, smug smile still firmly in place.</p><p>“3… 2… 1… grind!” Bob yells, and I drop my knees on the couch either side of Mark’s thighs, rolling my body slightly as I grab onto his shoulder for added stability. I hover just above him, not having made contact with his lap yet, but as per Bob’s instructions, I knew it would happen eventually.</p><p>“<em>I’m just a bachelor… lookin’ for a partner</em>,” The first verse of the song kicks in and I bounce up and down slowly to the smoothe beat, rolling my body every time it comes up from Mark’s thighs. If Mark isn’t looking at my eyes, he’s trailing them up and down my body with that same hungry look he had that day. I just want to tell him to stop because the things that does to me alone are enough to blow our whole cover.</p><p>“<em>Someone who knows how to ride</em>,” I sit my body fully on his lap, straddling him as I roll my hips against him, the hand that’s not holding his shoulder running through my hair. “<em>without even fallin’ off</em>.” I swing one leg off of him so I can flip to sitting with my back facing him.</p><p>“<em>Gotta be compatible… takes me to my limits,” I bounce up and down lightly to the beat twice, before sliding my hands up my thighs as I roll my hips. I throw a joking wink at Sean, who’s gawking at me with a look of both amusement and surprise. Leaning my back flush against Mark’s chest and throwing my head over his shoulder, I continue body rolling. I reach up around Mark’s head, letting my fingers wrap through his hair. “<em>Girl when I break you off… I promise that you won’t wanna get off</em>,” I flip myself back into straddling him face on for the chorus. I barely have a moment to be thankful that the alcohol has given me just enough whiskey-dick to not get <em>unbelievably</em> hard from this. And thank god for jeans.</em></p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“<em>If you’re horny, let's do it</em>,” I roll against his lap before coming up, dropping back down to the beat, my hand still wrapped around the hair at the back of his head. A series of ‘whoops’ and whistles come from the guys behind me, making me breathe a laugh. This whole time Mark has been ravaging my body with his eyes, holding eye contact as I grind on him, then falling to my lips, then settling on my hips. It makes me want to do even better.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“<em>Ride it. My pony</em>,” I let my hand in his hair trace down his neck until it’s on his shoulder. I lean back and arch my back, grabbing his knee behind me with my free hand as I continue rolling to the music, bouncing up and down on beat. I throw my head back for good measure, chuckling again when more cheers are heard from the guys.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“<em>My saddle’s, waitin’... come and, jump on it</em>,” I end by throwing myself forward and cupping Mark’s face with both of my hands, getting my own face close to his as I ride out the beat on his lap. Finally, Bob’s timer goes off and I swing my legs off of Mark, sitting next to him, slightly out of breath. I sling my arms back over the couch, Mark and I returning to our original position. Sean pauses the music and everyone breaks into cheers, even some applause from Sean and Wade.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Was that full contact enough for ya, Bob?” I ask with a head nod in his direction.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Uh, yeah, ya know I would say so,” He says, making us laugh.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“The only way that could have been more full contact is if you actually fucked,” Wade laughed, which I returned with a chuckle, but I’m sure my blush was lost on no one.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“We should have never coined you as the innocent one,” Tyler says with a chuckle of his own. I just gave a smug smile back.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“What about you, Mark? Still breathin’ after that?” Bob asks, turning to Mark who has been silent since the start of the dance. I chew on my lip as I turn to look at him. His free arm that wasn’t behind me was now, conveniently, draped across his lap. He also had his ankle crossed over his knee, leaving the bent knee to rest on my thigh.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I… am not sure I have words,” He says with a laugh, making the rest of the guys laugh. I just raise my eyebrows at him.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“That’s understandable, I am also a bit speechless,” Bob says after he finishes laughing.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Yeah, who knew Ethan was so good at body rolls,” Sean said with a laugh, making me grin.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Thanks. Pretty sure it’s the ex-gymnast in me,” I say.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Well, if you’re not careful I might want some ex-gymnast in me,” Sean jokes, making everyone burst at the seams laughing, Mark throwing his head back and taking some time before regaining his composure.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I’m flattered,” is all I can say once I’ve caught my breath again. We end up only finishing Sean and Wade’s turns, no one having to do anything, because we realized we were all too drunk and lazy to actually do anything else. However, we all agreed we would be playing this game again. Which I hope sober me won’t regret. Eventually, we decide to put on a horror movie. Wade, Mark and I decided we’re down to watch the one Wade recommended, Gerald’s Game, again so Bob, Sean, and Tyler could see. It was a pretty fuckin’ good horror movie, I gotta say.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Alright, but I want some blankets. It’s cold in here,” Bob says, getting up with Sean to get pillows and blankets for the night as well.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Oo, can you bring me one, too?” I call, Bob making a vague noise of recognition from down the hall. They come back out and Bob throws a large blanket at me and Mark, my hands flying from behind the couch to catch it. “Thanks,” I say, muffled from the blanket covering my face. I pull it down, smiling.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Here,Tyler, I got us pillows,” Bob says, tossing both a blanket and a pillow at Tyler.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Are we all good with the same sleeping arrangements?” Tyler asks, all of us chorusing our agreement. “Ok, Bob pull out the couch I’ll just watch from here until it’s time for bed.” They begin pulling out the couch, Wade and Sean disappearing to change into comfy clothes, and I turn to Mark.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Do you care if I lie back on you?” I ask, stretching my legs over the arm of the couch so I was facing the TV, holding my upper body just above Mark’s lap until I got confirmation. He looks down at me with a smile that I can’t quite read the origin of.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Do you care if we do it bobsled style? I want some blanket,” He says, and I chuckle, sitting up to allow him to stretch his legs the same way as mine. I situated myself in between his legs so I was lying against his stomach, him leaning up against the opposite arm of the couch that my legs were over. I pull the blanket up to my neck and wiggle a bit at the comfort. This is when he sits up a bit and whispers “If you move like that in the position you’re in, it could cause a bit of a problem.” I feel my neck and face heat as I realize that my back is fully against his dick.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You’re right, my bad,” I chuckle as he leans back again, both of us staring at the TV and waiting for the others to be ready. I look to the side to see Tyler and Bob sharing these two big blankets that have been stitched together into one, Sean and Wade returning in pajamas.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Well don’t we all look cozy,” Sean says with a smile as he relaxes into his chair, Wade turning off the lights and bringing a cup of water over before setting up the movie. The movie starts, the familiar smooth jazz playing us in, Mark’s warmth and the warmth from the blanket lulling me into a very comfortable state. Then, I feel Mark’s hands snake under the blanket, resting on my chest. I can’t help but lean my head to the side to rest on his forearm, already buzzing with excitement. He traces patterns absentmindedly over my chest and stomach, and even with the fabric of my shirt between us it still feels like he has embers on the tips of his fingers. I reach my own hand up, letting it rest over one of his, rubbing my thumb back and forth slowly. It almost puts me in a sort of trance, and while I’m awake and my eyes are looking at the screen, I haven’t been paying attention at all, and somehow we’re already to the part where he dies.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“We’re all happy he’s dead, right?” Sean asks the room, and for the first time I’ve actually processed the words my friends have been saying.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Oh, definitely,” Bob says, Tyler adding an “mhm,” in agreement. The movie continues, and when it gets to certain parts that really freaked me out, I shrink down in my blanket, my grip tightening on Mark’s hand without me really meaning to.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Why are you scared, you’ve seen this before,” Mark chuckles.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Ok, yeah, but wouldn’t you say knowing the <em>ending</em> to this movie makes it scarier?” I point out, and he doesn’t respond for a moment.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Yeah, you’re actually right,” Mark says, tracing his fingers lightly across my chest.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It makes it worse than this?” Tyler asks, his fingers to his temples as he watched in horror. I laughed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Yup,” I say at the same time Mark says “Uh-huh,” and Wade says “Definitely.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Wonderful,” Tyler says sarcastically, letting out a small sigh. The part that scared me the most last time happens, eliciting a chorus of “ews” and various uncomfortable groans from all of us. I turn my head all the way into Mark’s arm, fighting a shiver before focusing my eyes back on the screen.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“How does this movie still get to me the second time around?” I ask rhetorically, Mark humming in agreement. He reaches the other hand I’m not holding and puts it over my other hand, lacing his fingers in between mine and rubbing circles over my hand with his thumb. I only half pay attention to the rest of the movie, my mind too clouded with Mark and how much contact I have with him-- the little things he’s doing grabbing every inch of my attention (which is hard to do with ADHD.) Finally, it’s definitely bedtime from the low energy of the group after some conversation about the intensity of the movie we just watched. There really is a detox period needed after watching that movie to just let everything you saw soak in.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>We all say our goodnights, heading off to the guest bedroom and closing the door behind us, dropping our bags on the chest of drawers just like last time. This time, however, we both get changed together. Mark, of course, going to bed only in boxers, me opting for a sleeveless shirt and shorter than average athletic shorts. I grab my phone, remembering I needed to text Bob something before bed.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p><strong>i know u and sean collaborated on that what are the odds dare</strong>
I send, and chuckle when I get a text back.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Bob: If you and Mark can have secret phone time, so can we</strong>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>I send back one last message before finishing what I need to do to get ready for bed.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <strong>fair is fair</strong>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>We brush our teeth and come back out, him surprising me by grabbing me around the middle and pulling me into him. I let out a small, involuntary squeak. He chuckles as he looks slightly down at me, our faces so close the tips of our noses are touching.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You caused some serious trouble with that lap dance,” He says, his voice low and deep. I gulp slightly.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, I couldn’t give you a bad lap dance with the way you were looking at me,” I quirked my eyebrows, surprised I could get a sentence out without crumbling. He bites his lip and flicks his eyes to mine, reaching one of his hands from behind my back to cup my jaw, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. My knees almost give out from this alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He leans in slow, his lips rolling onto mine. This kiss is much slower than the last, his lips parting and closing mine as I fall into his lead. I reach my hands up and let them fall around his neck, my thumbs running over it out of second nature now. This makes him emit a low, almost unnoticeable growl into my mouth as his kiss becomes needier. He’s pressing into me now, the hand still on my middle running up and down, gripping at the bare skin it reveals when pushing up part of my shirt. I can’t help but release a small moan into his mouth as his other hand moves from my jaw to the hair at the back of my head, wrapping his fingers in it and pulling the perfect amount. Finally, he breaks away, both of us slightly out of breath and lips just a bit swollen. He’s just staring at my face, at my eyes.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I would keep going, but I’m exhausted and not sure I have it in me,” he looks down at my swollen lips, then flicks his eyes back up to mine. “And if we keep going, I’ll need to… take care of some things.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Yeah, me too,” I say honestly, still not pulling away. We stare at each other for a moment, not moving, before I lean in one more time and plant a long, hard kiss on his lips, pulling him by his neck into me. We break apart, and I push him away with a smile. “Now no more,” I say, now both of us smiling.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p> He’s the first one in bed, me turning out the lights and launching myself onto the bed, too scared to walk calmly. This makes Mark laugh. We both lie on our backs.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Did that movie really scare you that much?” Mark chuckles. I can barely see him looking over at me in the dark, my eyes not adjusted yet.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“It’s not even, like, a normal scary, ya know? Like now I’m just in a mild state of fear and probably will be until morning,” I explain with a sheepish laugh, to which he breathes his own in response. Then, he reaches hand over and starts dancing his fingertips up and down my arm lightly. I look over at him, my eyes adjusting enough to see his face now. He’s just observing me, looking over every part of me. It makes me blush, of course, but I don’t really care anymore if he sees. It’s less of a problem in moments like these, when the air is quiet and everything is still, no one else but the two of us.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>His eyes meet mine, his fingers running from my forearm to my bicep, then back down to my wrist, meeting where his other hand is lightly holding my fingers. I never pictured Mark to be the touchy type, and so far with other people, he’s not. This observation still makes warmth spread throughout my chest when I think about it. I roll onto my side so I can look at him properly, neither of us saying a word, but there’s no awkwardness between us. I don’t know what it is, but now is the time I decide to bring up what’s on my mind.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I don’t know if I’m ready to let the others know about… anything between us,” I say softly, still staring into those big brown eyes.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“That’s fine,” He says back in that low, soft voice that drives me crazy, turning on his side so he’s also facing me properly as well. His eyes are searching through mine just as much as I his.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Thanks,” I whisper, a small smile on my lips as I take in what he looks like in the blue light of pre dawn. He nods so slightly I almost miss it, him just pulling me lightly by my wrist until my arm is wrapped around his torso and we're forced closer. I take things into my own hands and press my body into his, letting my forehead rest against his and my eyes fall closed. Our legs tangle together, and he drapes his strong arm across my side, wrapping it around my back and holding me in place against him. He rubs my back slowly, reaching up my neck and tangling the hair at the nape of my neck into his fingers, tugging even softer than before. I let my mouth fall open, those embers of his igniting me into a cool, steady burn. I move my head to nestle it into the crook of his neck, holding him as close to me as I possibly can. Even a centimeter of space between us right now would feel like an ocean. I fall asleep to him rubbing my back and playing with my hair.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for any spelling or formatting errors if u see any! i usually write anywhere from midnight to 6 AM... it is currently 6:30 AM as im posting this chapter lmfao. i had too much fun writing this tho &amp; couldnt stop! plus i couldn't write bc it was my birthday on the 31st &amp; i celebrated w/ my roommate &amp; my best friend, &amp; i actually really missed writing this story lol. hope u enjoyed &amp; thanks for reading :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Tidal Waves From the Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ethan meets an unexpected person from his past, drudging up painful memories, and Mark is left feeling the need to protect him at all costs. TW: mentions of sexual assault and rape, though none actually happens. also depictions of violence, mentions of blood and vomit. all of it is from the past and not happening currently, read at your own comfort.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up, head snapping up to some rapid knocks on a door, and the door opening to give way to Bob saying “Wake up, I’m taking your asses home,” and then leaving promptly. I blinked, forcing the sleep-blurriness out of my eyes and letting my head fall back on my pillow with a grunt. Behind me, I feel Mark stir, his arm tightening around it’s place on my chest, burying his head into the back of my neck. We had ended up in a spooning position, which was making it much harder to get out of bed. I feel my neck vibrate with Mark’s muffled words, making me shiver and laugh.</p><p>“What was that?” I ask with a giggle, tilting my head slightly back toward him. He pulls his head back from my neck just enough to speak.</p><p>“How does Bob wake up so easily after drinking all night?” Mark asks, and I’m not really sure if he’s looking for an answer, but it’s a fair question.</p><p>“What I’m catching onto is Bob is the secret psychopath of the group,” I breathe a laugh, unwinding Mark’s arm from me, earning a groan of detest from him. We get up, get dressed, and make our departure from Wade and Sean’s house, bidding goodbyes and thank you’s as we do.</p><p>“I’m droppin’ you two at our housing, my head is pounding too much to navigate that weird roundabout I have to go through to get to housing one,” Bob says, Mark and I thanking him when we pull into the parking lot by east housing two. We say goodbye to a very haggard Tyler and Bob, Mark and I starting the familiar walk back to east housing one.</p><p>“Did you have fun last night?” Mark asks me on our way home.</p><p>“Yeah, I did,” I smile at him. “Did you?”</p><p>“Yeah, it was crazy fun,” Mark said with a small laugh. I did have fun last night, but this morning I’m still left thinking about where we stand. I wish I could just enjoy what I have right here, right now, but I’ve never been able to. All I can think about is all the ways it could go wrong, and all the ways I could end up hurt. I know no matter what Mark will be okay, he could move on and forget about me so easily. But it’s not like that for me. I love all my new friends, so much it scares me sometimes. I’ve barely known them for a few weeks and I already can’t imagine my life without them, especially Mark. Which is never healthy. It didn’t lead to anything but hurt last time. “Hey, what’s wrong? You seem off,” Mark comments, looking at me as we walk. I loop my thumbs through the straps of my backpack just to have something to do with my hands, not able to look at Mark.</p><p>“Nothing, just stupid stuff,” I breathe a weak laugh, not having to look at Mark to know he wasn’t convinced. “Plus I’m hungover.” Not a lie.</p><p>“How many times I gotta tell you it’s not stupid?” Mark chuckles softly, bumping my shoulder with his. I breathe another laugh and look down at my feet. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Mark asks, and I look up to meet his eyes. I think about it, but I get flashes from a time long before I met Mark. Sometimes just talking about it can cause more trouble than just keeping your mouth shut. I smile and look away.</p><p>“Nah, it’s fine, it’s nothing-- really,” I say as we approach east housing one. We head up to our dorm and drop our bags, collapsing onto Mark’s bed. We lie in silence, both staring up at the popcorn ceiling for an immeasurable amount of time.</p><p>“Wanna go grab some coffee?” Mark breaks the silence, turning to look at me.</p><p>“Yes,” I say, looking back at him before pushing myself up off the bed. We go to the same sunflower cafe as that time I took him to lunch, but get our coffees to go. It was already making me feel better, the two of us just walking and joking around as we headed back.</p><p>“No, you’re so wrong!” Mark says in that high pitched, defensive voice of his, both of us laughing. “I would <em>crush</em> you in Mario Kart! It’s not even a question!”</p><p>“How would you know! You’ve never seen me play!” I laugh back at him.</p><p>“I don’t need to, your existence is evidence enough!” He says with another laugh, gesturing wildly with the hand not holding his coffee. This sends me into my own fit of laughter.</p><p>“Ok, we’re going to Bob’s sometime this week and settling this,” I say with a shake of my head.</p><p>“Fine! But you’re gonna be embarrassed,” Mark sings, taking a sip of his coffee. I roll my eyes.</p><p>“Can’t wait to kick--” But my sentence is cut off, and a voice I haven’t heard in well over a year stops me in my tracks. I feel my whole body tense, and I can’t figure out if I’m hallucinating what I heard, or if this is actually, <em>really</em> fucking happening.</p><p>“Ethan? Ethan Nestor?” But the voice calls my name once more, and I know that this is painfully real. Mark has stopped, looking at me and behind us to the source of the voice in obvious confusion. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning around.</p><p>“Jace? W-what are you doing here?” I don’t mean for my voice to come out an octave higher than usual, but I’m pretty sure it was the only way I was getting any form of words out. I swallow hard.</p><p>“I go here, man,” Jace says, that sickeningly familiar smile spreading across his face as he closes the gap between us to have a better conversation. Great. Looking at him is almost enough to make me sick. And of course, he fucking goes here.</p><p>“Oh, wow, uh, me too,” I say with a strained breath of a laugh. Mark was looking at Jace almost how he looked at me the first few days we met, but if possible, with even more malice behind the stare. I’m guessing it’s easy to pick up on how uncomfortable this encounter is making me, although I doubt he even knew the surface level of it.</p><p>“That’s crazy! I haven’t seen you since like, junior year of high school,” He says with a chuckle, and I can’t hide the small wince that goes across my face.</p><p>“Yeah, haha, it’s been awhile,” I say, wanting to break into a full sprint and not stop running until I’m back at my parents’ home, hours away.</p><p>“Well, I gotta run but it was great seeing you!” He says, getting ready to leave. “Oh, and you should unblock my number, so we can catch up.” He gives me that stupid fucking know-it-all smirk before glancing to Mark and giving him the slightest nod of his head, turning and getting into a car that was parked a few paces back. No fucking way I’m unblocking his number. He speeds off, and I’m still standing, just staring at where he was, my knuckles turning white from gripping my coffee cup so hard. I don’t know if I’m about to cry or scream, or both. Mark puts a hand on my shoulder, looking at me with worry and confusion, which snaps me out of the trance I was in.</p><p>“Are you okay? Who was that?” Mark asked, clearly picking up on the fact that I do not like Jace-- to put it lightly. Hate his conniving guts is more accurate.</p><p>“That was… Jace. He was someone I knew in high school,” I say, switching between clenching my jaw and chewing my lip as we turn and keep walking to our dorm.</p><p>“Did he… do something to you? Because I swear to god--” Mark starts, already looking to see if his car was anywhere nearby still. I just shake my head.</p><p>“He’s not a good guy. It’s best we just forget about him and hope I don’t run into him again,” I say simply, unable to lift the heavy cloud that has now fallen over me. God I fucking hate Jace. “It’s a giant campus anyway. Chances are I’ll barely have to see him.”</p><p>“Okay, whatever you think is best,” Mark says, but I can tell by the way he’s still looking at me that he’s concerned. I’ve never seen him look at someone with so much disgust. I thought he hated me the first few days here, but clearly that was just how he acts when someone mildly annoys him. We walk the rest of the way back in almost complete silence. I don’t even know why I was friendly to Jace. I told myself if I ever saw his face again I would punch him square in the jaw. But I know I’m not the fighting type, but who knows, maybe he’ll be the exception. We all have that one person that we would lay down our morals to the side, just for one moment, to make sure they get what they deserve. The shock of seeing him was too much, though. I couldn’t think. It didn’t even feel like I was in my body; like I was watching the interaction happen to someone else.</p><p>We get back to our dorm and I kick off my shoes, sitting cross-legged on Mark’s bed, drinking my coffee and staring off at the floor. He closes the door, takes off his shoes and takes a seat in his desk chair, rolling closer to the bed so he can rest his feet on it.</p><p>“Hey, you wanna check out some of the games I got?” Mark asks, pointing his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his PC. I smile slightly, appreciative for him trying to get my mind off the encounter we just had, even while not knowing why it was so much for me. He takes his feet off the bed and pushes himself back in the chair.</p><p>“Yeah,” I say, scooting to the edge of the bed so I could attempt to see the screen.</p><p>“Well, you’re not gonna see much from there, are you?” He says with a head bobble, and I furrow my eyebrows.</p><p>“There’s nowhere else to sit,” I chuckle, looking around the room. Mark just rolls his eyes and pats his lap, looking at me expectantly. I giggle before getting off the bed and folding myself in his lap, leaning my upper body to the side so he could see. He spins us around in his chair and pulls us to the desk. He logs in, then lets one arm hold around my middle, the other on the mouse as we look through his selection of games, his chin resting on my shoulder. We spend the rest of the day like that, taking turns playing games. It was almost enough to make me forget about Jace. Almost.</p><p> / </p>

<p>“I’ve never seen him like that… and I’ve seen him pretty torn up from anxiety,” I hear Mark say. We’re all at Sean and Wade’s for a study session, all of us working on our individual work and helping others who are in the same class. It’s only been a few days since the Jace incident, and I still can’t quite manage to force it out of my head. I had gone to the bathroom, and I was on my way back to the living room, but I hung back in the hallway when I heard the conversation.</p><p>“Is he, like, an old bully?” I hear Tyler ask, and I have to stop myself from scoffing. Bully would be an understatement.</p><p>“It seemed deeper than that… he was trying to be friendly and the dude was acting like they were old friends,” Mark said, all of their voices in the same hushed tone.</p><p>“Maybe an ex?” Bob offered, making me have to stifle another scoff. I’d say somewhere in between bully and ex is probably where the truth lies about Jace and I’s relationship.</p><p>“I dunno. Maybe. But the way Ethan got so scared…” Mark trails off, his tone becoming dark. “It took all I had not to shove the guy and tell him to fuck off.”</p><p>“Shit man, has he said anything about it since?” Sean asks.</p><p>“No. I don’t think he wants to talk about it, and I don’t wanna make him,” Mark says, and it brings a small smile to my lips.</p><p>“Yeah, you shouldn’t pressure him into anything. He’ll come to you when he’s ready, you guys are close,” Wade says, and I bite back yet <em>another</em> scoff. He has no idea.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right. I just hope he knows he can trust me,” Mark says, and I almost feel guilty for not telling him. Of course I trust Mark. This is when I decide to come out from the hall, taking my seat next to Mark as everyone pretends to be invested in their books.</p><p>“I’m fucked on this Stats test,” I say with a sigh, combing over the worksheets I have. I didn’t think I’d still be getting math worksheets in college.</p><p>“Honestly, me fuckin’ too. Mr. Combover’s hair is so distracting I can hardly focus on a word that comes out of his mouth,” Bob says, leaning back and making me chuckle.</p><p>“It was particularly bad today, oh my god. It looked like he brushed a dog and glued the shedding to his head,” I said, thinking back to this morning. Bob laughs.</p><p>“And he’s always so sweaty,” Bob says, his face scrunching up a little. “Like, we’re in the back row and it still looks like he’s fresh out of the swamp,” this makes me laugh as well, my eyes squeezing shut.</p><p>“You’re so right, and don’t even get me started on the baby carrots--” As soon as I finish my sentence Bob lets out a groan.</p><p>“Oh my god, the fucking baby carrots--” Bob says, turning to everyone else. “This… <em>heathen</em> will be in the middle of a sentence and just start shoveling baby carrots down his throat-- talking with his mouth open as wide as possible--”</p><p>“And the bag is always dripping wet from… juice or something?” I scrunch my face in disgust as well. “I don’t even know.”</p><p>“And then, he takes his carroty fingers that he just shoved all the way to his uvula and starts walking around-- tapping your desk and all of your shit--” the rest of the guys let out a groan of disgust at Bob’s words.</p><p>“It is the most vile thing,” I say, trying to blink away the image from my mind.</p><p>“Yeah, so if you’re not distracted by his dried-grass excuse of a combover, you're hiding in fear from his gross, carrot-mouth-hands,” Bob says, scrunching his nose and making us laugh.</p><p>“Jesus, and I thought my monotoned chemistry teacher was bad,” Sean says with a chuckle.</p><p>“He makes me want to just wear a hazmat suit to class,” Bob says with a shake of his head, making me nod in agreement. We keep working for a few more hours, me actually managing to grasp some of Stats thanks to Bob, and then Mark and I head back to our dorm.</p><p>“Hey, uh, I don’t want you to think you have to tell me anything when I say this…” Mark starts, and I feel a tingle of worry creep up my spine. “But I just want you to know you can trust me. I won’t judge you, for like, anything,” He says this last part while looking into my eyes, and I can tell he really means it. I give him a small smile.</p><p>“Thanks, man, I know,” I look down at my feet, nothing but the quiet steps of our shoes over the sidewalk as we walk through the quad, early evening pinks and purples casting shadows over us. “And I do trust you, I think maybe the most I’ve trusted anyone in awhile…” But I also trusted Jace. I don’t say this, because I know it would hurt him, and that’s the last thing I ever want to do. “I’m just… not sure if I want to relive some things yet,” I say honestly, both in the sense of retelling a story and risking the chance of history repeating itself. I need to talk to Mark about a lot, but everytime I think I’ve almost got the courage to, it’s like my throat closes up. Mark puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing and rubbing his thumb across it as he gives me a sort of sad smile.</p><p>“I understand,” he says softly, releasing his hand after a moment and letting it fall back to his side. Do I really trust Mark if I can’t talk to him about my fears of… whatever it is we have? I’m not sure if I have the answer to that, but I like to think I do trust him. My distrust isn’t with him so much as… people in general. “I’ll be here, whenever you’re ready,” is all he says after, us finishing our walk in a peaceful, yet somber silence.</p><p> / </p><p>God, there are so many different kinds of pickles. Even though I like pickles, the options are kind of overwhelming. Especially when you’re getting them for someone else. We’re all going to Wade and Sean’s tomorrow, except for Tyler who unfortunately has to study for a big test on Monday. I’m in charge of bringing snacks for me and Mark, since Mark always complains about the lack of something or other in their home. I’m looking at a jar of dill pickles, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, expecting to maybe see one of the guys since this grocery store is only a five minute walk from campus, but I can’t stop my face falling when I’m met with Jace.</p><p>“Oh, hey,” I say, forcing the smallest amount of a smile I can, putting the dill pickles back on the shelf and pretending to look through the other options, just so I don’t have to look at him.</p><p>“Hey, funny running into you,” Jace says and I just give him a quick raise of my eyebrows in agreement before turning back to the shelves. “So, uh, I tried texting you but uh… it didn’t go through.” Shit, shit, shit. How fucking awkward. Can’t he get the hint?</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry,” I say, picking up a random pickle jar and pretending to examine it. “I’ve been, uh, really busy.” Not a total lie, but definitely not the whole truth.</p><p>“Oh, well, that’s ok! We can do it now,” He says with a smile, and I bite down hard on the inside of my cheeks before turning to face him. There was clearly no way he was just going to move on, and I had to take this head on.</p><p>“Sorry, but no. I…” I look down, but then force myself to look in his eyes. “What you did… it really fucked me up. Still, fucks me up. I don’t think I want to be in contact with you, and I’d appreciate it if you would just… leave me alone whenever you see me.” He looks taken aback, and I think he’s going to say something and leave, but he stays.</p><p>“I’m… really sorry, Ethan,” Jace says. I don’t say anything. “I was in… a bad place, and insecure, and I took it out on you. It was wrong.” I couldn’t help the bitter, humorless breath of a laugh that escaped my mouth. He looks at me in confusion, but I know even that is fake.</p><p>“Yeah, physically took it out on me. You beat the shit out of me, Jace,” I said, venom filling my voice for the first time. “You told everyone… everyone that I came onto you. That I <em>pressured</em> you. But that wasn’t the case, was it?” He’s not even looking me in the eye anymore, but I’m staring him down, jaw clenched. He doesn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought. Leave me the fuck alone.” I turn away, dropping whatever pickle jar I had in my hand into my basket and heading to leave-- not caring about the rest of the snacks I was supposed to get.</p><p>“Who’s that guy you were with?” He calls, making me stop in my tracks. I don’t turn around yet, worried that if I look at his face right now I’ll bash it in. “He your boyfriend?” My face scrunches for just a second before I turn back around, closing the gap I had put between us.</p><p>“And if he is? How is that any of your business?” I was staring him down despite the two of us being roughly the same height.</p><p>“You know what we had was hot,” he narrows his eyes at me, licking his lips. It makes my stomach turn. “I might have fucked it up, yeah, but you’re never gonna have sex like ours with anyone else.” I scoff in his face.</p><p>“Yeah, and thank god for that,” I lean in closer, my words hissing through my teeth, anger boiling up in me so much I feel like my head might pop off. “Because your dick tasted like rancid cheese and it only took a <em>hundredth</em> of what we did for Mark to make me cum harder than I ever had before.” He doesn’t say anything, staring at me with rage and frustration. I give him a quick smile, my eyes still deadly, before I turn away and walk towards checkout. “And by the way, I’ve gotten even better at my backbend,” I call over my shoulder, rolling my eyes in disbelief at his audacity.</p><p> / </p>

<p>Tears were falling over my cheeks and my body was shaking the whole walk home. I got weird looks, I’m sure, but I was in no position to care. Once the adrenaline had worn off from the situation, I just wanted to disappear. Not only that, I was scared. To say Jace has always been unhinged is an understatement. I wanted to avoid a confrontation like that, because I rather a docile, conniving Jace that puts on a mask to manipulate me into liking him over the… alternative. I wanted to keep him thinking there was a chance of us reconnecting, even if I knew that was impossible, so he wouldn’t turn to the side that I know all too well.</p><p>The tears were falling faster and harder now, making me shake my head and rub violently at my eyes, a hissing noise expelling from me uncontrollably. I headed into east housing one, head down and hood up as I waited for the elevator, my body shaking from the silent sobs that were thudding against the inside of my ribcage, threatening to break out. It seemed like an eternity before the elevator came, and then it felt like no time at all before I was at my dorm door, unlocking it with surprising ease. I walk in, barely seeing Mark or hearing him when he greets me. I drop the grocery bag from my fingers lightly.</p><p>“Couldn’t get everything,” is all I muttered, walking in a haze until I flop face down on my bed, no longer trying to contain the sobs that were itching to wrack my body. Almost instantly I felt Mark’s hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, cooing words of comfort that I couldn’t quite distinguish. Then, he lifted me up from under my arms, like a limp sack of potatoes. He pulled my back against his chest, wrapping his arms around my torso, just letting me cry as one hand reached up to pet my hair.</p><p>“It’s okay… you’re okay…” He kept whispering as he stroked my hair. For some reason, I think it made me cry harder.</p><p>“I-- h-hate h-him--” I choked out through sobs and hiccups, not even caring about how much of a disaster I probably looked. I felt Mark stiffen slightly, but he quickly softened again and continued comforting me.</p><p>“It’s okay… I’m here,” He murmured. After what felt like another eternity, my sobs finally died down to a quiet sniffle, the occasional hiccup the only thing wracking my body. “Can you tell me what happened?” He asked softly. I took a deep breath.</p><p>“I ran into J-Jace at the store…” I winced just from saying his name. “I’m just… so scared.” I could barely speak above a whimper.</p><p>“Ethan, I know this is hard, but you need to tell me if he hurt you--” Mark said, and while he was trying to stay calm for me, I could tell anger was bubbling up inside him.</p><p>“No, he didn’t do anything this time. Or at least not yet,” I said. Every time my cries calmed down they picked back up again once I thought about the deep <em>shit</em> I just got myself into.</p><p>“He’s not going to do anything to you. I’ll kill him before that happens,” Mark said, his voice dark as he continued running his hand through my hair, holding me close to him with his other arm. I sit up, turning to face him now, my face wet and hot from tears, but I don’t care. I just need to see his face. See something familiar. Something stable. And Mark’s the most stable thing I’ve had besides my parents.</p><p>I take all of his face in. His eyes as they soften meeting mine, the way his brow crinkles in the middle from worry. It brings the smallest smile to my face, and I bury my face in his neck, holding him in a death grip of a hug. I’m not sure if I’ll ever let go. But, I decide that it’s time for a conversation I really need to have with Mark. I can’t risk Jace’s insane ass getting between us and fucking what I have up.</p><p>“I need to tell you about some shit that happened in high school,” I say, pulling away and sniffling, my tears finally calming down.</p><p>“Okay, are you sure?” He asks, not moving his eyes from mine for even a moment. I just nod. He rubs my shoulder, his other hand loosely around my waist as I sit up to face him.</p><p>“I had essentially no friends all of high school, except for the summer after sophomore year and into my junior year. But, I was just an outsider in the friend group. Someone that no one really noticed, or would ever really care if I came to group plans or not. A lot of the time they didn’t invite me to stuff outside of school, and I would only really sit with them at lunch,” I say, pausing for a moment to take a breath and gather myself. Mark waits patiently. “That was, except for Jace. He was the most inclusive of me. If I ever did get invited somewhere, it was because of him. I quickly became really close with him, or, at least from my perspective. At the time, I knew I probably wasn’t straight, but didn’t tell anyone. Jace was strictly straight, and he was pretty popular with girls-- well, with everyone.” I add with another sigh. “We would have sleepovers together, just him and I, a lot. I never initiated what we would do, not even once, because in my mind I <em>knew</em> he was straight, and I knew pursuing that would land me in the most humiliating position of my life. Anyway, we’d share a bed, and while it only turned into what I’d consider a hookup once, all the other times were… definitely not platonic. Of course, back then, I was being gaslit into believing it was,” I say, looking down and swallowing. I look back up at Mark, his concerned eyes still fixated on me, his hand never stopping it’s slow, rhythmic sweep over my shoulder.</p><p>“Eventually I got invited to group sleepovers. One night, there was a lot of alcohol, and Jace asked me to come with him to get more cups. He pulled me into the hall pantry and we started making out, both of us reasonably drunk. And, one thing led to another, and thus the backbend-dick-sucking-story was born,” I say with a meek laugh, Mark not laughing with me, instead his lips pressed into a tight line. He kept rubbing my shoulder. “It was fully his idea, I was content with just making out before returning back to our friends. It was consensual, though, even if I would’ve been satisfied without it. However, we got interrupted, one of our other guy friends walking in on us. He started laughing, and… and Jace pushed me down…” I trail off, blinking as tears fall from my eyes, but I didn’t feel like I was crying. “He called me a faggot,” I say easily, rage and hurt burning so fast in my stomach, I feel like I’m the wick on a stick of dynamite just from thinking about it. I clench my jaw and clear my throat before continuing.</p><p>“He told our friend that I had forced myself on him, that I wanted to try some weird ‘gymnastic sex shit’ on him,” I spit the sentence out like rotten food in my mouth, looking through Mark as I replay the night in my head like some fucked up projector. “Then, he started kicking me while I tried to get up. Over and over. His friend joined in a few times. Then Jace started hitting my head. At some point I think I actually stopped feeling it, whether from shock or still being drunk, and eventually they lifted me up by my arms and legs and literally threw me onto the street. Leaving me to sit in a pool of my own tears, blood, and vomit,” I gulped, closed my eyes, and drew a breath in through my nose, feeling like I might be sick just thinking about it.</p><p>“I-- he--” I correct myself, my face scrunching in anger, “broke two of my ribs, leaving hairline fractures in most of my others. I had a concussion and two black eyes. Not to mention how swollen and bruised the rest of my face was. I’m surprised they didn’t break my nose. Guess I got lucky there,” I breathe out a bitter, short laugh. “I had to call my mom to take me to the hospital. I’ve never seen her more scared-- never seen her cry harder,” I say, choking up all over again as I think about the worry on her face. Tears spill over my cheeks once more as I continue.</p><p>“It didn’t stop there. Once I went back to school, everyone knew-- well, they knew Jace’s version. I tried talking to Jace about it too-- that ended with him pulling a knife on me, saying if I told anyone what actually happened, that he’d kill me,” Mark’s face flashed shock, then anger. “I got followed home, beat up a few times by other people who thought I was a predator-- and you know what? I can’t even fucking blame them,” another humorless laugh escapes my mouth. “Because if I heard that shit about someone I went to school with, I wouldn’t hold back either. Pressuring someone into sex? That’s just rape. And if I had heard that…” I trail off, shaking my head and finally looking back at Mark. “But it’s people like Jace that make actual victims' lives so hard. That makes no one believe them. That make others bring up the fact that people lie about that shit-- but no one talks about how small of a percentage false rape cases make up. Another reason I don’t blame anyone. Anyone besides Jace. You <em>should</em> believe people when they tell you something like that,” My voice breaks. “I was just in an unfortunate situation. And Jace was just a liar. A liar that was loved by everyone. And I was the predatory gay kid who pressured someone into a kinky blowjob,” A smile is spreading across my face, and I start chuckling out of my control, tears still streaming down my face.</p><p>“But isn’t that the kicker?” I finally look back into Mark’s eyes, unable to read the emotion behind them, but it was somewhere between sadness, rage, and confusion. It was painfully similar to the look my mother wore that night. “I didn’t even really want to do it in the first place. I was happy with just a kiss. A kiss from someone that I was sure I was in love with. And then all at once, I wasn’t in love with him anymore.” After I finish the story, there’s a long moment of silence, Mark having stopped rubbing my shoulder. I feel like a husk of a human. For a moment, fear shoots through me and I think Mark doesn’t believe me. “It’s okay if you don’t believe me--”</p><p>“Of course I believe you,” Mark is staring at my eyes, tears forming in his own, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows knitted tight together. “Don’t you think for a second that I don’t.” He says, and I smile, tears still pooling in my eyes.</p><p>“Thank you,” I whisper, letting my head fall and a sigh escape my body.</p><p>“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Mark says in a tone darker than I’ve ever heard before, nothing but venom dripping from his voice. I look up to see pure rage boiling in his eyes as he stares at the wall behind me. “If I see him again, I’m going to fucking kill him.”</p><p>“Don’t. He’s not worth it,” I say, now my turn to place my hand on his shoulder. He looks at me when I touch him, his eyes instantly softening as they land on my face.</p><p>“I don’t understand how someone could hurt you,” He whispers almost to himself, bringing his hand up from my shoulder to cup my cheek. This is when tears spill over his own cheeks, and he falls into me, engulfing me in a hug and burying his face into my neck and leaving it wet. I wrap my arms around him, his crying much quieter than mine was.</p><p>“People are cruel,” is all I can whisper as I zone out on the wall, rubbing Mark’s back. He pulls back, face damp and red, but no new tears flowing. He wipes my cheeks with his thumb, cupping both sides of my face and just staring into my eyes, our faces so close I can feel his breath on my lips.</p><p>“If he ever comes near you again, or threatens you, or even <em>looks</em> in your fucking direction you <em>call</em> me. No matter what time it is, no matter where you are or you think I am,” He’s holding my face in place as to make me keep eye contact, not letting go until I agree, letting his hands fall to the sides of my neck. “I’m so sorry, Ethan.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” I say, but he shakes his head.</p><p>“It’s not okay. That’s… that’s fucking evil,” Mark said, looking down for the first time, as if trying to wrap his head around this.</p><p>“I guess...” I think that now is the time I have to tell Mark how worried I’ve been about where he and I stand, now that it would make more sense. “I guess this is why I’ve been so worried… about you and me. I know you aren’t like that, but it’s always in the back of my mind that… that you don’t think of me as anything other than… something to fuck around with and a friend when you need it,” I look down, ashamed now that I’ve said it out loud that I ever thought he could be like that. He instantly places my chin between his thumb and forefinger, making me look at him once more.</p><p>“I-- I’m so sorry, Ethan. You will never be… just <em>that</em> to me,” he swallows hard, and looks down only for a second before meeting my gaze again, “I should’ve made it clear. I care a lot about you. Those first few days I was only so mean because from the moment I saw you… I don’t even know. How you made me feel scared me. Up until I met you I didn’t really think I would be… I mean, I thought <em>maybe</em>... but I never let myself think about it too much.” He sighs, his eyes looking at me so warmly I feel like I could melt under his gaze. “But the way you made me feel… it wasn’t like anything I’ve felt for anyone before. And I’m sorry if that sounds scary, considering we’ve only known each other for about a month… but it’s like I’ve known you forever. Like, in another life, we’ve been friends for years,” he whispers that last part with a small shake of his head, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth as he just continues to observe me.</p><p>“It doesn’t sound scary,” I say, reaching up and wrapping my hand around the wrist that was supporting my chin. “I’m sorry if I’m still not ready to tell the others… or even put a definition on what this is. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. It’s <em>because</em> I care so much-- not only about you-- but about everyone, that I don’t want to ruin this-- all of this-- by complicating it with other factors.” I hope my thoughts come out coherent enough for him to understand, because under his gaze, and staring into those eyes, it’s impossible to tell for myself.</p><p>“Don’t apologize,” Mark says with a small smile. “There’s nothing to apologize for. We’ll take it one day at a time. If people get nosy and ask questions, we’ll tell them whatever you want-- because what business is it of theirs, anyway?” A grin stretches across my face, and I feel like Mark has set off a pipe bomb in my chest. I’m looking at him and all I can think is how <em>fucking grateful</em> I am to have him in my life.</p><p>“Thank you, Mark,” I can only get out in a whisper, leaning in and letting him engulf me in one of those warm, mind-numbingly wonderful hugs of his.</p><p>“Thank you for trusting me with all of that,” he says into my hair, which only deepens my smile. “Now, if you want we can go out and get the rest of the snacks, and then come back and watch a movie. But only if you’re up for it.” I pull back and look at him, smile still firmly in place.</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bit of a heavy one this time, if there's any TWs i missed, pls let me know so i can add them. i don't want this fic to just be filled with unnecessary trauma (*cough* like a lot i've seen on here *cough*) but life can be traumatic, and i want this fic to have some realistic elements to it. it shouldn't ever get much more detailed than this, and if it does i'll be sure to /really/ get that across in the summary so u know what ur getting into. but i will never depict graphic descriptions of rape or sexual assault, as it makes me extremely uncomfortable.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bars, Boys, Brawls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys take Ethan out as a surprise in an attempt to get his mind off of recent events, but an incident gets everyone riled up and jumping to protect him. Also, if it's not obvious, this takes place in a universe where we are not in a pandemic :| TW: blood and depictions of violence</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, we were thinking of doing something a little different before we head to Sean and Wade’s,” Bob says from the front seat of his car, Tyler passenger seat and Mark and I in the back as usual.</p><p>“Oh, really? What?” I ask, my body bouncing side to side slightly along to the faint beat of music playing from the radio.</p><p>“Well, there’s this bar slash club place not too far from campus that’s 18 and up, you won’t be able to drink until we get back to their apartment, but it looks pretty fun,” Bob explains, and I grin.</p><p>“A bar? I’m down! I’ve never been,” I say, wiggling a bit more excitedly to the music without really noticing. Mark was smiling at me from the side. “What?”</p><p>“Nothing, nothing,” he says with a smirk and a shake of his head, looking away.</p><p>“And, uh, you definitely shouldn’t check under my seat, where I’m definitely not keeping a water bottle filled with vodka, and you definitely shouldn’t pregame in the car while I don’t look at you in my rearview mirror, thus seeing nothing,” Bob says, sniffing in through his nose loudly. “Definitely.” Mark, Tyler and I laugh, and I reach under Bob’s seat. Sure enough, my hand finds a plastic water bottle that’s about 3/4ths of the way full. I unscrew the cap and smell it, pulling my head back and wincing.</p><p>“Jesus christ,” I croak and blink my eyes rapidly. “Strong water.” I throw back a small amount, shaking my head and my face scrunching up after. I let out a loud but short “WOO!” as I pass the bottle to Mark, who is holding out his hand. He takes a swig, pulling away and making a disgusted face.</p><p>“God almighty,” He chokes out. “You went for the hand sanitizer, I see,” he says, making us chuckle.</p><p>“Well, if we had to suddenly dump it somewhere I didn’t want to waste expensive… water,” Bob says as Mark passes the bottle to Tyler.</p><p>“That’s reasonable, that’s reasonable,” Mark says with a nod of his head. Tyler takes a shot, sticking out his tongue over and over afterwards as he caps the bottle and passes it back to me.</p><p>“Anyone else want more before I put it back?” I ask, deciding I’m good with just one shot, especially since we were going to an unfamiliar place. Everyone declines, and I put it back under Bob’s seat. We spend the remainder of the drive singing along to the music Bob has on, but soon enough we arrive at a short and long building. It has a neon sign that says “The Hangar,” dark wood siding lining the whole building with very few windows. Bob pulls out his phone and puts it up to his ear.</p><p>“You guys here yet?” He says into the phone, I assume talking to Wade or Sean. “Cool, we’ll just wait in the parking lot for you,” Bob says, hanging up the phone before turning to us and saying they were almost here. I turn to look out the back window, and see a car pull in, but it’s not Wade’s.</p><p>“Huh, that’s funny. That car I saw the whole ride here is coming to the same place,” I say, wondering where I’ve seen that car before. I’m unable to place it, so I let it go.</p><p>“Probably someone else from campus, a lot of students come here,” Tyler says, not looking up from his phone. I hummed in agreement, a smile spreading across my face when I did see Wade’s car pull in. “They’re here!” We all get out of the car, Wade parking and him and Sean following suit.</p><p>“You guys ready?” Wade asks with a smile, greeting all of us.</p><p>“Yeah! I’m excited,” I say, practically vibrating. These were the experiences I didn’t think I’d get to have with friends, but I always dreamed about. Just going out to a club and having fun.</p><p>“First time at a bar?” Sean asks, clapping me on the shoulder.</p><p>“Yup, never been before,” I say as we walk up to the door, music rattling from inside as all of us pull out our IDs. They let us in after putting an ‘X’ on the back of both my hands as well as Mark’s, and instantly I’m taken away by the setting. An odd but intoxicating mix of house music and R&amp;B is playing, the room dark and only illuminated by dim neon lights in spread out parts of the bar. All the way to the far left is an actual bar with a bunch of stools, the only place that’s lit up properly. To the right are a bunch of booths and tables, and in the middle is a space for people to dance. And boy, were they dancing. Most of the people were on the dance floor, but it wasn’t overwhelmingly crowded.</p><p>“I’m gonna get a drink if anyone wants to join,” Sean says, Tyler following him as the rest of us head to a booth. We take the first one we see that’s big and wraps around, Bob sliding in first, followed by Wade, then me, then Mark.</p><p>“What do you think, Eth?” Mark asks, spreading his legs so his knee can rest against mine. I smile at the nickname.</p><p>“I love it! It’s really cool in here,” I say, looking around the club in wonder.</p><p>“You look like a kid in Disneyland,” Wade chuckles, and I realize everyone is watching my reaction. I chuckle, blushing a bit.</p><p>“I’ve always wanted to go to a club,” I say with a shrug, not able to contain my body from bouncing to the music. They were playing songs I recognized now, but not overplayed songs from, like, last summer, which I assumed would be the case. Sean and Tyler come over, both holding drinks for themselves as they were the only ones who could drink, since Wade and Bob were the designated drivers.</p><p>“Enjoying yourself?” Sean asks, him and Tyler sliding in next to Bob, which meant I basically had to press myself against Mark so we would all fit.</p><p>“Yeah!” I beam, still dancing to the music in my seat.</p><p>“We should come here more often,” Tyler says, smiling at me before taking a sip of his drink, which looked like beer.</p><p>“Oh! I love this song!” I say, moving back and forth to the beat as “All Hands On Deck” by Tinashe comes on. I wondered if this club was aimed at LGBTQ people, because I didn’t think they would play the songs they’ve been playing at a straight bar. I looked around, now noticing that a lot of people looked like they could be… well, some form of gay. Did they choose to come to this bar for me?</p><p>“Do you wanna dance?” Sean asks with a small chuckle, noticing how I’m the only one bouncing in the booth.</p><p>“Not alone,” I laugh, knowing that probably none of them were the dancing type.</p><p>“Pshh, I’ll come with you,” Sean says, and I raise my eyebrows at him.</p><p>“You will?” I ask, doubt strong in my voice.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m a great dancer,” He says, making Mark and Bob laugh. “What?” he asks.</p><p>“‘Great’ is a strong word, friend,” Bob says, Mark agreeing with a chuckle.</p><p>“Oh, I’d like to see you do better,” Sean challenges.</p><p>“Ah, sadly you will be disappointed, because I will not,” Bob says. “But I’m not claiming to be good at dancing.”</p><p>“I am claiming to be good at dancing, and I still think you can’t dance,” Mark says, making Sean raise his eyebrows at Mark. This sentence also earns a laugh from me.</p><p>“What?” Mark asks, looking between us as his voice raises a few pitches in defense.</p><p>“I don’t think I can picture you dancing,” I say with a shrug.</p><p>“Yeah, because he doesn’t,” Sean chuckles, taking a big gulp of his beer. Mark makes a confused and warbled noise as he shakes his head, which makes me laugh.</p><p>“All of this slander from someone who hasn’t seen me dance,” Mark says.</p><p>“Well, we’ve seen you try to dance,” Wade says, pulling out more confused gibberish from Mark.</p><p>“Alright. Ethan, Sean, let’s go,” Mark says, getting up and grabbing me by my wrist, pulling me out of the booth and gesturing Sean to follow. Sean rolls his eyes, chugging more beer before getting up and following. We get to the floor just as the Tinashe song ends, the familiar beat of “Commes des Garcons” by Rina Sawayama filling the room. Yeah, this is definitely a gay bar.</p><p>“<em>Commes des garcons… like the boys, like the boys</em>” Sean and I get into the beat rather easily, him gyrating and swaying his hips in a joking manner, pulling ridiculous faces and making Mark and I laugh. “<em>Commes des garcons… I’m so confident</em>” Sean runs his hands down his body and does a spin, making me shake my head. I turn to Mark, who while stepping to the beat, definitely looks out of his element.</p><p>“‘I’m claiming to be a good dancer’,” I say in a deep, goofy voice in Mark’s ear. He gives me a look before rolling his eyes.</p><p>“I just don’t know this song,” he defends, and I can’t help but laugh at how much of a child he can turn into. I grab his hands, and start swaying with him to the beat, which helps him a bit, but he’s still not moving his hips.</p><p>“Loosen up,” I lean in, raising my voice in his ear while adding, “Look at Sean,” I say, gesturing to our friend. Instantly, Mark and I break into a laugh. He’s spiralled off onto his own slightly, and is going <em>crazy</em> on the dance floor, dancing with some poor random guy. To be fair, the guy didn’t seem too bothered. I also don’t think Sean realizes people will assume he’s gay if he does these things, or maybe he doesn’t care.</p><p>“Ok, nevermind, bad example,” I say with a laugh as I turn to Mark. “Follow my lead,” I say, placing my hands on his hips and moving them as I sway my own body to the beat. He starts moving pretty easily, once he gets into it, but it looks like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. This, I can relate to. I move my hands from his hips to place his own on my shoulders, returning my hands to his hips when I’m done. We aren’t dancing that close to each other, definitely some room for Jesus, but it brings a wide smile to my face thinking about how if other people saw us, they would probably assume we’re together. “Yeah, like that!” I say once he really starts to loosen up, swaying back and forth with me, and even throwing some body gyrations in. We let go of each other, me giving him some space to actually dance, and I have to say; I’m impressed. Maybe a bit more than just impressed. Dancing is all about confidence, and now that I think about it, of course Mark would be good at it.</p><p>I can’t help but look him up and down as we move, my eyes lingering on his stomach and hips. I bite my lip and look up to see him watching me, watching him. It makes me blush, but I’m sure he can’t see in the dark lighting. The song ends, the beginning to “My Type” by Saweetie comes on, causing a chorus of “AYYYYs” to come from the crowd. I can’t help but laugh, Mark starting to dance more of a joke now as he attempts to throw his ass. I get behind him, being sure to leave a bit of room, but holding one hip with one hand, the other hand hovering over Mark’s ass as I mimic a smacking motion to the beat. I look over at the booth where our friends are to see them in near tears from laughter as they watch us. Wade and Tyler were doubled over, Bob’s body shaking from his wheeze laugh, which I didn’t even need to be in the vicinity to hear. I look to the left to Sean pointing and waving his hand to the beat at us, the widest grin on his face that I’ve ever seen as he dances with a different random guy.</p><p>The song ends and Mark leans into my ear, saying he’s gonna run to the bathroom. I just nod and keep dancing as a song called “Back It Up” comes on that I only know because Flo Milli features on it. Sean seems caught up dancing with the guy, now oddly looking like they’re having a conversation, but I’m no stranger to dancing by myself once I’m in it, so I just keep going. A group of girls cheer me on for a second when we make eye contact, making me laugh, but I keep dancing. I was singing Flo Milli’s verse (obviously skipping the word I <em>can’t</em> say) when I felt a hand wrap around my waste. I smile, thinking I’ve somehow missed Mark coming out of the bathroom, but when I turn and see who the hand belongs to, I freeze, my face falling.</p><p>Jace is smiling back at me, as if nothing about this scenario is <em>horrifically</em> wrong. I take a step back, pushing his hand away. Confusion-- of all fucking things-- flashes across his face as he furrows his eyebrows and leans in to speak.</p><p>“Hey, I’m glad I ran into you--” he starts, but then it all hits me, so I cut him off.</p><p>“That was your car,” my eyebrows furrow, and I feel fear fill my body. “You <em>followed</em> me,” I hiss at him, equal amounts of anger now filling me.</p><p>“What? Ethan, of course not,” he says, and it scares me how much it looks like he believes his own words. I back up more, but he grabs my wrist.</p><p>“Get off me!” I yell at him, trying to pull my hand free, but his grip tightens enough that I think it might leave a bruise. His face was no longer unsuspecting and innocent, hardening into what I know is his true self; vicious and ruthless. I start panicking, looking for Sean but not seeing him in the crowd anymore, and when I look to the booth all of the guys seem caught up in a conversation. I stare at them, pleading, willing them to just <em>look at me</em>.</p><p>“Why don’t you come with me and we talk this out,” Jace says in a threatening tone, not as a question. He takes his other hand and grips my bicep, making me let out a yelp as he starts pulling me off the dance floor and towards the door. Panic fills me as I try and pull away, but he’s always been stronger than me.</p><p><em>This is it,</em> I think. <em>He’s going to kill you.</em></p><p>Before he can get me to the door, however, I see Mark step in front of him, instantly wrapping Jace’s shirt in his fist. Jace was my size, which meant Mark was just barely taller, but Mark’s presence alone makes him look twice Jace’s size. Muscle wise, he definitely was. Jace lets go of me once Mark lifts him off the ground just a bit, and I feel another hand on my shoulder. I flinch, but I relax when I turn to see Sean, who pushes me behind him so he is now between me and Jace’s back. I haven’t seen him look that serious ever.</p><p>“Let’s take a walk outside,” I hear Mark say in a scarily steady voice, his face unmoving and jaw clenched, but I see that familiar flame in his eyes. I hate Jace, and for a moment even I get scared for what might happen. Not because I care about Jace getting hurt, but because I don’t want Mark to go too far and face repercussions. I look over to see that Bob, Wade, and Tyler have now seen what’s happening, and are beelining for us. Tyler chugs the rest of his beer before leading up the back.</p><p>Mark drops Jace, just to put his hand on the back of his neck, and I can tell even from behind Sean that he’s gripping hard. The bodyguard opens the door for us, looking unphased, which almost makes me laugh. Mark pushes Jace out of the bar, but doesn’t let go of his neck.</p><p>“Let’s go just around this corner,” his voice is still calm as he directs Jace to where the bodyguard will no longer be able to see us, Sean following. I turn behind us and see Bob, Wade, and Tyler following us, all of them looking more worried and serious than I’ve ever seen them. It’s disconcerting to see people I’ve only seen be lighthearted be so stone faced. As soon as Mark gets Jace behind the wall, he shoves him face first into the wall, hard. Jace lets out a cry of pain, and I can’t deny that it brought me a lot of satisfaction.</p><p>“Mark, don’t do anything you’ll regret--” Bob warns, stepping into a position where he could easily intercept if need be. Sean just leans against the wall on his shoulder, an eyebrow quirked and his arms crossed as he observes Jace.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I won’t regret any of this,” Mark says, throwing Jace to the ground.</p><p>“Oh boy,” Bob sighs, shaking his head. Wade puts a hand on my shoulder, again I flinch.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says, removing his hand, but I wave my hand as if to say it was fine. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I say, him nodding. Tyler walks casually to the only open side of Jace, now giving him no place to escape.</p><p>“Listen very closely, Jake,” Mark says, making me scoff.</p><p>“It’s Jace--” Jace groans from the ground, only to get cut off by a swift kick to the side.</p><p>“You’re going to leave Ethan the fuck alone,” He says, his calm tone dissolving into one that’s deadly. I frankly don’t know whether to be scared, or turned on. It’s a mix of both. “Because if you don’t, I will beat you black and fucking blue. You will be dick deep in hospital bills for the rest of your <em>pathetic</em> life, do you understand me?” Jace doesn’t answer, still coughing from the first kick. He tries to get up, but Sean moves from his place on the wall and puts a foot on his back, stopping him.</p><p>“Don’t think so, buddy,” Sean says simply, arms still crossed. Mark kicks Jace’s elbow in, making him drop to the ground again with a yelp. He crouches down so he’s level with Jace’s face, Sean applying more pressure onto his back and making him cry out. I’m shivering, not from being cold, but from adrenaline and residual fear. Wade puts his arm around my shoulders, and this time I don’t flinch.</p><p>“Do you want me to wait in the car with you?” Wade asks me in a low voice. I just shake my head, watching as Mark grabs a fistful of Jace’s hair and pulls his head up to look at him.</p><p>“Let me rephrase that,” Mark says, voice calm before filling with venom again. “Leave Ethan alone, or I will fucking <em>kill you</em>. Clear?” Jace is staring at Mark with so much hate, even in this moment I know he thinks he’s invincible, and I know it destroys him inside when he says “Clear.” Mark drops his head suddenly and stands up, making Jace’s forehead smack the concrete. Sean removes his shoe from Jace’s back, allowing Jace to stand. He stands up, staring daggers at Sean. Sean raises his eyebrows at him, as if to challenge him. Bob and Tyler have stayed deadly quiet this whole time, and even still Tyler wears his same stone faced expression, but this time his eyes look just as angry as Mark’s. Then, Jace makes what seems like his millionth mistake this night. He turns to me, trying to speak.</p><p>“Ethan, if we can just ta--” before he can even get his sentence out, Mark swings and punches him square in the jaw, making my mouth fall open and a surprised laugh fall out of it. Wade and Sean breath a laugh. Jace falls over from the shock and the impact, yelling out as he holds his hands to his nose, which is now pouring blood.</p><p>“Was wondering when that was gonna come,” Bob says, a slightly amused smirk on his face as he turns to Mark. “Can we get going before someone calls the cops?”</p><p>“Gladly,” Mark says, tone much lighter now, everyone beginning to walk to the cars. I, however, hang back, walking over to where Jace is crumpled in a pile on the ground. They all stop, turning back to look at me when they see I’m not following. I crouch down, balancing on my toes. Jace looks up at me, tears running down his face and mixing with the blood, him sniffling and wincing. A small, amused smile spreads on my face as I look down at him.</p><p>“You’re so much more pathetic than I remember,” I say simply, before getting up and following the guys, who are all looking at me with raised eyebrows.</p><p>“Anything else?” Bob asks me, raising his eyebrows and looking back at Jace.</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” I say, looking up like I forgot something before jogging back to Jace, who was now attempting to get up, on all fours except for the hand holding his nose. I don’t hesitate before I swing a swift, hard kick into his ribs, making him fall back flat on the ground with a loud grunt. I smile as I turn back, everyone now actually heading to their cars. Mark slings his arm around my shoulders as we walk, looking at me with worried eyes, but I was smiling.</p><p>“You okay?” He asks me, examining my face. I look back at him as he opens the back door of Bob’s car for me.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I am,” I say honestly, sliding into the backseat. I knew fear and paranoia would probably creep into me at some point, days later, but for now, I was going to enjoy this feeling. It felt like I finally closed a chapter that should have ended a long time ago. Sean taps Bob’s window, Bob rolling it down.</p><p>“You guys still down to come back to ours?” He asks, holding onto the top of the car as he leans his head through the window. No one answers, all turning to look at me. I chuckle.</p><p>“Are you kidding? I need to get drunk,” I smile, reaching under Bob’s seat and grabbing the water bottle, shaking it a bit in Sean’s direction. Sean chuckles.</p><p>“Alright, good, meet you guys there,” He says, patting the hood of Bob’s car twice as he walks around and gets into Wade’s car, Bob rolling up his window. I unscrew the bottle cap and throw back the biggest gulp I can manage, instantly shivering and twitching from the taste. Mark laughs at me, Bob starting the car and pulling out, music coming to life as Bob follows Wade’s car. I offer him the bottle, which he takes, swallowing a sip and cringing as he passes the bottle to Tyler. I’m bobbing my head to the song that’s playing, turning to look at Mark when I feel him staring at me. He has this small smile on his face, making me raise an eyebrow.</p><p>“What?” I chuckle, and he shakes his head.</p><p>“Come here,” He says, leaning over and pulling me into a headlock, giving me a noogie on the top of my head. I laugh, holding onto the forearm wrapped around me. He lets me go, and I sit up, still laughing. It makes me laugh harder that that’s probably the only way he felt comfortable touching me in front of Bob and Tyler, my laugh high pitched and my hands going up to hold my face. He’s laughing too, and I when I finally calm down, I look at him and start laughing all over.</p><p>“Are you laughing for the same reason I’m laughing?” He asks through chuckles.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure, man,” I laugh harder, nodding my head at him. Our laughter finally dies down, Tyler passing the bottle to me, only about one shot left. “You want it?” I ask, offering it to Mark before I finish it off.</p><p>“Nah, it’s all you, man,” He says, a smile still on his face. I throw the rest of the drink back, letting out a disgusted noise before capping the bottle and holding it between my legs so I remember to throw it away. The drive to Wade and Sean’s isn’t long, and only a few minutes later we pull up to their apartment building, all of us hopping out of our cars. Well, I was about to hop out of the car, when Mark opens my door from outside, and pulls me out around my torso.</p><p>“Wha-- hey!” I laugh, him holding me above the ground and bouncing up and down with me, like I’m a baby. Bob and Sean look at us, both turning away with an eye roll and a smile.</p><p>“This is for almost making me kill a man for you,” Mark says, but he’s laughing, and so am I as he starts swinging me from side to side.</p><p>“Mark, you’re gonna give him shaken baby syndrome,” Sean says, everyone else heading toward the complex. Finally, Mark sets me on the ground, slinging his arm over my shoulders as we walk. I hold onto his hand with one of mine, my other arm wrapping around his waist. We bring up the back as we make our way into Wade and Sean’s apartment, trying not to be too loud, but as soon as their front door is closed, we all burst into laughter. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure it’s just at the fact that all of that <em>actually</em> happened. All of us were laughing our loudest, most genuine laughs, and I found myself a bit amazed that I could still feel this great after having such an intense encounter with Jace. Granted I’m tipsy.</p><p>“When Bob said ‘oh boy’ I almost lost my shit, but I wanted to stay serious to scare him,” Wade said through strained laughter, which made Bob start laughing again.</p><p>“Listen man, I thought we were gonna have to help Mark hide a body, that ‘oh boy’ was genuine,” Bob laughs, making all of us laugh even harder, Wade falling to lean against the wall.</p><p>“I’ve never seen any of you look that serious, I thought I had fallen into a different dimension,” I laughed with a wave of my hand.</p><p>“What did it for me was Wade being all comforting and sweet to Ethan while this dude is crumpled on the floor, and Mark looks like he is literally about to turn him inside out,” Tyler says, Mark throwing his head back and laughing a loud, boisterous laugh</p><p>.</p><p>“‘Oh, Ethan are you okay?’” Bob says, reaching a hand out to me as he mimics Wade in a soft tone, then switching to a deep and aggressive tone for Mark, “‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?’” This causes all of us to collapse to even more laughter, and I think I might pass out from lack of oxygen.</p><p>“No, did you see Mark book it from the bathroom, though?” Sean asked, holding his stomach. “I didn’t even see what was happening yet, I just see Mark beelining to the door looking like he’s about to take flight,” Bob’s giggle starts, soon turning into a full blown laugh once again. “I turned to the guy I was dancing with and was like ‘I’m sorry, my friend is about to commit a murder, I have to go,’” this elicits another bout of laughter from all of us, and I decide it’s time for me to sit down on the couch before I’m the one on the floor.</p><p>“Stop-- don’t even bring up the dancing,” Wade laughs, his face red and looking like tears are about to start falling down his face from laughter.</p><p>“When I looked over and saw Ethan behind Mark--” that was all Bob had to say for us to delve into cackles.</p><p>“Oh my god, that might have been the highlight of my life,” Wade said with a shake of his head as he went to the fridge, grabbing a handful of drinks for us and placing them all on the counter. Bob, Wade, Sean, and Tyler took a beer, Mark and I going for Mike’s Hards.</p><p>“I was like ‘oh, <em>Ethan’s</em> the one in the back’,” Sean said, making everyone laugh, but my jaw just dropped at him.</p><p>“Ex-<em>cuse</em> me? I can be the top,” I defended, not meaning to be funny, but making everyone laugh-- especially Mark, who was sitting next to me.</p><p>“Uh-huh, and Mark’s good at dancing,” Tyler says, taking a sip of his beer. This, however, did make me laugh. It was now Mark’s turn to be offended.</p><p>“Hey! I was good! I got into it!” Mark defended, everyone rolling their eyes at him.</p><p>“Yeah, after Ethan practically spoonfed you how to dance,” Bob said.</p><p>“See! I can be the dominant one--” I barely got the sentence out before they were laughing. I rolled my eyes and sat back, crossing my arms with a pout.</p><p>“What about Sean? Did you see his dancing?” Mark said in that high pitched defensive tone that I know so well, gesturing to Sean who now looked genuinely offended, even though he was still smiling.</p><p>“Hey! My dancing was lovely!” He said, then adding, “And I had two men to prove it.” This made me cackle.</p><p>“Yeah, Sean, you’re aware those men were trying to <em>fuck</em> you, right? They would’ve danced with you no matter what,” I say, making Bob lose his shit.</p><p>“Oo get em! Tear down his confidence!” Bob exclaimed as he pointed at Sean, making Mark laugh.</p><p>“Well, regardless they wanted a piece,” Sean said with a head tilt as he took a sip of his beer. “So consider my confidence in tact, if not reinforced.”</p><p>“In Sean and Mark’s defense, they did have the guts to actually dance,” I said, pointing the tip of the bottle between Tyler, Wade, and Bob with raised eyebrows.</p><p>“I don’t think anyone wants to see me attempt to dance,” Tyler said with a shake of his head.</p><p>“Not true! At some point I better see all of you throw a little ass,” I said before taking a sip of my drink. “Plus, it’s a dark club,” I added when I thought about how they might actually look. This made Mark burst into laughter.</p><p>“Was I really that bad?” Mark asked in a small voice once the laughter had died, and I couldn’t help but look at him like a puppy. But I still laughed.</p><p>“No, you weren’t that bad once you got your confidence,” I said, everyone besides me and Mark groaning after I said that.</p><p>“So what you’re saying,” Mark looked at me with raised eyebrows and a tilted head, “is I need to be <em>more</em> confident?” We all groaned except Mark this time, me realizing my mistake as I rolled my eyes.</p><p>“Ethan, why would you do this to us?” Bob asked in a monotone voice that made Mark chuckle.</p><p>“I dunno, I dunno,” I shook my head, taking a big drink of my Mike’s.</p><p>“Ok, do you guys wanna play some games?” Wade asked, all of us agreeing.</p><p>“I don’t feel like getting up and doing stuff, though,” I say, a few of the guys nodding their heads.</p><p>“Uh, okay, video games or some other kind of game?” Wade asks.</p><p>“Other game, so we can all play at once,” Tyler says.</p><p>“Oo, how about a good ol’ game of MFK?” Sean suggests.</p><p>“MFK, why does that sound familiar?” Bob asks.</p><p>“Mary, fuck, kill,” Mark and I say in unison.</p><p>“Ah, yes, MFK,” Bob says with a head nod. “I’m down.”</p><p>“Ok, does marriage include fucking, or is it no fucking?” I ask, since people usually have a different idea each time they play this.</p><p>“Includes fucking. So if you marry someone, you gotta do it multiple times, but if you just fuck someone, it’s once,” Bob says, everyone nodding in agreement.</p><p>“Just people in the group or anyone?” Sean asks, and we all think for a moment.</p><p>“Why don’t we make it people in the group, and once we run out of combinations we’ll just call it a night?” I suggest, and everyone seems to be on board with this.</p><p>“Ok, I’ll start,” Sean says. “Bob, MFK: Ethan, Wade, Tyler.”</p><p>“Ugh, well I’m killing Mark,” Bob says immediately, making all of us laugh and Mark look at him with offense.</p><p>“What! I’m a great choice for marrying or fucking! Definitely better than Wade!” Mark says, gesturing wildly with the hand that isn’t holding his drink.</p><p>“Yeah but you would be so cocky about it anytime we banged,” he says, then adds, “Plus I’ve heard you make that ‘you close’ joke too many times, I’m set, bud.”</p><p>“What joke?” I ask, everyone laughing.</p><p>“Yeah, do the joke, Mark. Do the joke for Ethan,” Bob says in that teasing tone of his, and for once, Mark looks embarrassed.</p><p>“I… don’t feel like it,” He says, not looking at Bob as he takes a drink. “It would be forced, and not naturally, uh, comedic.”</p><p>“Yeah, uh-huh,” Sean says with a roll of his eyes. “That’s why.”</p><p>“What? It is!” Mark defends.</p><p>“C’monnnn, Mark,” I whine, looking at him with pleading eyes. “I wanna hear the joke.”</p><p>“To be fair, it’s the worst joke,” Wade says, everyone who isn’t Mark or me agreeing.</p><p>“Fine, don’t tell me the joke,” I give a dramatic huff, looking away from Mark as if he’s offended me.</p><p>“I’m surprised you haven’t heard it yet,” Tyler says, Sean scoffing.</p><p>“I’m not,” Sean mutters.</p><p>“Anyway,” Mark says loudly, looking at Bob. “Bob, finish your turn.”</p><p>“Uh, fuck Wade and marry Ethan,” Bob says, and I put my hand over my heart and shoot him a smile.</p><p>“Ok, let’s go Ethan next,” Sean says, gesturing to me with his bottle before finishing his drink and going to get another.</p><p>“Um… Tyler, MFK: Me, Mark, Sean,” I say, looking at Tyler who barely even hesitates before giving his answer.</p><p>“Marry you, fuck Sean, kill Mark,” he says simply, taking a sip of his drink. I smile, Sean laughing from the kitchen while Mark starts making those weird noises he makes when he’s insulted.</p><p>“Wha- Hu- What?” He stutters with a shake of his head. Sean comes back, still chuckling at Mark. “What have I done to all of you?”</p><p>“Well, it’s your turn now,” Tyler says, us ignoring Mark, which makes Bob laugh.</p><p>“Fine. Ethan, MFK, same people except it’s me, Tyler, Sean,” Mark raises his eyebrows at me.</p><p>“Uh... “I thought about it, pausing with my drink in the middle of making its way to my mouth. “Marry you… fuck Sean, kill Tyler-- no offence, Tyler,” I say, feeling bad because he just said he would marry me, but he just laughs.</p><p>“None taken,” he says, waving it off as he finishes his own drink and gets another.</p><p>“Finally, someone doesn’t kill me,” Mark mutters into his bottle before taking a sip.</p><p>“Yeah, big shocker there,” Sean scoffs, which makes my face heat. Luckily I’ve gotten a bit better about the whole blushing thing. “Hey, Ethan,” I look at Sean who gives me a playful wink and puts a handphone up to his face, mouthing ‘call me.’ I laugh and roll my eyes as I take another sip of my drink.</p><p>“Bob, you go,” I say, nodding at him.</p><p>“Uh, ok, Mark, MFK: Ethan, Wade, Sean,” Bob says, taking a drink.</p><p>“Marry Ethan fuck Sean kill Wade,” Mark says, leaning back against the couch before adding, “Easy.” Wade rolls his eyes, but chuckles.</p><p>”Oo, I’m so marriable,” I say with a small shoulder shimmy.
</p>
<p>“Ok, Wade, MFK: Bob, Sean, me,” Tyler asks Wade, who thinks for a moment.</p><p>“Uh, Marry you, fuck Sean, kill Bob,” He says, Bob chiming in.</p><p>“Hey! I-- made love to you!” He says in a weirdly over-exaggerated country accent, which makes all of us burst into laughter.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Bob, it was just a one-and-done for me,” Wade says, looking at Bob with exaggerated sweetness in his eyes.</p><p>“It’s fine! I was thinkin’ of my husband Ethan the whole time, anyway!” Bob says dramatically before taking a drink, now also needing to get up to get a new one. His words make me laugh.</p><p>“Ok, my turn,” Wade says, thinking. “Sean, MFK: Mark, Ethan, me.”</p><p>“Pfft, easy. Marry Ethan, fuck Mark, kill you,” Sean says, making all of us laugh, Bob especially loud from the kitchen.</p><p>“Damn, fuckin’ ruthless,” Bob says as he returns with a new drink. We play another round, everyone finishing their drinks, and we decide it’s time for bed. As usual, Mark and I head to the guest bedroom.</p><p>“Tonight was fuckin’ wild--” I can barely finish my sentence, because as soon as the door shuts, Mark grabs me, cupping his hands around my face, and kisses me, hard. A noise of surprise is forced out of me, but it’s lost in Mark’s mouth. Eventually, I adjust and kiss him back, snaking my hands onto his waist. It still feels like the first time we kissed, maybe even better. I swear that I could get drunk off of him alone. He wraps his hands into my hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a moan from me, which makes him press his body further against mine. Our lips move together, slow and forceful, our breaths becoming ragged through our nose as the kiss lasts. He pulls back, both of us a bit out of breath, and we just stare into each other.</p><p>“What was that for?” I ask, my voice quiet.</p><p>“I don’t know, I’ve just wanted to do it all night. Especially after what happened...” His voice trails off, his eyes looking away.</p><p>“Thank you, for that,” I say, calling his attention back to my eyes.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. There was kind of no stopping me once I saw him grabbing you like that,” He said, shaking his head at the memory. “I’m sorry it happened at all. I should’ve stayed with you, or brought you with me-- or back to the table--” I cut him off with another kiss, this one softer, but just long enough for him to pull me closer again. We break apart, enjoying each other in silence once again.</p><p>“You can’t be with me all the time. It’s not your fault, it’s his for being like that,” I say softly, and he sighs, looking at me with a sad smile. He brushes the hair falling over my forehead away, then plants a long, soft kiss right in the middle. I feel my eyes flutter shut, and my hands grip his shirt just a little bit tighter. He pulls back.</p><p>“I won’t let him lay a finger on you again. I’ll run him out of fuckin’ town if I have to,” Mark says, his words so threatening, but his voice and the way he’s looking at me so soft. All I can do is smile at him.</p><p>We get ready for bed, me sprawling on the bed first so Mark will have to be the one to turn off the lights. Once he’s in bed and the lights are off, he pulls me close. He lies on his back, and pulls me so my leg and my arm are holding him, my head resting on his chest, like the first time we ever hooked up. Except this time, both of us are too tired for that, and all I want right now is to just lie here with Mark, who’s one arm is wrapped around my middle, and the other is holding the hand that’s spread across him. He holds our hands up slightly, them barely visible in the dark, but I watch as he plays with them, moving our fingertips together, lacing and unlacing them. Eventually he lets mine fall on his stomach, reaching up and running his hand through my hair.</p><p>I fall asleep to his thumb tracing patterns on my side, and his other hand playing with my hair softly, not a worry on my mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry it took a bit to update! i've been struggling with my health (not covid related, luckily) and on days where i have doctors appointments i'll probably be too tired to do anything, including write lmfao. anyway, hope yall enjoy :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope u enjoyed!! thanks for reading :) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>